


Waiting Up

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Eruriren - Freeform, Kidnapping, M/M, Non-Binary Hange Zoë, Nonbinary Character, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, a tad bit of angst, but still, i mean not a TON, lots of sandwiches, more angst than i intended, not exactly fluff, of all sorts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-01-16 20:09:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 80,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1360168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren could never sleep until he saw that his boyfriends were home safe and sound.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, I've been watching a lot of Burn Notice and have been craving some Eruriren. So this happened. For once I actually have some ideas for a plot! Sort of! Yay! So I will try to write more! It will get kinda violent though so hence the warning. Not really violence in this chapter, though I guess there's a little bit of gore?
> 
> Aaaanywho. My tumblr is downtheupstairs if you guys want to give me ideas or ask questions or say hello to a virtual stranger!

            It was difficult never knowing when your lover was going to come home. For Eren, that difficulty was doubled.

            He couldn’t even begin to count the hours he’d spent wearing holes in the carpet in the living room or watching late-night infomercials on the TV because he didn’t know when either of his two lovers were going to be home. He used to make dinner for them – mostly just simple things, since he’d never been very good at cooking – but after so much wasted food he’d learned to just let them fend for themselves, though more frequently he’d offer to make them something after they walked in the door. He had a hard time sleeping if they weren’t back, or if he didn’t at least know they were safe. He had gone through plenty of sleepless nights because their safety wasn’t confirmed.

            But he knew what he was getting into when he started dating spies.

            It had been bad enough when he’d only been dating one of them, but then life happened and one thing led to another and he was dating both Erwin and Levi, who had been partners in crime – well, Eren didn’t actually know that many details about their work, so he wasn’t completely sure if it included crime or not, though it certainly came with plenty of injuries – for years. And since they usually worked together, more often than not Eren was staring at the door and hoping two people walked through it.

            That was certainly the case tonight. Eren was watching some infomercial about a new-crazy-awesome-magical piece of fitness equipment at three a.m. while he waited for Erwin and Levi to walk in the door. He kept his eyes from straying to the door too often, since he refused to appear as worried as he was, and instead kept them trained on the cheery exercising people on screen as his mind went through all of the terrible things that could have happened to his boyfriends. It was painful to think about, but he’d been in this situation so many times before that he’d acquired a sort of numbness about it. He could, in a way, compartmentalize.

            It wasn’t until 3:27 that Erwin and Levi walked through the door. Eren schooled his face as he turned to look at them, and he could see the hints of guilt in their eyes when they realized that this hadn’t been the one time Eren had managed to rest easy without them there. Neither of them liked that he stayed up worrying about them, but they knew there wasn’t much they could do about it.

            Eren kept his relief hidden as he said, “Hi,” to his two lovers, but they both saw how the boy’s eyes raked over them, checking for missing limbs or pools of blood. The only thing out of place that he found was Levi holding a hand over his upper arm, some blood visibly staining the fabric around it.

            When Levi saw Eren’s eyes focus on his wound he said, “It was only grazed.”

            Eren moved his eyes to lock with Levi’s and there was a silent accusation there – a growl that said any wound is one too many, grazed in the arm or shot through the heart how dare you get hurt – but in a moment that accusation was gone and Eren nodded curtly as he unwound his arms from around his knees and stood from where he’d been sitting curled up on the couch. He turned away from his two lovers and said, “I’ll make you something to eat,” before he moved into the kitchen.

            Erwin and Levi were used to this, but similar to Eren’s worried waiting for them their guilt at making the boy worry never subsided. They shared a sad look before the moved to take of their shoes and coats, Levi keeping his bloodied jacket with him to throw in the trash later.

            It was silent as Eren starting making two grilled-cheese sandwiches on the stove. He kept his eyes on the pan as they cooked, using this time, as he always did, to let go of his worries. He needed this moment of normalcy, this moment where he didn’t have to face Levi or Erwin but he still knew they were alright, to slowly close his eyes and feel the tears – tears of relief, of anger, of joy, of hurt – welling up behind them and let them slowly drip down inside his body to settle in his stomach. He would never outwardly cry about this. He made that promise long ago. But there were moments like this where he needed to at least face away so he didn’t have to try so hard to school his expression.

            He heard Erwin and Levi moving around the kitchen behind him. Levi sat on one of the chairs at the table in the breakfast nook and took off his bloodied shirt as Erwin padded into the bathroom to get the first aid kit. The first aid kit, which saw so much use, and which contained more than just bandages for pricked fingers. Erwin pulled up a chair next to Levi’s only slightly-bleeding arm when he returned with the kit and pulled out the materials to suture the grazed skin shut. He had just pulled the needle once through Levi’s skin before Eren set down two plates, each with a sandwich, on the table. The boy washed his hands at the sink before he returned to his boyfriends and put a hand on Erwin’s shoulder.

            “Let me,” he said quietly. “You eat.”

            Erwin looked like he wanted to argue, and Levi looked at Erwin, silently asking him to argue; neither of them wanted Eren to have to ever see any blood, so they didn’t want to make him take over cleaning Levi’s wound, but they also knew that in a way Eren needed this. He needed to feel useful, helpful. He needed to be able to see that his two lovers were whole, and if they weren’t he needed to help them become so again. Neither of them liked involving Eren at all in their work lives, but they knew Eren needed it. So Erwin handed the needle to Eren and went to wash his hands before returning to the table to eat.

            Eren focused entirely on his work, stitching up Levi’s arm as perfectly as he was able, the same way he’d focused on making the grilled cheeses. Levi sat patiently, but Eren could feel the slight twitches in pain that he couldn’t help making, and Erwin could see Levi’s slightly furrowed brow. They all knew Levi had been through much, much worse, but there was always a pain to being sewn up to which one couldn’t get accustomed.

            When he finished, Eren secured some gauze to the wound with a large bandage. He then leaned forward and kissed the bandage like a mother might kiss a child’s boo-boo to make it better. He just wanted to make it better.

            Levi put his injured arm around Eren’s shoulder and pulled the boy close to his side. He ate his sandwich with his free hand, and when both of them had finished eating Erwin went to wash them. Levi sat there for a minute, just holding Eren close, before he moved away to pack up the first aid kid.

            Eren sat as his two lovers moved around the house to clean up, though they only took a minute because there wasn’t much to do, until Erwin dried his hands with the dishtowel and walked over to where Eren was sitting. He held out both of his hands for Eren to take, and the boy stood and let himself be pulled into the larger man’s chest. He listened to Erwin’s breathing and heartbeat for a moment, and then Erwin released Eren except for his hold on one of they boy’s hands as he led him to the bedroom. Eren had been in his pajamas for hours, so he padded into the bathroom and washed his teeth before crawling onto the large bed in their bedroom and sitting in the middle with his arms around his knees as he watched Erwin and Levi each change into sweats.

            The two were finally ready for bed and they each got on either side of the bed, keeping Eren between them. Eren reached for Levi and pulled him close, pressing their lips together for a quick moment before the boy released him and turned to do the same to Erwin. He then maneuvered himself to get below the covers and let himself be squished between his two lovers. He wrapped his arms around Levi’s waist and buried his face in the man’s hair as Erwin spooned up behind Eren. Eren grabbed one of Erwin’s legs between his own, trapping him maybe not as securely as he was able to with Levi, but still enough to make him feel safe. Enough to make him feel like they wouldn’t leave. Enough to allow him to rest, knowing that they would both be there in the morning.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

            Erwin woke first the next morning, having gotten his body trained years ago to wake at exactly six a.m. So, even though he’d only gotten a little more than two hours of sleep, he woke anyway, still holding tight to Eren and the boy still gripping one of his legs between his own. He smiled at his two sleeping lovers and snuggled closer to them before falling back asleep, still tired after such a late night.

            Eren woke next, but not until it was almost noon. He was groggy, but happy that both Erwin and Levi were still beside him and sleeping soundly. It was tough work to extricate himself from his lovers without waking them, and Levi actually did start to wake, but Eren quickly shushed him and gave him a small kiss, whispering, “No, keep sleeping,” before he was able to get off the bed. Levi hummed and turned into the empty space Eren had left. The boy was pleased to see that he and Erwin didn’t fill the space but rather just unconsciously pulled the blankets tighter around them. They were always telling Eren how he was practically a furnace, so he assumed they felt cold when he left.

            After watching his lovers sleep peacefully for a minute, Eren went about his morning routine, showering and getting dressed and everything. He decided to just skip breakfast since it was already so late and made himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch, though he did have a cup of coffee with it. Even though he’d slept so late, he was still tired from waiting up so long in worry. He turned on the television and lowered the sound so it was barely audible so as not to wake his lovers in the other room and watched as he ate on the living room couch.

            It wasn’t until just after one that Eren heard the shower turn on, telling him that one of his boyfriends was awake. A few minutes later, Levi padded out into the kitchen, a fresh bandage on his wound, which was partially covered by the t-shirt he was wearing. The shirt was huge on him, so Eren assumed it was Erwin’s. Whenever they were just lounging around the house, Eren found himself wondering if Levi owned any t-shirts of his own. He was always stealing them from Erwin and Eren. Though, the two of them didn’t exactly mind.

            Levi ate a yogurt as he waited for a fresh pot of coffee to brew, and Eren watched him from the other room. He watched as Levi poured his cup and stirred in a spoonful of sugar, and then how he took it by the rim in that distinct way he carried his cups and brought it into the living room and put it on a coaster next to Eren’s own half-empty mug. He sat down next to Eren and, still mostly asleep as Levi almost always was before his first cup of coffee no matter how late he slept, pulled the boy into a kiss. He played with the hair just above the nape of Eren’s neck, which never failed to make the boy groan, and when he did Levi just pulled away with a sleepy smirk and cuddled into Eren’s side, picking up his coffee again and slowly sipping at it. Eren rested his head on Levi’s shoulder while the man still absently played with his hair with the hand not holding his coffee and he allowed himself to relax. He nearly fell asleep as they sat there, vaguely paying attention to the crime show on TV.

            He only became fully aware again when he heard someone clanging around in the kitchen. Knowing how terrible Erwin was at cooking, Eren shrugged out of Levi’s side and downed the rest of his coffee before heading in to make sure the man didn’t destroy anything. He put his empty mug in the sink and turned to see Erwin searching for something.

            “What’re you looking for?” Eren asked, amused at the older man’s incompetence in the kitchen.

            “The bread,” Erwin muttered, still looking around. “I want to make a sandwich.”

            Eren smiled but made sure not to outwardly laugh at the man. “Did you check the breadbox?” He nodded over to where the box rested at the back of one part of the counter.

            “We have one of those?” Erwin asked, going over to the box and opening it. Upon finding that there was indeed bread in there, he looked over at Eren as he took out the loaf. “So we do.”

            Eren gently shoved his way in front of Erwin, saying, “Let me make it for you. I don’t want you to accidentally burn down the building.”

            Erwin stayed close to Eren, hugging him from behind and leaning down to kiss his cheek. “Thank you,” he said. “But I don’t know how I’d manage to burn anything while making a sandwich.”

            “Knowing you, you’d manage it,” Levi said, suddenly appearing in the kitchen, finishing his coffee.

            Eren snickered and took out two pieces of bread from the loaf. He paused then and called over to Levi, “Levi, do you want a sandwich, too?” He figured that since the other man had only had a yogurt so far today he might still be hungry.

            “Sure,” Levi said, leaning against a far counter and watching Erwin make Eren’s job much more difficult by staying behind him and hugging the boy the entire time he was making the two ham sandwiches.

            When he was done, Eren asked Erwin, “So, are you going to let me go so you can eat or are we staying like this?”

            Erwin swayed with Eren in his arms, humming as he thought. “Eh, I think we’ll stay like this,” he ultimately decided, dragging Eren back into the living room and flopping down on the couch with the boy still on his lap, falling to the side because of their poor balance. They both laughed, and by the time Levi came in carrying both sandwiches the two were kissing. He let them be for a moment before he kicked at Erwin’s foot.

            “Oi,” he said, sounding angry even though he wasn’t. “Enough of that. You’re supposed to be eating the sandwich, not Eren.”

            Erwin squeezed Eren tight and looked at Levi with puppy-dog eyes that were unbefitting of such a built man. “Aww,” he complained, though after his whine he released Eren and sat up, reaching to take his sandwich.

            Levi just smirked as he moved to sit on the other side of Eren. “We’ll save him for dessert,” he added, winking at Erwin.

            Eren’s face turned red – he could never get used to Levi saying things like that – and groaned, turning to bury his face in Levi’s lap since it was now conveniently close. Of course, that put him dangerously close to Levi’s crotch, and it didn’t take him more than a few minutes to smile to himself and start mouthing at Levi’s crotch through the man’s loose lounge pants.

            Once Levi caught on to what the boy was doing, he lightly slapped the back of Eren’s head and said, “Hey. Bad boy. Not yet.”

            And _that_ just made Eren’s dick twitch in his pants as he smiled into Levi’s groin.

            Then he heard Erwin chuckle from behind him and he was picked up and settled on the man’s lap.

            “Well, _I’m_ done with lunch, so _I’ll_ get started on dessert,” the man said, bringing Eren in for a kiss that quite soon got hot and heavy.

            Levi tried to keep eating his sandwich calmly and coolly, but after seeing Eren start grinding down on Erwin as the two made out, he’d had enough. He set down his plate that still had a quarter of a sandwich left on the coffee table and stood. He muttered, “You fuckers,” before striding off to the bedroom.

            Erwin and Eren both smirked into their kiss and Erwin stood, Eren still clinging to him, and followed Levi into the bedroom. He nearly threw the boy onto the bed and as soon as Eren was free from Erwin’s lips Levi was on him, crashing his mouth to Eren’s harsh enough that their teeth clacked together, biting at the younger’s lips, nearly violent in his passion. Erwin undressed as the two went at it, not missing that Levi’s shirt was already on the floor. Once he was fully naked he joined the two on the bed, pulling Eren on top of him and essentially trapping the boy between he and Levi. He prompted Eren to take of his shirt as Levi continued to attack his mouth, and when they had to separate to get the t-shirt off Levi growled and started licking and biting at Eren’s chest instead. After his shirt was thrown on the floor, Eren turned his head to capture Erwin’s lips again. Erwin knew that Eren’s neck would start hurting if he kept that position very long so he trailed his lips down Eren’s jaw and to his neck at began to suck marks there.

            Now that his mouth was free, Eren was able to let out a loud moan as Levi sucked at one of his nipples and gave a quick bite. He scrambled to hold onto something to ground him, and his hands ended up tangled in Levi’s hair as the man trailed his lips lower and lower towards the button of Eren’s jeans. Levi brought up his hands to help him undo the button and zipper of the pants and Eren was forced to let go of the man’s hair so that his pants and underwear could be pulled off and thrown to the ground.

            Erwin stopped sucking marks onto Eren’s shoulders to lean over to the end table and get the lube and condoms from the drawer. He handed the bottle of lube to Levi, who was guiding Eren to settle back on the bed and spread his legs. The man slicked up three of his long fingers and teasingly trailed them down Eren’s cock and balls to circle around his entrance. As he watched Levi tease and Eren squirm, Erwin moved to settle behind Levi. He trailed his hands over the smaller man’s chest, tweaking and pinching at his nipples. The man groaned, but remained enough in control of himself to slowly push a finger into Eren’s tight hole. Eren groaned and held onto the bars at the headboard to give himself leverage to push down on Levi’s finger, urging him for more. It didn’t take long for the man to take a hint and insert a second finger. As he began scissoring Eren open, Eren opened his eyes to see that Erwin had captured Levi’s mouth and the two were making out. The sight of that combined with the fingers that Levi just barely brushed over his prostate caused Eren to whimper and say, “Fuck, you guys…”

            Levi looked at Eren through the corner of his eye and smirked at him before inserting another finger, every so often rubbing at the boy’s prostate as he continued to bite and suck at Erwin’s lips and tongue. Levi had always been a violent kisser, but Erwin’s hand in his hair allowed the larger man enough control so that Levi didn’t actually draw blood. They didn’t separate until Eren pushed down hard on Levi’s fingers and growled, “ _Levi.”_

            The man smirked as he pulled away from Erwin to look at Eren, giving the boy’s prostate one last rub before pulling his fingers out. He reached over to take a condom from where Erwin had left them on the bedspread but Eren grabbed his hand before he could take one.

            “No,” was all Eren said quietly, being sure to give Levi his best puppy-dog eyes. He knew Erwin had no qualms about barebacking but Levi was always going on about how much messier it was.

            Levi gave Eren a long hard look, trying to silently get the boy to back down, but eventually he lost to his lover’s too-convincing puppy-dog eyes. He withdrew his hand and lined his member up at Eren’s entrance and muttered something along the lines of, “Disgusting,” before he pushed in.

            Eren moaned long and low as he was filled. Levi rubbed circles into his hips to distract from the slight pain, but they had done this enough before that he was for the most part used to it. While Levi paused after he was fully seated to give Eren time to adjust, the boy noticed Erwin still kneeling behind Levi and watching the two of them. He didn’t miss how the elder’s hand was slowly moving along his own cock, either. Eren reached a hand out to the man and grabbed for him, and Erwin obeyed, moving so he was kneeling next to Eren. The boy pulled him down into a kiss, pushing his hips back on Levi so the other man knew he could start moving, after which his kiss with Erwin became messier with Eren’s body being shoved a little bit by Levi’s hard thrusts.

            Eventually, Eren’s moans distracted him enough from the kiss that Erwin moved his lips away from the boy’s mouth and began sucking a line down Eren’s chest towards his leaking member. Soon enough Erwin took Eren in his mouth and _goddam_ if that man didn’t give the best blowjobs. He knew exactly where to nibble just a bit and how to press his tongue into the slit and could always manage to take him all the way down no problem. It wasn’t long before Eren was clamping his eyes shut in an attempt to stay sane and pulling at Erwin’s hair to get him to back off. He didn’t want to be the first to come, not when he wanted to be fucked by both Levi and Erwin. Knowing that Eren was quirky that way, Erwin backed off, returning to kiss Eren until the boy was once again distracted by his own noises.

            Not wanting to leave Erwin out completely, Eren felt around with his hand until he found the man’s dick and started stroking. His rhythm was messy and he had virtually no technique when he was so overwhelmed, but Erwin appreciated it anyway.

            At this point, Levi was digging his nails into Eren’s hips, his own rhythm faltering as well as he neared his release. Erwin moved to kiss Levi, but the other man had seen that the man’s mouth had recently been on Eren’s dick, and so he pushed the man’s mouth away, leaving Erwin to settle for sucking marks onto Levi’s collar bones. Both he and Eren had gotten used to Levi’s obsession with cleanliness, knowing that they would never get a blowjob from the man unless they were straight out of the shower, and that they wouldn’t be kissed if any of them still had morning breath. It was a part of Levi that they’d come to appreciate over the nearly three years they had been together.

            Eren’s hand dropped Erwin’s dick completely as Levi started thrusting harder, instead gripping the man’s arm for stability. Levi nearly drew blood on Eren’s hips with how tightly his nails were digging in, but the younger never minded. Levi started cursing under his breath, which he only did when he was almost to completion, and he finally thrust one last time into Eren and came with a quiet, “Fuck!”

            Once he had come down from his high, Levi pulled out of Eren, making a face at how his come started to seep out of the boy’s hole. He rolled over to the side to catch his breath for a moment, which allowed Erwin to take his place. The older man was much more gentle in his approach, smoothing his hands over Eren’s sides to calm the boy a bit before lining himself up and leaning over to kiss the boy as he slid in. He went slowly, knowing that he was bigger than Levi and that Eren would need to adjust, so when he pulled away from Eren’s lips and sat up he continued to smooth his hands down the younger’s chest.

            As Eren was still adjusting to Erwin’s size, Levi finished catching his breath and leaned over to kiss at the boy’s chest, taking what Eren considered his own sweet time making his way to a nipple before sucking and gently biting. His hand came up to tweak and pinch the other one, and after just a few moment of that distraction Eren was telling Erwin, “Move.”

            The man started gently, building up to a faster rhythm slowly. He pulled Eren’s legs around his chest and ran his hands along the sensitive skin of the boy’s inner thighs, making Eren moan. The boy reached down to stroke his own cock, but Levi slapped his hand away, instead taking Eren’s member in his own hand. He was much more skilled than Eren’s work on Erwin earlier, and it wasn’t long before Eren was gripping a rail of the headboard in one hand and Levi’s bicep in the other and babbling out nonsense as he neared his release. Levi sped up his hand and added a twist at the head of Eren’s cock and then the boy was coming, Erwin continuing to thrust into Eren’s wonderfully tightening hole, which prompted him to release as well, nearly falling on Levi in the process. He managed to catch himself and pull out of Eren before lying down beside the panting boy. Levi had gotten off the bed to go wash his hands but was soon back with a towel that he laid aside, knowing Eren would be too sensitive to clean up right away.

            Eren had his eyes closed as he caught his breath and he groped blindly for Erwin’s arm, which he pulled over himself in a weak attempt at cuddling. He was too blissed-out to move. He stayed where he was until Erwin pulled him on top of himself and wrapped his arms around the boy. Levi had climbed on the bed, too, and he snuggled into Erwin’s side as best he could. The three of them were perfectly sated and content to settle down for a short nap, leaving cleanup for later time, when maybe they could all take a bath together in their huge tub. Eren found himself smiling into Erwin’s chest and grabbing Levi’s arm to hug like a stuffed animal, very near to falling asleep.

            And then the doorbell rang.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who could possibly be at the door? Who is the surprise visitor?  
> Let's find out!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your kind comments and kudos! It really makes me happy to see that people are enjoying this fic so much (even though I'd probably keep writing it if nobody read it at all because I have these ideas in my head). I probably won't always update this quickly but I've actually got a plot for this story sort-of planned out so hopefully it'll go quicker than my other ones! (Sad laughter in the distance over the things I need to write and schoolwork I need to do.)
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the chapter! As always, my tumblr is downtheupstairs!

Usually after sex there was this nice peaceful bubble of time where Eren could forget who exactly his boyfriends were. Sure, they were still Erwin and Levi, but they weren’t spies. They didn’t have fifteen guns hidden in various spots around the apartment – every once in a while Eren would forget that they were there until he opened a drawer and saw one and had to catch his breath. They didn’t regularly sweep the apartment for bugs or change out their phones if they got the impression that theirs were tapped, which seemed to happen every month or so. They didn’t have Eren always call the cable or electric company if they sent someone over to confirm that they were supposed to be there before he let them in. He didn’t have to randomize which grocery stores he went to so that he didn’t have a regular schedule someone could track. He didn’t have to live in this unnatural paranoia.

But as soon as the doorbell rang, that all came crashing back to him. His bubble was burst and his boyfriends were spies again. Erwin shoved Eren off his chest almost roughly as soon as the sound reached their ears and by the time Eren looked up, both he and Levi had thrown on their pants and were armed with handguns, slowly heading towards the front door of the apartment.

Eren tore the sheet off the bed – it was dirty now anyway – and wrapped it around his waist as he stood up.

Levi glanced back at him when he heard the movement. “Get in the bathroom,” he ordered, turning back to the threat that waited outside the door. Any visitor knew to call first, so to Erwin and Levi anybody who came unannounced was a threat. In their line of work, it was a decent assumption to make.

Still, even though he knew the risk, Eren was not fond of being ordered around like that right after sex, and he was just overall unhappy that his peaceful, no-threats-to-your-life bubble had been burst so abruptly, so he just stomped into the bathroom and shut the door. He closed the toilet lid and sat down and he tried to not be angry at Erwin and Levi for treating him like some little kid. He knew it wasn’t their fault. They just didn’t want him to get hurt or put him into any danger. But even so, Eren had never been a passive person, just sitting by while others did the work. He hated being treated like a damsel in distress. Besides, he couldn’t imagine that what was waiting outside the front door was really a threat to their lives, so he remained for the most part pissed off that his post-coital nap got so rudely interrupted.

It was silent outside for a minute, and Eren imagined Erwin and Levi signaling silently to each other and arranging themselves in front of the door so that they had a good shot at the visitor if they happened to be a threat. He imagined Levi staying back with his gun raised as Erwin looked in the peephole to see that outside it was just-

“Helloooo!”

Of _course_ it was Hanji. Hanji always chose the exact wrong time to come over, and would frequently forget to call first. Eren could faintly hear Levi complaining to Hanji about calling ahead and Hanji blowing Levi off, and when he heard Erwin mention that he was going to “go get Eren,” he decided it was time to stand up and leave by himself. He didn’t need to be fetched like some lady in waiting. He opened the bathroom door just as Erwin entered the bedroom, not caring that Hanji could possibly see him wearing just a sheet around Erwin in the doorway from the other room. He crossed to where his clothes had been thrown on the floor and started dressing, pretending to ignore Erwin in the doorway.

“I was just coming to get you,” Erwin said, not realizing Eren’s foul mood. “It’s just Hanji.”

“I could hear,” Eren said blankly as he pulled on his jeans.

Erwin had entered the room and was putting on his own shirt when he noticed Eren’s attitude. He went over to the boy and put a hand on his arm. “Is something wrong?” he asked.

Eren sighed with his shirt in his hands. He didn’t look up at Erwin. “No… Yes, just…” He didn’t want to get into the ‘you’re-dating-spies-so-you-always-need-to-be-on-high-alert’ argument when they had a visitor. He didn’t want to get into it at all, though it would probably end up coming about later. So he just lightly fudged the truth. “I was looking forward to our nap.”

Realizing it was something that simple, or at least that’s all Eren would admit to at the moment, Erwin chuckled and hugged Eren, who was still holding his shirt. “I know. I’m not too happy about being interrupted, either. At least Hanji didn’t get here just a few minutes earlier, right?”

Eren nodded into Erwin’s chest and the man released him so that he could get dressed. Once the both of them had finished, Erwin grabbed a shirt for Levi and the two of them went into the kitchen, where a disgruntled-looking Levi and an ever-enthusiastic Hanji were sitting. Erwin tossed Levi his shirt and he put it on as Hanji lit up when they saw Eren.

“Eren!” Hanji called, standing and hugging him even though he was still kind of pissed off. Hanji never seemed to care if someone was pissed off. “It’s been so long since I last saw you!”

The boy attempted to smile but it came across more as a grimace, but it didn’t matter because he was still being crushed in Hanji’s arms. “Yeah…” he said weakly. “Um… Would you like some coffee?”

As Hanji accepted and thanked Eren for his very generous offer, Levi muttered in the background about “not letting that monster anywhere near caffeine.” Eren ignored Levi’s comment and he went to go change the grounds and start the coffee maker.

Hanji sat back down and Erwin joined them at the table, asking, “So, Hanji, what brings you over here?”

Levi added, “Unannounced.”

Hanji just smiled at Levi’s snark and said, “Well I heard that Mr. Grumpy here got hurt on last night’s mission and I wanted to make sure he was okay!”

Levi scoffed. “How generous. I’m fine, though.”

Hanji didn’t listen to Levi’s assurance and grabbed the man’s bandaged arm, pulling off the bandage to look at the stitched-up wound as Eren came back to the table with cups of coffee for the four of them. His and Hanji’s were black – “Hanji takes it black like their soul,” Levi had told him the first time he’d offered them coffee – Levi’s had a spoonful of sugar, and Erwin’s just a dash of milk. Eren had learned their coffee orders long ago. He set the mugs down on the table and watched Hanji examine the wound he’d stitched up. He knew that Hanji took care of Erwin and Levi’s – and other spies in whatever organization they worked for – health and was like the team doctor, but he had also overheard them talking about making explosives and poisons a few times when he had been listening in on things he shouldn’t have been. So he didn’t exactly know the extent of Hanji’s job. He didn’t exactly know a lot of things about the organization Erwin and Levi worked for. He didn’t even know its name. But Eren _did_ know that he would not want to be in a twenty-block radius of Hanji with explosives, but that was probably a good trait to have in this line of work. He could definitely see Hanji being able to blow things up.

The doctor – Eren _had_ found out, since Hanji was a little bit more talkative about their work than Erwin and Levi, that Hanji at least had gotten their MD – poked and prodded at Levi’s wound, making the man even more disgruntled. Eren sat down and he and Erwin just observed, sipping their coffees. “This is very nicely stitched, Levi,” Hanji eventually said. They looked at Erwin. “Did you do this?”

Erwin put down his mug and smiled. “No, that was Eren,” he said proudly, putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“Ooh, Eren, you’re getting better!” Hanji exclaimed. Eren had asked Erwin and Levi to teach him how to suture a while back when he felt helpless whenever either of them came back hurt, and after some argument they decided it really couldn’t hurt to know. Hanji had come over and helped him, showing him how to practice on oranges.

Still, Eren wasn’t fond of how much field practice he got, actually stitching up one of his boyfriends. So, even though Hanji had meant it as a compliment, the words stung. “Yeah,” he said with a forced smile. “Thanks.”

Hanji had grabbed their bag and was rustling through it and looked up when they heard Eren’s tone. “What’s got you so down, buttercup?” they asked, still searching for something in their bag. Hanji was like Mary-fucking-Poppins with that bag of theirs. They had everything in there. They eventually pulled out a large bandage and replaced the one they had pulled off Levi’s arm to inspect the wound.

Eren didn’t want to answer Hanji’s question, so he took a sip of his coffee instead. Erwin answered for him when he saw Eren’s evasiveness.

“You may have interrupted an, ah, _intimate_ moment when you arrived,” he said diplomatically.

Hanji got the message and perked up. “Oooh, so you three were in the middle of spanking the monkey, eh?” they motioned between the three of them and made some weird gesture that the others assumed was meant to be something lewd.

“No, but we had just finished,” Levi said, not caring what the doctor knew about their sex life.

“Oooh,” Hanji said. They looked at Eren across the table, who had his head resting on his crossed arms on the table now, and stood up and walked around to the boy. They wrapped their arms around him, once again nearly crushing his ribcage. “I’m sorry, honeybuns! I didn’t know I was interrupting cuddle-time!”

“You would have known if you had called first,” Levi reminded.

Hanji shot Levi a sharp look, still not letting go of Eren. “Well, I’m _sorry_ I was worried about your health and wellbeing!”

“You know we’d call you if it was something serious, Hanji,” Erwin reminded.

Eren gasped for air, still being crushed. “Hanji?” he gasped. The doctor looked down at him questioningly. “Could you let go of me please?”

“Oh!” Hanji exclaimed when they noticed how blue Eren was turning. “Sorry, sweetcheeks!” They let go of him and walked around to their seat at the table as Eren was finally able to breathe again. The four of them sat in relative silence for a minute, just sipping their coffee. Hanji would often begin a sentence but then glance at Eren and stop, knowing that Erwin and Levi tried to keep the boy as detached from their work lives as possible.

Eventually Eren got the hint. He took his mug and stood, saying, “I’ll be in the bedroom.” He grabbed his laptop and headphones from the living room before practically marching off into the bedroom and closing the door behind him. He hated it when things got this way, when everybody tiptoed around him because he was the innocent little kid who wasn’t allowed to know anything. He knew Erwin and Levi did it to keep him safe, but… that didn’t mean it was any less frustrating. And besides, what would be so bad about him knowing what was going on? If anything, it would help put his mind at ease, knowing where Levi and Erwin were and what they would be doing. It had to be better than whatever horrific fantasies his mind conjured up. But no, he had to be kept in the dark about _everything_. He tried not to get jealous of Erwin and Levi, because he knew relationships like theirs didn’t work if one of them was jealous of the other two, but there was just so much more that they knew about each other than he knew about them. As much as Eren tried not to let that get to him, he couldn’t help it sometimes. And when he started thinking that way, the only thing he could do was try to ignore it. He laid down on the bed, which still reeked of their recent activities, and opened his laptop, deciding that what he really needed to do right now is play some violent videogames.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, non-binary Hanji. It's my favorite kind of Hanji. Also, I'm going to try to have Hanji call Eren a different unique nickname each time they call him one. Not sure if I'll manage to not repeat any, but I'm going to try.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know things are bad when Hanji is the voice of reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today on "I didn't mean for there to be so much angst!" - This fic.  
> Well, the three of them are pretty emotionally constipated.  
> Yeah, so... angst. Whoopsie not whoopsie.
> 
> It you have any ideas on how to emotionally devastate our boys further (though I do have plenty of plans, don't worry), you can leave them in the comments or talk to me on tumblr at downtheupstairs.
> 
> Also, thank you all for your lovely comments it makes me so happy really I love you all <3
> 
> (One last comment, this is the last one, I swear: if you ever see a huge mistake, particularly if it's with Hanji's pronouns, please let me know. I try to read through and edit to make sure it's all correct, but this isn't beta read, and mistakes happen. Just kindly let me know if you wouldn't mind :D)

Hanji settled back in their chair after the door to the bedroom shut. They looked from Erwin to Levi, wondering if either of them was going to say something about what was up with Eren. And something definitely was definitely up with Eren. Hanji knew that it wasn’t something to just bring up blatantly, though. That may be Hanji’s preferred way of changing subjects, but it would cause Erwin and Levi to just shut down. This required a subtler approach.

“So,” Hanji said, running a finger around the rim of their coffee mug. “How did last night’s mission go?”

“Fine,” Erwin said.

“You would have heard if it’d gone otherwise, wouldn’t you?” Levi added. Both he and Erwin could tell Hanji was trying to get at something, but they didn’t know what.

“Did you get the disk?”

Ah, of course Hanji would want to know about the disk. Hanji may not be the resident computer expert, but they still had a fascination with hacking.

“Of course,” Levi said, getting annoyed with questions Hanji should already know the answers to.

“Well, I mean, not _everything_ went to plan now did it, Levi?” Hanji asked, leaning forward and eying the bandage on the man’s arm.

“We may have had a close call with some guards getting out of there,” Erwin explained.

Hanji raised an eyebrow upon hearing that it was just security guards and gave Erwin a meaningful look.

“Hey, you don’t know the kind of security they have there,” Erwin said in defense of his and Levi’s skill. “That place is Fort Knox.”

“Whatever you say,” Hanji responded. “We could have gone with my plan and blown the place up.”

“Yeah,” Levi said sarcastically, “And we could have learned absolutely nothing about them other than that one of their safehouses looks pretty going down in flames.”

Hanji shrugged, knowing that Levi was right. There had been a reason they hadn’t gone with the doctor’s plan, after all. “So do you have it here or did you get it to boss?”

“Are you kidding?” Levi asked, his voice low and harsh. “Of course we wouldn’t keep it here, you know why we couldn’t!” He eyed the bedroom door, and both Hanji and Erwin followed his gaze.

Hanji chewed their bottom lip, leaning back in their chair. “About that,” they said slowly. Levi and Erwin’s eyes turned cold as they landed on the doctor. “You know you can’t keep on like this, right?”

Levi scoffed and sat back in his chair, taking a long sip of his coffee. It was made just like way he liked it. Eren always made it perfectly, the damn brat.

Erwin had a more mature response, though not at all more open to this line of conversation. “It’s the only way to keep him safe, Hanji,” he said, speaking quieter even though he was fairly sure Eren wasn’t listening in.

“How can you be sure, though?” Hanji asked. “How can you be sure him not knowing anything is keeping him any safer than if he did know something? Do you think the Titans will care if he doesn’t actually know anything? If anybody you’ve got against you will? Sure, it’ll waste their time interrogating him but it won’t stop them from trying to take him!”

Levi slammed his hands on the table. “He will _not_ be taken, Hanji,” he growled. “We’re making sure he’s protected and watching his back at all-“

“And it’s killing him, you guys!” Hanji interrupted loudly. “I know that you can see it! He can’t stand living like this!” The three of them looked to the bedroom door to make sure there was no movement in response to Hanji practically yelling. Hearing no movement, the doctor went on more quietly, “Eren is not somebody you can treat like some stereotypical fifties housewife who stays at home and does the cooking and follows whatever her husband tells her without a single actual thought in her head.”

Erwin tried to cut in. “We don’t-“

But Hanji just held up a hand and kept on the tirade. “Eren is a lot stronger than either of you would like to admit. And no matter what you do, your very existences are putting him in danger. So get the fuck used to it and stop pushing him away. You’re just hurting yourselves and him.”

Levi and Erwin were silent for a while, looking at their coffee mugs like chastised children.

“It’s not like we’re treating him like a kid,” Levi finally said in defense. “I took him to the shooting range, taught him how to use a gun.”

“And then I took him there again so he would actually learn rather than be yelled at the whole time,” Erwin added with a smirk. Levi glared at the man. “You’ve never been a very good teacher, Levi,” Erwin reminded. Hanji nodded in agreement.

“Whatever,” Levi said. “Point is, we’re making sure he’s protected.”

“And how exactly are you doing that?” Hanji asked. “By sending him off to his room so the grown ups can talk business? Think about if you were in his position, Levi.”

Erwin and Levi both sat back in their chairs, and Levi slumped a bit. After a long minute of trying to figure out a defense, Levi let out a breath and said, “Crap.” It was the closest anyone would ever get to Levi admitting he was wrong.

“What other option do we have, Hanji?” Erwin asked. “Most of this stuff is Need to Know and I don’t think the boss will consider this necessary.”

“Well, obviously you can’t tell him _everything_ but you could tell him _something_ ,” Hanji said. “And you could stop making him think he’s going to be jumped every time he forgets to look over his shoulder. Stop making him change which stores he goes to, having him tell you whenever he leaves or arrives someplace so you know he got there safely. And _definitely_ stop having him under surveillance at work. It’s the one place he feels somewhat normal but he _knows_ you’re having people watch him.”

“And how do _you_ know this?” Levi asked.

Hanji sat up straighter in their seat. “Eren and I talk.”

“You do?” Erwin asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“Yes,” Hanji replied. “I would have thought you’d have bugged his phone and known already, but I see at least you’re not at that point yet.” Levi wisely chose not to mention that he had seriously considered doing just that not too long ago. “Sometimes Eren needs someone to talk to about how frustrating you two are. And since you don’t allow him to tell his other friends anything about you other than that you exist,” they gave Erwin and Levi each a pointed look, “He and I sometimes have coffee or lunch while you two are gallivanting around the city, ignoring him.”

“We do _not_ ignore him!” Levi argued, voice rising.

“Okay, fine, not _ignore,_ ” Hanji allowed. “While you two are… keeping him out of the loop, let’s say.”

“We don’t have any other choice,” Erwin said.

“Of _course_ you do,” Hanji said. “Just none of your other options are very easy. You could always go against orders, tell Eren what he wants to know. You could leave the job, though that doesn’t really take care of the people who would still be after you either way. You could see if Eren would be able to join the organization.” Erwin and Levi each shot Hanji a very dark look. “He’s strong-willed, determined; I could see him being an asset,” Hanji explained, before ending the list of options with the one Erwin and Levi would least want to hear. “Or you could break up with him. Let him live his own life without all this paranoia.”

Before any of them could blink, Levi was holding Hanji by the front of their shirt and glaring daggers into their eyes. “Don’t even _suggest_ that,” he growled.

“I’m just saying that it _is_ an option!” Hanji said.

Erwin stood and walked behind Levi, gently taking hold of the man’s wrists and prompting him to let go of the doctor. “Levi,” he said calmly, even though he was just as disturbed at the thought of breaking up with Eren as Levi was. Levi relented and let go of Hanji, shrugging Erwin off as well to sit back in his seat. Erwin sat down as well once he knew Levi wasn’t going to attempt murder.

“We cannot make that decision for him,” Erwin said, trying to be the reasonable one even though just the hypothetical situation hurt. “We can’t tell him that he’d be happier without us. If that is true,” he paused to make sure his voice wouldn’t crack and his face wouldn’t show any emotion. “Then it is something he would have to decide on his own. Though he would still be in danger the rest of his life, simply for having associated with us before.”

Levi had folded up in his seat, shins resting against the edge of the table as he put his crossed arms on his knees. He refused to be a part of this discussion anymore.

“You’re right,” Hanji admitted. “You really have screwed up his whole life.” Erwin and Levi glared again and Hanji held up their hands in surrender. “Sorry. And I’m sorry for suggesting that you break up with him. I just want you two to know that things can’t keep going the way they are.”

It was silent then as the three of them finished their coffees. “I should get going,” Hanji said once they were done, standing from the table. They knew as long as they stayed the mood would remain sour, so instead Hanji headed for the bedroom door and knocked. “Eren?” they called.

It took a minute for Eren to move his things away and open the door. “Yeah?” he asked when he finally did.

“I’m heading out now,” Hanji responded.

“Okay.” Eren returned the hug that Hanji gave him this time, even though he still thought the doctor may have cracked a few ribs with how sufficatingly-tight these hugs had been. “See you later,” Eren added in a wheeze when he was finally released from the hug.

“Bye!” Hanji called as they grabbed their bag and left.

Erwin stood to redo the locks on the door once the doctor had left. Eren remained in the doorway to the bedroom, leaning on the doorframe. Levi grabbed the empty mugs from the table and went to put them in the dishwasher.

“Did you finish your coffee?” Levi asked Eren, remembering the boy had taken his mug into the room earlier.

“Yeah,” Eren said. “Yeah, hold on.” He went back in the bedroom to grab his mug and close his computer, not caring that he was in the middle of a game. He was just replaying a level he’d played before, anyway, so he didn’t care about saving. He went into the kitchen and handed Levi his mug and observed his two boyfriends for a minute. Levi, who was putting the mugs in the dishwasher even more particularly than he usually was. Erwin, who was shuffling through yesterday’s mail pile as if there was something more interesting in it than bills and catalogs. “So,” Eren said slowly. “Everything ok?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Levi answered, just a bit too quickly. Erwin kept going through the mail.

Eren rolled his eyes, annoyed that he was being lied to again. “Whatever,” he said, and he didn’t care that he was being passive aggressive. He walked through the living room and got his shoes from the coat closet, sliding them on without bothering to tie them correctly. He checked his pocket for his phone and grabbed his wallet and keys from the drawer of the table by the door. “I’m going to Armin’s,” he announced as he opened the door, and he didn’t look back as he let it slam shut behind him, even though he knew Erwin would be back there in a second to redo the locks. He just took the stairs down to the ground floor, got into his car, and drove away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Protip: Drunk videogaming is a great way to distract yourself from relationship problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not super happy with the end of this chapter, but whatever, I want to post it.
> 
> I keep saying the updates are going to slow down, because I keep thinking they will, but then I keep writing this instead of doing my actual homework. Which is a problem. That I should probably work on.  
> Though I did actually write my research paper proposal that's due tomorrow, and I'm pretty excited to write the paper. It's about disability representation in film and television and... well, I'm not going to waste your time talking about it. You're here to read some gay threesome angst. (But if you want to know more about it you can ask me on tumblr at downtheupstairs)
> 
> So here you go.
> 
> Also thank you for your comments and kudos and bookmarks and I love each and every one of you and hope you find five dollars on the ground tomorrow.

He was being a bit immature, he knew that. But sometimes he was allowed to be immature. If he was going to be treated like a kid, why not act like one? Eren had only gotten a few blocks away when he remembered that Armin would be at work. Hell, Armin was _always_ at work or in class, but that’s what he got for trying to pay his way through med school. He could call Mikasa and see if she was available, but she would definitely notice he was upset and wouldn’t let him out of her sights until she knew what was wrong, and it wasn’t exactly like Eren could tell her. Eren pulled into a convenience store parking lot as he tried to figure out where he would go. He took out his phone and was at least a little mollified by the fact that Erwin and Levi hadn’t tried calling him yet, demanding he come back. He went through his contacts. Most of them would be free; it was a Saturday afternoon, after all.

He ended up calling Sasha and Connie, since they wouldn’t ask any questions and would just be fun to hang around with. They were, as he’d suspected, free, and told Eren to come over. The two shared a small apartment on the other side of town, and had been living together since the second year of college. There was an awkward year where nobody wanted to ask if they were together or just good friends, and nobody could figure it out, but eventually Mikasa was the brave one and asked. They were together, and Armin had won ten bucks from Eren in the bet.

When Eren got out of his car in front of Sasha and Connie’s apartment, he looked at his phone again, which had remained silent the whole way there, and debated if he should tell Levi and Erwin his change of plans and that he had gotten there safely. He knew it was a bit petty, and that by not texting them he was just making them worry, but he decided that he was a grown up and didn’t need to check in with them all the time. So he pocketed his phone and went up to his friends’ apartment.

The afternoon consisted of videogames – Connie nearly broke a controller during Super Smash Bros. – high-calorie snacks – Sasha had shown Eren the culinary orgasm that is melted chocolate chips on popcorn (he would feel too fat eating something like that in front of his fitness-nut, clean-freak boyfriends) – and beer. Lots of cheap beer. Ymir and Christa came over later and they all had pizza for dinner. Eren didn’t notice his phone buzzing in his pocket over his amazement at Sasha devouring and entire pie by herself. That girl may have been on the track team all through college, but everyone agreed that she would be awesome at competitive eating. (Sasha didn’t like competitive eating, though; food, to her, was supposed to be fun, not sport.) By the time most of them were drunk off their asses and annoyed at Christa for being so damn good at Mario Kart – she was good, but it was even easier playing against a bunch of drunk people when she only had one beer the whole night – it was already ten o’clock.

Christa offered to drive Eren home, since he was decently wasted, so Eren decided he’d worry about picking up his car tomorrow. It wasn’t anywhere it’d get towed, so he didn’t find it in him to care about it at the moment and just graciously accepted Christa’s generosity. The girl dropped him off at the door to the apartment complex, and Eren made it up the elevator and to the door on his own, only swaying a little bit.

They keys were a bit more difficult, however. He had trouble figuring out which one when where – why did they need four different locks on their door, anyway? – so he fumbled around for a minute trying to get it right.

He ended up not having to, though, because the door was opened for him and he was immediately engulfed in Erwin’s arms. The man kept hugging Eren as he backed them into the apartment so he could close the door behind him, and Eren was enough out of it that he allowed himself to be practically dragged.

“Where were you?” Erwin asked, releasing Eren from his grasp. Eren’s drunk ears couldn’t tell if the man sounded more relieved or angry.

“I was,” Eren said, furrowing his brow in concentration. He didn’t even question that they had known he wasn’t at Armin’s. They probably had imbedded a GPS tracker in his skin sometime when he was asleep. Or they just tried contacting Armin to make sure Eren got there all right. They’d done that before. He tried to form a whole sentence about where he had been, and failed. “Sasha and Connie’s.”

“You said you were going to Armin’s,” Eren heard from Levi, who he saw leaning tensely against the wall of the living room.

Eren began taking his shoes off and putting his things away. He wanted to get to bed. He was tired. “He was at work,” Eren explained, not noticing just how upset Erwin and Levi were. “I forgot that when I told you.”

“Why didn’t you text us and tell us where you were going when your plans changed?” Erwin asked.

Eren took a moment to focus his eyes on Erwin’s face, realizing how angry he was. The boy chuckled and leaned into Erwin’s chest, since he was still right in front of him, looking up at his face and smiling. “Don’t like it when people don’t tell you things, do you?” he asked, bringing a finger up to boop Erwin’s nose. He then pulled away and waddled off to the bedroom. The sober part of him was proud for finally giving Erwin and Levi a taste of how he always feels. The drunk part of him wanted to sleep and was glad that Erwin and Levi didn’t seem to be stopping him. He flopped face-first onto the bed, not caring that he was still completely dressed or that the lights in the room were on. He just allowed himself to drift off to sleep.

He didn’t get to sleep for long, though. Somebody was turning him over and tugging his shirt over his head, which was enough for him to groggily wake. “Wha-?” he managed to ask, opening his eyes enough to see that Levi was the one trying to undress him.

“I’m just getting you ready for bed, brat, don’t worry about it,” Levi said, though even in his sleepy state Eren could tell the man’s voice didn’t have the same bite to it that it usually did.

As Levi tried to wriggle the pants off an unhelpful Eren, Erwin came in and sat on the bed. The man stroked Eren’s hair lightly, and the younger subconsciously turned into the touch, nearly asleep again. “We were really worried about you, Eren,” Erwin eventually said.

Eren cracked his eyes open to squint at the man, but it was too bright for him to open his eyes properly. “Well, I worry about you, too,” he replied.

Erwin just sighed and took his hand away from Eren’s hair. “At least tell us you didn’t drive home.”

Eren actually did open his eyes this time, for the sole purpose of rolling them at Erwin. “I’m not an idiot. Christa drove me home.” He closed his eyes again to resume drifting off. “Christa’s a good driver. She can even drive Rainbow Road.”

Levi and Erwin shared confused looks. Eren didn’t have to have his eyes open to know that the older men wouldn’t get it. “God, you’re so _old_ ,” he said, turning over onto his stomach. Levi tried to pull him up so his head was actually by the headboard where the pillows were. “Rainbow Road is in Mario Kart. It’s a game.”

“But she drove you back in a real car, right?”

Eren sighed. “ _Yes_. Geez, I’m not stupid, now let me sleep.”

Erwin and Levi worked together to get Eren’s body actually under the covers instead of on them, and by the time they had succeeded, Eren’s breathing had evened out and the boy had fallen back asleep.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After ensuring that Eren was tucked in tight, Erwin and Levi turned off the light in the bedroom and went back into the living room. Erwin sat down on the couch and Levi curled up on his lap, which he did to Eren and Erwin whenever he got the chance. Sometimes being the smallest of them all was an advantage.

“What are we going to do?” Erwin asked once they were settled.

“I mean, I guess we could do what Hanji suggested,” Levi offered.

Erwin was startled. “You don’t mean-“

“No!” Levi cut in. “Not that. I mean about the not being so protective.”

“Yeah,” Erwin agreed. “Aururo will be glad to not have to waste his day hanging around Eren’s work.”

“That was a stupid idea in the first place,” Levi said. “You’re the one who came up with it.”

“You agreed,” Erwin reminded him.

“Whatever. So we’ll tell him he can stop. What else? That’s probably not enough.”

“Well, I suppose we don’t need him to tell us where he is every time he goes somewhere else…”

“You know,” Levi said, nuzzling into Erwin’s chest as he stifled a yawn. “Talking about this all out loud makes us sound a lot creepier than I had thought we were.”

“It really does.”

They were silent for a few minutes and Erwin almost thought Levi was asleep when the smaller suddenly said, “We should tell him more, also. About us.”

“What do you mean?” Erwin asked. “You know we can’t-“

“Not about our current job. But we can tell him about past ones. I don’t see how that could really hurt.”

“Unless the past comes back to haunt us, which it always tends to do.”

Levi stared at a random spot on the sofa. “It would be worth it. If it means keeping Eren,” he said quietly.

Erwin wanted to respond, to say that Eren wouldn’t leave them over something like this, but he knew that the words wouldn’t be true, so he stopped them before they came out of his mouth. Instead, he kissed Levi’s head and said nothing.

They sat there in silence for a few more minutes before Levi yawned again.

“We should go to bed,” Erwin said. So they stood and brushed their teeth and changed their clothes and got into bed, cuddling up to Eren from either side as they drifted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christa is definitely the best of the 104th at videogames. Hands down. She will destroy you.
> 
> Also I kind of want to write a short thing about the whole are-they-a-couple deal with Connie and Sasha. Yea or nay?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin's helpless in the kitchen. Eren's hungover. They all have the dreaded "Talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very sick and it sucks a lot. So parts of this chapter aren't the greatest, and I'm not super happy with the ending, but whatever. I feel like Eren's getting a bit ooc, but I have plans to get him back into character. I mean, obviously he's kind of different because he didn't have the same horrific past where he saw his mom get eaten by a titan and all, but still. He'll get there eventually.
> 
> Once again, thanks so much for the kudos and comments <333333

Erwin woke, as usual, at six o’ clock in the morning. Today he actually got out of bed at that time, like he usually tried to, because he had a routine. He would go to the gym, come back, shower, and by then Eren would have woken up and made breakfast so that Erwin wouldn’t burn down the building in his attempts. But when he got back that day, there was no breakfast ready. He was confused for a moment before remembering the events of the night before. As he stood in the kitchen wondering how to use the coffee maker – normally it was already made, but Eren must have not set it up to brew the night before like he usually did – Levi walked in, freshly showered. Erwin had heard the shower going in the other room and had debated waiting for coffee until whoever it was – though he assumed it was Levi – finished, but his caffeine addiction was too strong. So instead, Levi walked in on Erwin holding the coffee machine above his head and reading the warning labels on the bottom of it.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Levi asked as he walked over.

“Trying to make coffee,” Erwin answered, still reading the bottom of the machine. “Why doesn’t it come with instructions?”

“Because everybody fucking knows how to make coffee, you idiot,” Levi said. He debated reaching up to grab the machine from him but realized he wouldn’t be able to grab it – fucking giant. So instead he settled on adding, “Put that thing down.”

Erwin complied, and Levi shoved him out of the way so he could properly make the coffee. The older man observed what Levi did, but none of it stuck in his mind. Honestly. He could pick up a new language in just under a month, but he couldn’t remember how to use a coffee maker.

At least he got his coffee in the end, though, once Levi had let it brew and poured them each a cup. Erwin added his milk – Levi didn’t remember to, since Eren usually made the coffee – and took the first sip and was finally able to relax a bit. He really should do something about this caffeine addiction.

It was then that the two spies heard a groan from the bedroom. They went to go check on Eren, who was now sitting up in bed with a hand over his eyes to shield him from the light coming in the window.

“Good morning,” Levi said.

Eren gave him the finger and flopped back down, burying his head in a pillow as he said, “Fuck you.”

Erwin chuckled. “A little hungover?”

“Fuck you too,” Eren said, his voice muffled in the pillow. But then he shot up again and hurtled out of bed into the bathroom, from which Erwin and Levi heard the hungover boy throwing up.

Levi grimaced and headed back out of the bedroom. “You take care of it,” he said to Erwin before going to the living room.

Erwin sighed and headed into the bathroom. He tried to comfort Eren through the rest of his hangover nausea and helped clean him up when he was finished, nodding along as Eren swore he would never drink again even though he knew that wasn’t true. Every time Eren started drinking he would forget how bad his hangovers get.

After about half an hour, Eren was all cleaned up and ready to face the day with a terrible headache, so he and Erwin headed out of the bathroom – Eren snagged a couple Motrin on the way out – and into the kitchen, where Eren practically lunged for the coffee maker, glad to see that there was already some made. He poured himself a mug and started drinking it quickly as Levi came back into the kitchen.

“Feeling better?” Levi asked, and Eren thought it was weird that Levi wasn’t insulting him and telling him that he had better scrub the bathroom clean later. Then he remembered more about what had happened, about his walking out in anger and then later trying to give them a taste of their own medicine. He wasn’t sure how to react. Part of him instinctually wanted to apologize for making them worry, but he held his tongue. He still felt like his actions were justified.

So Eren just stood there for a minute before remembering that the question wasn’t about why he walked out or said what he did, it was about if he was feeling better. “Yeah,” he finally said. “Yeah.”

Levi nodded and took a sip of his own coffee. The three of them stood there for a few minutes, just sipping their coffee as they didn’t look at each other. Eventually Levi finishes his coffee and puts his mug in the sink, after which he puts a hand on Eren’s arm and pulls the younger down for a kiss. Eren’s surprised for a moment and then relaxes into the gentle kiss right before Levi pulls away, saying, “Living room.” Eren doesn’t think he’s ever heard Levi as nervous as he was when he said those two words, and even though he’s confused, he follows the order and the three of them file into the room. Erwin sets his coffee down on a coaster and sits on the couch, and Eren does the same with his mug before sitting next to the man and relaxing into his side. Levi waits until the two are settled before crawling onto Eren’s lap, letting the younger hold him around the waist to keep him there. It’s a comfortable position, the three of them cuddled together, but Eren can feel the unease clouding the room. Something was up, and he wanted to know what it was.

“So…” Eren said when neither of his boyfriends began talking.

Erwin cleared his throat. “Levi and I have realized that we’ve been… a little overprotective-“ Eren scoffed at the ‘little,’ but Erwin kept on, “and unfair to you, and we recognize that we can’t keep being that way without you being unhappy.”

Eren mulled this over. He wondered how they were actually planning on changing things. “And?” he asked after a minute.

“And,” Levi said. “We’re not going to make you tell us everywhere you’re going.”

Eren waited a moment. “Is that it?”

Levi thought about adding in that they wouldn’t have him under surveillance at work anymore, but even though Hanji said Eren knew about it, it wasn’t something that had ever been brought up between them so he decided not to mention that they were stopping it. Instead, he kept his mouth closed and allowed Erwin to introduce the next part.

“We also don’t want to keep so much from you anymore. We can’t… we can’t tell you about our current job, but we’ll try to answer any other questions you have about… about what we do.”

One question immediately jumped to Eren’s tongue, but as he opened his mouth to say it he wondered if he really wanted the answer. He wasn’t sure, so he didn’t ask it. He knew Erwin and Levi saw him close his mouth after almost saying something, but neither of them asked him what it was he hadn’t asked. It took Eren some time to think of something Erwin and Levi would be able to answer, but his boyfriends gave him the time. “How,” Eren began, and he had to clear his throat. “How did you guys get into… this?” It seemed wrong to say the actual word aloud for some reason.

Erwin looked at Levi to see if he would answer the question, but he saw how Levi had stiffened and was staring at a spot on the wall. Eren noticed, as well, and wondered if he had already crossed some line. He was only reassured once Erwin began to answer.

“It wasn’t that exciting for me,” he said. “I’ve told you that I come from a military family, right?” Eren nodded, though in his position he couldn’t fully look at Erwin. “When I was eighteen, I enlisted, and later I was picked out of training and offered a job where I am now. I agreed, they trained me, and here I am.”

“So, you work for the government?” Eren asked.

Erwin sucked in a deep breath as he contemplated how much he could tell. Eventually he exhaled and answered, “Yes. But not a part that most people have heard of.”

Eren could tell that by ‘most people’ Erwin meant ‘you.’ He could also tell that he wasn’t going to get the name of the organization, so he moved to another question. “Why did you say yes?”

Erwin laughed a bit at that. “That’s a good question,” he said, scratching his chin with the hand that wasn’t around Eren. “Part of it was because I wanted to serve my country.” It was Levi’s turn to scoff, but again Erwin kept going. “Part of it was the pay – it’s a lot nicer than what I’d get if I’d stayed where I was. And part of it was… well, who doesn’t want to be a spy? It seemed… glamorous.”

“Seemed?”

“Well, there was a bit more being holed up in caves than I’d thought there would be. And most of the time you don’t get to walk away as the building explodes behind you like they do in the movies. Most of the time you’re running, trying not to get hit by debris.”

The image of Erwin and Levi getting caught up in an explosion caused the breath to hitch in Eren’s throat. Erwin noticed, and leaned down to press a kiss on Eren’s head. “You know we’ve made it out alright each time,” he murmured.

Eren stayed still and tried not to sound as worried as he was when he said, “Except when you come home late with new scars or bullet holes.”

“But we’re each still in one piece, right Eren?” Erwin tried to assure him.

Eren didn’t respond. He didn’t want to go down this hole again. This was a conversation they’d had before, and it never went anywhere good. It just became an issue of yes, they’ve always come home all right before, but that didn’t guarantee that they always would, and after that was brought up nobody had anything else to say. So Eren didn’t want to go down that road. Instead, he shifted his focus to Levi. “What about you, Levi?” he asked, trying to get rid of the tightness in his throat. “How did you get started?” He already knew that Levi had had a tough childhood, but they never really talked much about it. It was a sensitive topic, but Erwin knew all about it, and they said they’d answer Eren’s questions, and he wanted to know.

Levi shifted in Eren’s arms, keeping his face hidden from Eren and Erwin. He was quiet for so long that Eren was about to repeat the question for fear that Levi hadn’t heard it the first time when the man began to answer. “I was in with a bad crowd when I was a teen,” he said stiffly. “Erwin and his team were working on something involving that crowd. It came down to either I helped them out or I get thrown in jail for the rest of my life, so obviously I chose to help them out. I didn’t actually give a fuck about most of the people I was hanging around with. So I helped them out and saved this idiot’s life,” Levi jabbed a thumb back at Erwin. “And he was stupid enough to ask me to join them. It was that or jail, and this came with dental.”

Eren had a lot of questions. He wanted to know what this group was. He wanted to know what Levi had done that would have gotten him thrown in jail for life. He wanted to know how he saved Erwin’s life. He wanted to know why he hadn’t known that Erwin was the reason Levi was who he was today. That last part was what hurt the most. He had known the two had a past, and he’d accepted that, but it went back a lot further than he had thought. He tried not to let it get to him. He knew now, at least, and that’s what matters. They were opening up, and Eren knew he wouldn’t like everything he heard, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to know it.

He was quiet for so long that Erwin furrowed his brows and looked down at him and asked, “Is that all you wanted to know?”

“No,” Eren immediately responded, shaking his head. “I just… I’m trying to…” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath and asked the question that had been eating at him since the beginning of this conversation. “Have you ever killed anybody?”

Erwin and Levi froze and when Erwin eventually answered, he sounded afraid of what his answer would bring. “Yes,” he said simply, and he moved his arm off of Eren and Levi shifted his weight so that if Eren wanted to get away from them he could.

But Eren didn’t move. He kept his eyes closed and let out a breath he’d been holding, before he shut his eyes even tighter and struggled for a minute to find the words to his next question. “Were they…” he began, and he stopped to figure out the rest of the sentence before beginning again. “Have you ever… killed… an innocent person?” He hated the way his voice was shaking, and he still wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer, but he knew that he needed to know.

Erwin took a deep breath before he answered. “Not on purpose.” Eren relaxed slightly at the words, because even though it was a ‘yes,’ it confirmed Erwin’s good intentions.

He then realized that Levi hadn’t answered. “Levi…?” Eren asked, again afraid of the answer.

Levi was silent before answering this question as well. Eren could barely feel him breathing in his arms he was so still. But he eventually said, “Not on purpose since I started this job.”

Eren thought of all the implications of that answer. Levi had killed at least one innocent person on purpose in his life. Eren thought about asking how many, but that was a question he didn’t need to know the answer to, and he wasn’t sure Levi would answer it anyway. It also meant that both he and Erwin had killed innocent people by accident. He wondered how you could just kill somebody by accident, somebody who had a life and a family and had done nothing wrong, and keep doing the job that caused that to happen. He wanted to ask them how they lived with themselves. But he had heard the regret in their voices, and he knew that question would cut too deep. They may be allowing him to ask questions, but that didn’t mean he should ask them all.

So instead he let it be silent for a few minutes. His coffee was going cold on the table, but he didn’t want to move and disrupt the hold he had on Levi or move from his place leaning into Erwin’s side. They were all just lost in their thoughts as Eren tried to find another question, one that he knew he wanted answered, and before he found one he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Levi’s still-tense shoulder. He kept his forehead resting there as he thought about what he wanted to know.

Eventually he found a question. “Are there good parts?” he asked quietly. “To doing what you do?”

The atmosphere instantly relaxed. Erwin put his arm back around Eren and Levi leaned back into Eren’s chest.

“There are,” Erwin answered. “The travel. If you’re not in a cave in the jungle you’re usually at a pretty high-end hotel and eating a five-star restaurants. It’s pretty nice for a work trip, until you get to the… well, the work.” He chuckled.

Levi turned his head to look back at Eren. “And like we’ve said, the pay.”

Erwin put his feet up on the coffee table and ignored the glare Levi sent his way. “There’s also the fact that in the end we’re going good. We’re helping people, most of the time, or our country.”

Eren nodded slowly. It did sound pretty nice. But then again, they also had to live with the guilt of killing innocent people. So Eren wasn’t sure how he felt about the whole thing. “Could you tell me about some of your past… missions? Is that what they’re called?” He kind of felt like he was asking his parents to tell him the story of how they first met. It felt a bit forced to ask it, but he was sure he’d hear some interesting story. That is, if they would answer that.

Apparently, they would. After Erwin said that yes, they could be called missions or jobs, he and Levi spent the afternoon telling Eren about several of the ones they’d been on together. They didn’t always work jobs together, Levi said, though most of the time now they did because they didn’t travel as much. But they mostly told Eren about ones they’d worked together, and they told him about funny things that had happened or times when they’d been able to see personally how they helped people. Eren was sure they were picking their stories carefully. They were focusing on the positives – on the time they kept a drug lord from decimating a village in Colombia; on the time they saved a diplomat from being killed in a terrorist attack by preventing the attack completely; on the time they’d hunted down and put an end to a sex trafficking ring in Taiwan. Eren was sure there were gritty details that they were leaving out or brushing over, but he didn’t mind. He didn’t need to know that stuff. What he needed to know was the way that Erwin and Levi laughed together at jokes they had between them, how they poked fun at the other’s actions on a particular mission, how they sighed in fond memory of times they had shared together that Eren could barely begin to comprehend.

He liked hearing these stories. He did. Erwin and Levi were more relaxed and open with him as they were sitting there on the couch than they had ever been around Eren before, save for during or just after sex. It was nice to hear them laughing and that they actually enjoyed the job they so often risked their lives for. But it also made Eren feel like a new friend intruding on two old ones catching up. There were things he would never be able to understand, no matter how honest Erwin and Levi were with him. He had known that before, but until now he’d never felt so… boring. Erwin and Levi had been all over the world, had faced death multiple times and had saved the day more than once. Eren was just a kid who’d gone to college and got a degree and then couldn’t find a job to use it for so he’d ended up working at a bookstore. He knew Erwin and Levi would get angry at him if he said it aloud, but he felt like a nobody. He felt so unaccomplished and he was struck by a sudden fear of never being enough for them, of never being interesting enough.

Of course, Eren’s carefully blank expression and fake laughs didn’t go unnoticed. It was only a matter of time before Levi turned to straddle Eren’s hips and get a good look at his face. He was trying to appear happy, but even without being so well trained to read people Levi would have noticed the broken-hearted look in Eren’s eyes.

“Eren,” Levi said, getting the boy to focus on him. “What is it?” He cupped Eren’s cheek with one of his hands, and Eren just turned his face away from it, turned his eyes away from Levi, and stared at the coffee table and his cold cup of coffee.

“It’s nothing,” Eren said, and when he felt Levi’s glare and knew that he’d be berated because it obviously wasn’t nothing, he amended, “It’s stupid.”

Erwin turned in his seat to face the boy and wrapped his other hand around Eren’s waist as well as the one already there and held him close from behind, leaning down to place a kiss on Eren’s neck. “It’s bothering you, so it’s not stupid,” he said. When Eren still didn’t talk, he added, “Please?”

Eren sighed. “It’s just…” He still felt it was idiotic to doubt them this way, but he said what he was feeling anyway. He didn’t meet Erwin or Levi’s eyes the entire time he spoke. “You guys have all this… history, and your lives are so exciting and everything and then it’s like… who am I, right? I’m just this boring college graduate who couldn’t get a real job.”

“You’re right,” Levi said after a moment. “That is stupid.”

“Levi,” Erwin said quietly in warning.

“No,” Levi said to Erwin. He put a hand on Eren’s face and forced the boy to look at him. “We know who you are, Eren, and even if your life is boring, don’t you think if we wanted something different we wouldn’t be here?” Eren opened his mouth to speak but Levi cut him off. “You knew Erwin and I had a history, and maybe now you know a bit more about it, but that doesn’t change how we feel about you. These things that we’ve told you today, we’ve never told anybody outside the organization. We went against orders and told you because we didn’t want to risk losing you, not to make you feel worse.”

“Levi and I may have a past,” Erwin added once Levi was finished. “But the three of us have a future, and that’s what matters.”

Eren looked as if he was seriously considering that for a moment, and then he looked a bit constipated, and then he finally burst out laughing, genuinely confusing and worrying Erwin. Once Eren was laughing, Levi was too, confusing Erwin even more. “Wait, what just happened?” Erwin asked.

Eren managed to catch his breath enough to say, “I can’t believe you just said that. That has got to be the cheesiest line I have ever heard!” He then proceeded to crack up again.

“Really, Erwin?” Levi asked, laughing. He lowered his voice to do a poor impression of the larger man. “’Levi and I may have a past, but the three of us have a future.’” He returned to his normal speaking voice to add, “Have you been reading Nicholas Sparks novels in your free time?”

Erwin groaned at being picked on, but he couldn’t help but smile as he pulled his two boyfriends to either side of his lap for a hug. Things were okay with them now. Hopefully, they would stay that way.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren goes to the gym and makes a new friend. Then Levi visits him at work and they have lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, not-amazing chapter, but I wanted to get it up so that we can start getting to the next plot arc (woo!). 
> 
> The next chapter will probably be irrelevant to the plot though and probably just a chapter for Eren's birthday, because I can. And because this fic needs more than one sex scene and I'm getting tired of them not doing it. It might not actually be up tomorrow though because I don't know how long it'll take me to write while I'm still sick.
> 
> Oh, but you could help me out. What should Erwin and Levi get Eren for his birthday? (Besides sex.) Let me know in the comments or at my tumblr: downtheupstairs.

Eren got up at eight the next morning. It was a pretty normal time for him to wake up, late enough that it wasn’t the ass-crack of dawn like when Erwin woke or mid-afternoon like he’d slept until in college. Levi normally woke around the same time as Erwin, usually a bit later, and joined him at the gym, and by the time Eren would be awake the two of them were often out on business. Their line of work didn’t exactly come with steady hours, but Eren assumed they had an office somewhere where they did most of their work, since they certainly didn’t bring it home.

So Eren usually woke to an empty house. He was used to it by now, and it actually felt weirder to him when either Erwin or Levi were still home at that time on a weekday, because it threw off his routine. He’d get up, have his first cup of coffee and brush his teeth, go to the gym, come home and shower, get his second cup of coffee and breakfast, then get to work by ten. He’d then work until six and come home – stopping for groceries if they needed them – and make dinner, just for him if Erwin and Levi had told him they’d be out or for the three of them if he thought they’d be home.

Normally when Eren went to the gym – he and his boyfriends had a family membership that they made good use of – he spent the time alone. He went, jogged for a while, lifted some weights so he didn’t look like a toothpick next to his built boyfriends, and generally keep to himself. It was good “me” time where he got to listen to his music and get an endorphin high.

Today, though, was different. He had just finished his run on the treadmill and was about to start doing some of the machines when a guy – who was totally built, even more than Erwin – came over to him and asked if he would mind spotting him. Eren didn’t really feel like it, but there weren’t a lot of people in the gym at this time and he didn’t want to leave the guy without a spotter. Besides, he’d seen the guy around here a lot recently at this time, and he normally came with a friend, so he figured it wouldn’t become a regular thing.

The guy even confirmed that himself as they walked over to the bench and the guy started loading on weights to the bar. “Normally my friend spots for me, but he decided to try a Pilates class or some shit like that.”

“Yeah,” Eren said just so there wouldn’t be an awkward silence. “I think I’ve seen you guys around before.”

The guy went to lie down on the bench and Eren took his position behind it to spot, though he knew it was most likely just a precaution since this dude could probably lift a house without breaking a sweat. “Yeah,” the guy agreed as he started lifting, and he stopped speaking as he did his rep. When he put the bar back on its holders for a rest he continued. “Our friend started teaching a kickboxing class around this time so we just come together and then get breakfast afterwards before Bert and I go to work.”

Eren assumed Bert was the tall sweaty guy who was currently trying out a Pilates class. “Where do you work?” Eren asked for the sake of conversation.

“I’m I shift manager at Home Depot,” the guy replied. “You know, just out of college with a suck job market. You take what you can get.” He started to do another rep, and Eren vaguely paid attention to his job as a spotter.

“Yeah, no, I totally get that,” he said as the guy seemed to have no problem lifting the weights. “I just graduated a couple years ago and I’m still working at a bookstore.”

The guy put the bar back and sat up. “Where’d you go?”

“Oh, I just went to Trost here in the city.”

The guy lit up. “No way! That’s where my friends and I went!” He looked closer at Eren and seemed deep in thought for a moment. “Wait,” he said with a smile, “Did you take Western Cultures with Davidson?”

Eren thought for a minute. “Um, yeah, I think so?”

“Dude!” the guy exclaimed. “We were totally in the same class!” He slapped Eren on the shoulder. “That’s so freaky!”

“Yeah,” Eren said. He didn’t see it as a huge coincidence. A lot of people from Trost stayed in the city after they graduated, so they were pretty much everywhere. And Western Cultures had been a big lecture class. He mostly just wanted to get back to his exercise.

The guy seemed to notice Eren’s disinterest. “Anyways, I’ll let you get back to your workout. It was cool meeting you though,…” He trailed off, not having gotten Eren’s name yet.

“Eren,” the boy supplied when he realized what the guy was waiting for.

He held out a hand. “Reiner.” Eren shook it, painfully noticing how tight the guy’s grip was. “Well,” Reiner said. “I guess I’ll see you around, Eren.” He then walked off, letting Eren get back to his workout, which would have to be shorter than usual because of the time they’d spent talking. Oh well, he could take an easy day for once, he thought as he put his earbuds back in his ears and resumed the playlist on his phone. At least the guy hadn’t seemed creepy. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad knowing somebody at the gym.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later, during Eren’s lunch break at work, Levi visited him. As they walked along the sidewalk to get to the café where Eren sometimes got his lunch if he didn’t bring it – and he hadn’t had time to make it this morning since he did end up staying at the gym a bit longer than usual, having forgotten that he needed to shorten his workout – he asked where Erwin was.

“Still at work,” Levi simply replied.

“Aren’t you supposed to be there then?” Eren asked, playfully nudging Levi with his shoulder.

“What, are you _that_ ashamed of me that I’m not allowed to visit you at work?” Levi joked dryly.

Eren just laughed. “Or are you checking up on me since your little spy isn’t doing that for you today?” He made sure to keep his tone lighthearted even though he really did think that was the reason Levi was here.

For his part, Levi didn’t deny that they’d been keeping him under watch at work. “Aururo won’t be hanging around anymore,” he said instead. “We said we’d give you more freedom and Hanji berated us for it, so.” He ended there, the explanation not really needing to be given.

“Thanks,” Eren said, grabbing Levi’s hand to hold as they walked down the street. “Really.”

Eren thought he saw Levi smile a bit as the man nudged Eren with his shoulder as the younger had just recently done to him. They got to the café and got their sandwiches and coffee. Levi paid, of course; Levi and Erwin always insisted on paying whenever they went out together, since they made far more money than Eren, even though Eren still tried to not just freeload off of them. He knew they wouldn’t mind if he wanted to, but Eren had pride and he wasn’t a mooch. That’s why he worked his minimum-wage job in the first place.

He and Levi spent Eren’s lunch hour talking about random things and definitely not playing footsie under the table. When Levi asked how Eren’s day had been, he didn’t even think to mention Reiner. Maybe if Levi and Erwin were still keeping such tight tabs on him he might have thought about it, but it didn’t really seem that important. So instead he complained about customers who come in and ask for a book whose title they don’t know “but it’s blue and it’s got this thing on the cover.” Levi laughed and then scolded Eren for being messy while he ate. Eren retaliated by being even messier.

Once Eren’s lunch hour was nearly up, Levi walked Eren back to the store and left him with a kiss. Eren tried not to notice how Levi surreptitiously checked the surroundings for anything out of place and instead went to clock back in, ready for four more hours of finding books for people based on vague descriptions.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Eren's birthday. He spends the day with Armin and Mikasa, and obviously he spends the night with Erwin and Levi (*hint hint* sex *hint hint*).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this was supposed to just be porn and then plot happened whoops. It's not a ton of plot, anyways. Oh but there's also a bit of backstory. I swear it wasn't supposed to be relevant but then stuff happened and yeah. But Armin and Mikasa yay! (Also the end of the chapter is pure porn. It's just the first part that's got stuff that actually matters.)  
> Also I think this ended up being the longest chapter I've ever written so yay for that.
> 
> I don't think I'll ever write a closing sentence for a chapter that I'm happy with except for the first chapter of this story. The rest of them just seem to suck to me. Oh well. The rest of the chapter I'm happy about. And there's sex again so yay.
> 
> As always, my tumblr is downtheupstairs if you want to send me prompts or questions or anything.

A couple of weeks later was Eren’s birthday, and though he usually slept in later on weekends, he was woken at eight a.m. sharp by his phone ringing loudly on the bedside table. Levi, who was still sleeping beside him, groaned at the noise and reached for the phone, but thankfully Eren was able to get to it first. He was sure that if Levi were to get to it he would need a new phone and they would have to a repair a hole in the wall. But Eren had managed to get to his phone first and he crawled out of bed as he answered it and headed into the kitchen so he wouldn’t disturb Levi any further.

Armin was the one who was calling, but as soon as he took the call Eren was bombarded by both his and Mikasa’s voices calling out, “Happy Birthday!”

He laughed as he closed the bedroom door behind him and he waved to Erwin, who was sitting at the table drinking coffee and reading the paper. “Hi guys,” he told his two best friends in response. “Did you have to call quite so early?” As he was talking Erwin motioned him over and he went to the man, who then pulled him down for a quick kiss and a whispered, “Happy Birthday” before he let Eren go to finish with his call. Eren tucked the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he got himself a cup of coffee.

“Of course we did!” Armin said in response to Eren’s complaint, way too cheery for this time of morning even though he and Mikasa have always been morning people. “We’re spending the day together, remember?”

“Yes, I remember,” Eren said. He took a sip of his coffee before he continued. “I just didn’t realize the day would begin quite so early.”

“This is when you normally wake up during the week though, isn’t it?” Mikasa asked.

“Keywords: during the week,” Eren said as he took his coffee into the living room so he wouldn’t disturb Erwin from his reading. He plopped down on the sofa and drank some more coffee.

“Oh come on,” Armin complained. “It’s your birthday, and we never see you anymore.” It was true. The last time Eren had seen Armin was over a week ago, and for Mikasa it had been almost a week.

“It’s not my fault you guys chose to do so much work,” Eren responded jokingly. He could imagine Armin sticking out his tongue on the other end of the line.

“Anyways,” Mikasa cut in, getting them back on subject. “We’re coming over in half an hour. We figured we’d call to wake you up just in case.” Eren knew they were also calling because Eren had told them that Erwin and Levi “were just kind of weird” and liked people to let them know ahead of time when they were coming over, but they had had enough arguments about how little they know about Erwin and Levi and their “quirks” that they just tended to avoid talking about that now.

“Okay,” Eren said. “I need to shower and stuff then. See ya.” After Armin and Mikasa said their goodbyes, Eren hung up and quickly downed the rest of the coffee. As he went to go put his mug in the sink, he leaned over Erwin’s shoulder to give him a proper good morning kiss. At least Erwin wasn’t as picky about morning breath as Levi.

When he pulled back to finally put away his dirty mug, Erwin asked, “Armin and Mikasa?”

“Yeah, they’re coming over soon,” he said, walking back over to Erwin. “I told you I was spending the day with them, right?”

“You did,” Erwin responded, grabbing Eren’s hand and pulling him closer. “But we get you tonight, correct?”

Eren felt a shiver run through his spine at the tone Erwin used for his question and suddenly he couldn’t wait until nighttime. He didn’t exactly trust his voice not to waver in anticipation, so he just bit his lip and nodded.

He didn’t miss Erwin’s smirk at the reaction he’d caused as he said, “Good.”

Erwin pulled Eren in for another kiss that Eren eventually had to break by saying, “I need to shower before they get here.” He would love to just sit around all day making out with his boyfriends – and more, of course – but he also wanted to spend the day with Armin and Mikasa and he was sure there’d be plenty more of this later that night. So with a final peck he pulled away from Erwin and went to take his shower.

By the time he was showered and dressed, Levi was up as well. When he first woke, Levi just strode part Eren into the bathroom and shut the door, but Eren knew Levi well enough not to be offended by being ignored. Levi never talked to anyone until he brushed his teeth in the morning. As soon as Levi left the bathroom, however, Eren found himself pinned against the bedroom wall with Levi’s tongue in his mouth. He had been in the middle of getting dressed and only had one of his arms in the sleeves of his shirt, but he didn’t really mind as long as Levi was kissing him. Eventually the older man pulled away, however, knowing that Eren had been in the middle of getting ready, and told him, “Happy Birthday,” before he left to presumably get his cup of coffee.

Eren had just finished getting dressed when he heard a knock at the door. This time, neither Erwin nor Levi moved from their spots in the kitchen because they knew it was just Eren’s friends and most likely not anyone dangerous. Eren rushed to the front door to greet them, checking through the peephole before undoing the locks just to be safe, like Erwin and Levi asked him to always do, and as soon as he opened the door he was crushed between his two friends’ hugs. He didn’t mind though, and even attempted to return them. Armin and Mikasa repeatedly wished Eren a Happy Birthday until Eren complained that he wasn’t able to breath because of how tight they were holding him. What was it with his friends and their hugs of death?

“I haven’t had a chance to eat yet,” Eren said once he was free. “So if you don’t mind-“

“No!” Armin interjected. “That’s good! Because the first stop on Eren’s Birthday Tour is…” He paused and started a drumroll on his pants leg to build the anticipation, which Eren promptly broke.

“Are we going to IHOP?!” He asked excitedly.

“We’re going to IHOP!” Armin confirmed.

Now Eren was _really_ excited. IHOP was Eren’s favorite breakfast restaurant – wasn’t it everybody’s? – and whenever he went he would order the most nauseatingly-sweet, sugar-filled breakfast concoction the restaurant had. For that very reason both his friends and his boyfriends kept him from going there too often. His loved ones did not want to see him rot all his teeth or get diabetes. But they let him go on special occasions, such as his birthday. “Just let me get his things,” he said quickly as he turned to run to the bedroom to get his wallet and phone. He returned more slowly as he put the items in his jeans pockets, and when he got back to the living room Levi and Erwin had joined Mikasa and Armin.

This was always a little awkward, but at least they weren’t staying. One time Eren had invited his two friends over for dinner with him and his boyfriends, and things got a little bit tense. There may have been half and hour of near-silence interspersed by Eren clearing his throat and offering a failing start to a conversation. Things were always a little weird between his friends and his boyfriends. Armin and Mikasa were the only ones to have ever come over to the apartment, the rest staying away thanks to Eren’s not-really-a-lie about Levi being a neat freak and picky about guests. Most of his other friends hadn’t even met the two. Needless to say, Armin and Mikasa were always a little wary about Eren’s boyfriends, especially when he could only give vague answers to questions like, “So where do they work?” (“Um… the government.”)

They were just finishing up the cursory hellos as Eren came back in the room. He checked to make sure he had all of his things before turning to his lovers and saying, “Well, I’ll be going.” He was excited for IHOP and he didn’t want any current awkwardness to last very long.

He kissed Erwin first, and then Levi, both just chastely because his two friends – and honestly they were more like family – were in the room. Erwin said, “Have fun,” and Levi said, “Be back by six; we have a reservation.” He didn’t specify where the reservation was to, and Eren was curious, but he knew that if Levi had wanted Eren to know where they were having dinner he would have said the name of the restaurant, so he didn’t bother asking. Instead, he just said goodbye and grabbed one of each of his best friends’ hands and pulled the two out into the hallway and to the elevator so they could get going to IHOP.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Since they knew Eren would stuff himself to the point of feeling sick at IHOP, Armin and Mikasa had planned for them to go to the showing of the new superhero movie that had just come out right after their leisurely brunch. Eren made comments through the whole movie, as per usual, and Armin tried not to shush him too many times because it was his birthday, but the three of them were never very good at going to movies together. Eren would say any comment that just happened to come to mind, Mikasa would complain about how “that would never actually happen,” and Armin would spend the whole time shushing the two. It was always exasperating for the three of them, but they never learned, and they still went to the movies together. It was just what friends did.

After the movie, they wandered around the mall window-shopping. Or rather, it was mostly window-shopping, until the three of them went into GameStop and Armin and Mikasa bought Eren the game he’d been lusting after for the past month as his birthday present. There were sufficient hugs and “Happy Birthdays” to go around, and when they finally made to exit the store, they ran into somebody Eren knew.

Reiner and Bert – Reiner had introduced them the day after they’d met, saying that Bert had gone to Trost, too – had just walked in the store with a small, kind of angry-looking blonde girl. He and Reiner had had a few conversations over the past couple of weeks at the gym. Bert would join in too sometimes, but he was always pretty quiet. But apparently Bert was sticking with the Pilates class – Eren could not imagine that giant doing something like that, but to each their own – so Eren had said that he’d spot for Reiner the two days a week Bert wouldn’t be there. Reiner spotted for Eren in return. It was a nice arrangement. As soon as Eren noticed the three enter the store, Reiner noticed Eren.

“Eren!” he exclaimed, coming over. “It’s so weird running into you here, man. Buying some games?”

Eren could tell Mikasa and Armin were shooting him curious looks, but he figured it would be easiest to explain it to them later. “Um, kinda,” he responded. “My friends were buying me a birthday present.”

“No way!” Reiner said. “It’s your birthday! That’s awesome, man!”

“Yeah,” Eren responded, weakly. Reiner was a really enthusiastic person and sometimes it was a little overwhelming. He could tell Bert felt the same way, if the way the taller guy was sort of curled in on himself next to the blond man was any indication. The girl who was with them didn’t seem to be paying any attention at all, instead inspecting an Xbox game.

“Yo,” Reiner said suddenly. “There’s a Jamba Juice next door. Let me buy you a birthday smoothie.”

“Um,” Eren said, looking at Armin and Mikasa, who were still being left out. “You really don’t have to do that.”

“Aw, come on,” Reiner said, clapping a hand on Eren’s back. “I’ll buy for your friends too. It’s no prob.”

Eren glanced at Armin and Mikasa and shrugged, silently asking, “Why not?” and the two shrugged in agreement, so Eren turned back to Reiner and said, “Ok. Thanks.”

The three of them headed next door to the Jamba Juice and waited in line together. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin each ordered something small and cheap because Reiner was buying, and after Reiner paid they all went to sit down while they waited. They had to push two tables together to fit them all, but it wasn’t really a problem. Eren realized once they were sitting that he hadn’t introduced his friends. “Oh, um, Reiner, these are my friends Armin and Mikasa. Armin and Mikasa, this is Reiner, Bert, and…” He trailed off, realizing he didn’t know the girl’s name.

“Annie,” the girl added, still looking as bored as ever.

“Yeah. Um, I met Bert and Reiner at the gym. They go at the same time that I do, and they also just graduated from Trost a few years ago.” He looked to Reiner. “Armin and Mikasa went to Trost, too.”

“Oh, cool,” Reiner said. “Nice to meet you guys.” He extended a hand that they each shook – Armin wincing a bit at the grip but Mikasa not batting an eye – and then their drinks were ready. Reiner went to get them and bring them back to the table.

Things became more comfortable as they sat and drank their smoothies. Reiner asked Armin and Mikasa about their jobs, and about med school when he found out Armin was going. Armin and Mikasa asked about the three of them and what they did for a living and what they had majored in during college and such. It was much less awkward than Eren had feared it would be. They ended up staying in the Jamba Juice for almost an hour just talking even once they had finished their drinks.

Eventually, though, Reiner looked at his watch and said that the three of them had to get going. They said their goodbyes and it-was-nice-to-meet-yous and Happy Birthdays and went their separate ways, Eren and his friends off to get back on schedule for his birthday celebration.

The rest of the day with Armin and Mikasa was wonderful. The three of them went to the boardwalk even though it was still pretty chilly out for many people to be there, and there were even some shops that weren’t open yet. But the cold weather didn’t stop Eren from dragging his friends down to the beach and putting his feet in the freezing cold water. He didn’t care if he’d get sick – he loved the ocean. Armin and Mikasa allowed him to keep his feet in for a few minutes but eventually dragged him back out. They spent the rest of the afternoon just walking around, sharing a cotton candy and catching up.

Eventually, however, their time came to a close and they piled back into Armin’s car and drove Eren back to the apartment so he wouldn’t be late for dinner with his boyfriends. Armin and Mikasa each gave Eren a long hug before he went up to the apartment and they all promised they’d be better about finding time to hand out from now on.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Eren got back to the apartment at 5:55, since they’d hit less traffic coming back than they had expected. When he entered, he didn’t see Erwin or Levi, so he assumed they were in the bedroom. He left the bag with the game Armin and Mikasa had gotten him on the living room coffee table and headed back to the bedroom where he found his boyfriends almost finished putting on suits. Eren nearly started drooling. _Damn_ , they looked so good in suits. It didn’t help that each of the suits was perfectly tailored and probably cost more than Eren earned in a month. He had to bite his lip to keep from groaning at the sight of them: Erwin putting on his cufflinks, Levi adjusting his tie.

And they _knew_ what it did to Eren, also. When they turned to look at Eren, Erwin got this cocky grin and Levi got this little smirk, and God Eren hated them and their attractive bodies in attractive suits. He glared at them and managed to stop staring at how great Erwin’s ass looked in those pants as he walked through the room to the closet. “So I’m guessing we’re dressing up for dinner, or are you just wearing that because you’re both cocky bastards?” Eren asked.

He was stopped from going into the closet by Erwin’s arm around his waist. “Can’t it be both?” he murmured into Eren’s ear before turning him away from the closet. “We already got your suit out.”

Eren then saw that Erwin was correct and his suit was already lying on the bed, ready for him to put on. It had been one of the first things Erwin and Levi had gotten him when they started going out, because they kept wanting to take him to fancy restaurants but got frustrated at his ill-fitting formal clothes. And Eren had to admit, the tailored suit they’d gotten him _did_ make him look really hot, so even though he generally objected to the two of them spending loads of money on him, the suit was something he’d allowed. It felt good knowing that they felt the same way about him in a suit as he felt about them dressed up. And they had proven that they each loved how the others looked dressed up. Multiple times. They had ruined a couple of good silk ties that way.

Eren got dressed in his suit, Erwin tying his tie even though he was perfectly capable of doing it himself, as he told his boyfriends about his day. He told them about gorging himself at IHOP and the movie and Armin and Mikasa buying him that game he’d been telling them about – not that they really had any idea about what it was – as a present, and about running into some friends and then going to the boardwalk and wandering around. Erwin and Levi only ‘tsk’ed a bit when he told them about going down to the water, not scolding him further because it was his birthday.

By the time he’d finished telling them about how he’d spent his day, the three of them had gotten into the car and made it to the restaurant. It was called “Zhinganshina’s” and was a high class Asian-Fusion restaurant. Levi told the hostess about their reservation and they were immediately ushered to a table that was a bit blocked off from the others, so it was a tiny bit more private. They always preferred to get more private tables if possible, for multiple reasons including that they didn’t exactly like the stares of people who guessed at their relationship and thought that it was wrong.

Dinner was fucking fantastic, to the point where Levi had to remind Eren, “Don’t sound like you’re actually fucking cumming,” after the moan he’d made when he first tasted his entrée. They each stole bites from the others’ plates and Eren practically ate himself into his second food coma of the day. He didn’t usually like to feel fat compared to Erwin and Levi, but on his birthday he made an exception.

When the waitress asked them if they’d like to see the dessert menu, Erwin graciously declined, earning him a curious look from Eren. He may have eaten himself into a food coma, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want birthday cake. Erwin just smiled at him and said, “We have cake at home.” They probably went to some fancy bakery and got it, not that Eren minded. He would have time to digest on the way home, then, too.

As soon as they got home, Eren flopped onto the couch in the living room. Levi complained about him getting the place dirty as he took the boy’s shoes off for him so he wouldn’t get them on the couch and Eren just muttered into the cushions about being too tired to move.

“Does that mean you don’t want cake or your presents then?” Erwin asked.

Eren shot straight up. “Cake?” he asked, even though he already knew there was cake here. “Presents?”

Erwin and Levi chuckled at him and led him into the kitchen and sat him at the table. Levi went to the fridge and got out the cake while Erwin got plates and forks.

“Do we need the fucking candles and singing?” Levi asked Eren right as he was about to cut the cake.

“Nope, just cake,” Eren confirmed. Levi cut three small slices of what looked like a very rich chocolate cake and put them each on a plate that Erwin brought to the table. He set the first one in front of Eren and put one out for Levi and saved the last for himself. Eren didn’t wait for his boyfriends to sit down before he was digging in.

Erwin and Levi just chuckled at him as they more tactfully at their own slices. Soon enough Eren was stretching back in his seat after putting his plate in the sink and asking again, “Presents?”

Erwin told Eren to wait there and he went into the bedroom. A minute later he came back with a small wrapped box. He set it before Eren and then sat back down. With both he and Levi watching him, Eren slowly opened the box and looked inside.

“A pocket watch?” he said, confused. Yeah, it was kind of cool and probably expensive, but it looked old and a bit tarnished and-

Eren nearly dropped the watch onto the table when he flipped it and saw the other side. He knew this watch. His mother had shown it to him plenty of times when he was younger. It had been her father’s, and it had his initials engraved on the back. She had told him that when he was older it would be his. But it shouldn’t be here; it shouldn’t even exist.

Eren’s hand clutched around the watch and he didn’t breathe for a minute as he just blinked at the watch in his grip. “How-“ he began, but his voice got caught in his throat. “This…” he started again, trying his hardest not to cry. “This _burned_. You… you can’t have gotten this…”

Suddenly Levi’s hands were around his trembling grip. “Eren,” he said, trying to ground him. “It’s the real thing. We found it for you.”

Erwin was behind Eren then, gently rubbing his back. “You told us how important it had been. We thought you’d like it.”

Eren then realized that his crying and reaction may have been a bit misleading and he broke his stare from his hand to look at Levi, since Erwin was behind him and he’d have to crane his neck. “No!” he said. “I do like it. Really. I just…” he looked back down at his hand, which he pulled away from Levi’s and opened so he could look at the watch again. “I never thought I’d see it again.”

Erwin wrapped his arms around Eren and kissed his head. “Well, you have it now. Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” Eren said, wiping his tears. “I’m… thank you. Really.” He turned his face to press a kiss to Erwin’s arm and then pulled Levi in to gently kiss him as well. “I love you guys.”

“We love you, too,” Erwin assured him before letting go and standing. Eren looked up when he heard a chair scrape and saw Levi standing as well.

“Where are you-“ Eren started to ask, but he was cut off by Erwin’s dazzling smile.

“We said present _s_ , right?” he asked, emphasizing the plural.

“No,” Eren protested. “Really, this is more than enough. I can’t-“

Levi pressed his lips to Eren’s to shut him up. “Eren,” he murmured, keeping his face close. “Just let us do this, ok?”

Eren pouted but nodded, and he started to stand when Levi pulled away and he and Erwin started for the bedroom, intending to follow. However, Erwin stopped him with a hand on his chest, pushing him back to the chair.

“Stay there,” he said. “We need to prepare it.” He winked and turned away, ushering Levi into the bedroom and leaving Eren to wonder what the hell he was in for.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was almost ten minutes later and after some muffled argument from the bedroom that Erwin finally opened the door. He was still wearing his suit, though he’d taken off the jacket and rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, but Eren couldn’t imagine that was all that was different and had taken so long. Erwin was blocking Eren’s view into the room, though, and he just smiled at Eren and held out a hand, prompting the younger to come to him. He did so, and Erwin led him into the room and _holy shitballs_.

Levi was leaning against one of the posts at the end of the bed, but what was surprising was what he was wearing. He was clad entirely in red and black, from his red heels to his black stockings to his red panties and garter and a short black corset lined in red. Eren was pretty positive his brain short-circuited. Levi walked – _strutted_ , Eren’s mind amended – over to Eren and raised a hand to close Eren’s jaw. “You’re drooling, brat,” he said, looking annoyed though Eren knew on the inside he was smirking.

Eren tried to think of a witty comeback, but his mind was still trying to process the image of Levi in lingerie, and what came out was more along the lines of, “You- you’re…”

Erwin pressed up behind Eren and soothed his hands down the younger’s arms. He leaned down to Eren’s ear and asked, “Isn’t he sexy?” before he started nibbling at Eren’s earlobe.

Suppressing a moan, Eren forced his eyes away from Levi and pulled Erwin down into a kiss. When he pulled away, he asked, “Why aren’t you dressed up, though?”

 _That_ certainly surprised Erwin, and the man just blinked for a moment. “I, um…” Erwin was not someone often at a loss for words, which goes to show how taken aback he was. “I didn’t know you’d want me to…”

Eren smiled and brought Erwin into another kiss, saying, “It’s ok. Another time then,” when he pulled back.

Levi cleared his throat to get Eren’s attention back on him. The heels were already hurting his feet so he’d like to move this to the bed as quickly as possible. Eren pulled away from Erwin and put his hands on Levi’s cinched waist, running them up and down the corset before moving in to catch the man’s lips with his own. He didn’t stop feeling the man up as they kissed, and Eren walked them to the bed until he could sit and have Levi straddle his legs. He couldn’t tell how long they kissed, but in the meantime Erwin had climbed behind Eren and latched onto his throat as he began to take off Eren’s shirt and tie. Eren was caught up in the kiss and Erwin’s mouth on his throat right up until a hand undid his belt and pants and reached in to slowly stroke his growing erection, at which point Eren pulled away from Levi’s mouth to moan loudly. Levi (unfortunately) had to get off of Eren’s lap to help pull the boy’s pants and underwear down as Erwin removed his button-down and undershirt, leaving Eren completely naked.

Eren had gotten caught up in staring at Levi’s outfit again and he didn’t notice that Erwin had moved from behind him until Levi pushed at Eren’s chest and he fell back to the bed. Eren squirmed to get better situated fully on the bed and Levi followed him on his knees, grinding down onto Eren’s lap when they finally got to the center of the bed. He bucked up into Levi’s lap in return and searched for Erwin, finding the man undressing at the edge of the bed. He didn’t miss how the man left his tie on the bed while the rest of his clothes found their way to the floor.

There was no way he could have missed it, either, when Levi reached over and grabbed it, straightening it out before grabbing Eren’s hands and moving them above his head to tie them to the headboard. Eren whined a bit. He wanted to be able to touch, especially with Levi in that outfit.

But Levi just chuckled and leaned down so his lips were barely brushing against Eren’s. “We’re the ones taking care of you tonight, Eren,” he whispered. “We just want to make sure you’re lying back and relaxing.”

Eren gave him a look that told Levi he knew just how big a load of bullshit that was and that he knew they were just doing this to frustrate him, but he didn’t openly complain, because even though it was frustrating, it was always hot when they did this.

Levi started trailing a line of kisses down Eren’s chest as Erwin got on the bed and kneeled behind him. Erwin pulled Levi up so Levi’s back was pressed against Erwin’s chest and he leaned down to suck marks on the man’s neck like he had done with Eren earlier. He felt Levi up as he did so, making the man moan and making Eren groan in frustration as he bucked his hips up to at least try to rub against Levi but was unable. Erwin and Levi made sure to put on a bit of a show as Erwin undid the straps of the garter and slid the red silk panties down Levi’s thighs. Levi leaned forward to kiss Eren so that Erwin was able to slide the panties fully off and rebuckle the garter straps before sitting up again and leaning back into Erwin’s chest. Erwin was already prepared with the lube at his side and he slicked up his fingers before giving Levi’s hard member a couple of strokes and sliding his fingers down to the man’s hole. He made sure to thoroughly prepare Levi and Levi made sure to make plenty of noises just to drive Eren crazy.

Just as Eren was beginning to openly complain that, “This isn’t fair guys, come _on_ , please already, just-“ Erwin slid his fingers out of Levi and moved them to Eren’s cock, giving it a few good strokes to get it slick before he helped Levi get in position above it. Eren absently noticed that Levi must have taken off his heels before getting on the bed and then he was pressing into Levi and trying very hard not to just buck his hips into the tight heat as Levi so slowly took him in. It was especially hard to keep still once Levi was fully seated, but he knew the man needed time to adjust so he just moved to run his hand through Levi’s hair and was reminded of his inability to do so.

Even after he was fully adjusted, Levi didn’t start moving. Instead, he just shifted forward a tiny bit so that Erwin behind him was able to spread Eren’s legs. Eren began staring at the ceiling and muttering various things about “God” and “Fuck” and “Shit” as Erwin started stretching Eren just as he had done for Levi. It was a bit more awkward because of the position but Eren couldn’t mind less and was instead begging Erwin to “come on just do it _please_ ” until Erwin finally deemed him ready and shifted so that Eren’s hips were practically on his thighs and Levi was leaning forward, sucking at Eren’s collarbone, and Erwin finally pressed in.

Eren stretched out the word “fuck” in a groan that lasted until Erwin was pressed in as much as he could get in the position, and it didn’t take him long to try to move and start begging his two lovers when he realized it was difficult for him to do so in that position. At least now Erwin and Levi indulged him, Levi finally lifting up and pressing back down, causing Eren to shift of Erwin’s dick. They got into a rhythm that made Eren feel like he was going to fucking die it felt so good and he was so pissed that he couldn’t touch either of his boyfriends, even though he could _see_ Levi’s hard dick bobbing there untouched and he wanted nothing less than to just wrap his hand around it and make the man come.

In the end, Eren came first. There was no way he could have lasted very long with the dual sensations. As Eren was shouting out his completion, Erwin wrapped a hand around Levi’s dick to stroke him, and the two of them weren’t far behind. They laid in a sticky mess for a minute, catching their breaths, before Erwin reached up to untie Eren’s hands, he and Levi each taking an arm and gently massaging the feeling back into it at Eren lay sated. They lay there for a few more minutes after that until Levi finally sat up.

“Ok, I’m getting out of this fucking thing,” he said, trying to reach behind him to undo the corset strings. When he wasn’t able to get them himself, he looked over his shoulder and snapped, “Erwin. Help me with these damn strings. You’re the one who tied them so tight.”

Erwin started to sit up but Eren gently pushed him back with a hand and sat up himself, saying, “Let me.” He hadn’t been able to touch during sex, so he might as well touch after, even though he was quite tired and eager to sleep. He undid the corset for Levi and planted a kiss on his shoulder blades, and before he was able to lie back down Levi turned and caught his lips with his own.

After a chaste kiss, Levi muttered, “Hope you enjoyed your birthday, brat,” and stood and went to the bathroom.

Even though Levi was halfway to the bathroom before Eren comprehended the sentence, he quietly responded, “I did,” as he leaned back into Erwin’s arms. He turned so he was facing Erwin’s chest and reached up to give him a quick kiss as well. “Thank you for my presents,” he said as he cuddled into Erwin’s chest, getting ready to fall asleep. “Tell Levi thanks, too. He’s going to be in there forever and I’m going to sleep.” The last thing Eren heard before closing his eyes was Erwin’s deep chuckle, and he felt a kiss pressed to the top of his head as he used his boyfriend’s chest for a pillow as he at last fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short, but plot-filled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, just like what the summary says.  
> I think I'll leave it at that.
> 
> Oh, this is up on ff.net, under the same username, if you want to read it there. But ff.net is a lot more annoying to upload on so I might not always remember right away to put new chapters there too.

Eren’s life fell into a routine the next few weeks. He’d go to the gym and work during the week, relax on the weekends. Only once did he have to stay up until two in the morning when Erwin and Levi went on a mission, but they came back without even a scratch. He’d skipped going to the gym the next day because he was tired, but he didn’t mind much.

One night Levi had to work late – they assured Eren it wasn’t a mission, so nothing dangerous – Erwin and Eren had a nice dinner out that ended with them making out as they undressed each other on the way to the bedroom and Eren riding Erwin until his thighs burned. At least Erwin didn’t call Eren weak when he ran out of energy while riding him, like Levi would have done. Levi was pretty annoyed to find that he had missed out, though. Eren gave him an apology blowjob. He was pretty sure Erwin did the same later.

Eren continued to see Reiner at the gym every time he went, and every day but Mondays and Thursdays he’d see Bert, too. He still couldn’t imagine that man doing Pilates. Sometimes he’d see Annie coming out of the kickboxing class she taught. Eren mostly talked with Reiner, and a little bit with Bert. He didn’t see Annie enough to talk to her more than a couple of times.

But one Thursday as Eren was finishing lifting weights with Reiner spotting him, Reiner asked him if he’d like to join the three of them for breakfast after their workout.

Eren was a bit taken aback. “Um…” he said. “Maybe some other time? I don’t have my stuff to shower with me so I’d have to go home first, and all that. Sorry.” He was also just getting some bad vibes. Reiner and his friends were cool, but Eren thought that he might not know him well enough to be comfortable going out with them. It was one thing when he’d had Armin and Mikasa there with him, but… he just wasn’t sure about this.

Reiner smiled, but Eren thought it might have been a bit strained. That was odd. Eren was even gladder that he’d decided not to go now. There was something going on. He just couldn’t figure out what. “No problem, bro,” he replied, slapping Eren’s arm. “Another time.”

Eren nodded and went to finish his workout and Reiner left to go shower before going to get breakfast with his friends. Well, at least Reiner hadn’t pushed the issue. Maybe he was just socially awkward when it came to rejection? Wait, he hadn’t been flirting with Eren, had he? He hadn’t ever mentioned his boyfriends – he tended to save that until he knew people pretty well, if only because some people got weird when they heard Eren was not only gay but polyamorous as well. So maybe he had been reading the situation wrong and Reiner had been flirting with him? But why would he ask him to have breakfast with his friends too then? The three of them – or at least Reiner and Bert – had seem pretty damn close. Eren didn’t know. He was just glad that he’d turned him down, because there had definitely been something weird going on there. Even if it was just flirting, it would be something he’d probably have to address. He wasn’t really looking forward to that. He had hoped this would just be a simple gym-buddy relationship. They didn’t even need to be actual friends, just gym buddies who spot each other and ask generic questions about how life’s going.

He only stayed another ten minutes or so before he got his things from the locker room and went out to his car. It was miserable and raining out, so he tried to hurry, not having brought an umbrella with him.

He was walking to his car when he felt an arm drape across his shoulders and something hard press into the side of his ribs.

“Wha-?” he started, turning his head to see that Reiner was the one holding him, but the man cut him off.

“Shh,” he said. “I’d be quiet if I were you, Eren.” Eren felt whatever was pressing against his ribs jab harder, and he came to the sinking realization that he was being held at gunpoint. He looked around, for help maybe, to see that Bert and Annie were following close behind and that the parking lot was unfortunately empty. “We’re going to go for a little walk,” Reiner said, leading Eren towards an alleyway. Eren followed. He was too shocked to do anything else.

When he saw the car parked in the alley with the trunk open, though, he realized just what was going on and that he needed to get out. He quickly grabbed the gun and directed it away from his body while trying to get out from under Reiner’s arm.

Immediately after he did that, though, he was punched in the face and found himself fallen on the ground. He started to call for help, but a hand was placed over his mouth as someone else’s held his arms down and sat on his legs so he couldn’t move them. He did the only thing he could at that moment – he bit the hand covering his mouth.

“Shit!” Annie shouted, taking her now-bleeding hand away from Eren’s mouth for a second before remembering what she was doing and pressing it back down. Eren bit her again, and she cursed once more, but called, “Fuck, Reiner get the damn duct tape!” Eren kept biting her as he tried to flail his limbs and get the person sitting on him off, but Bert was much bigger than him and impossible to shake. A minute later, Annie ripped her hand out of Eren’s teeth – he had torn off a good portion of skin at least, even if it tasted absolutely terrible as he spat it out onto the pavement – and a piece of duct tape was secured over his lips, muffling his cries.

Next, a zip tie was tightened around his ankles and he was maneuvered onto his back so that his hands could be zip-tied behind him as well. Eren knew at this point his chance of escape was slim to none, but that wouldn’t stop him from fighting. He tried his hardest to kick at his kidnappers and squirm out of their grip when they picked him up, but it was to no avail. He was pushed into the trunk of the car and the boot was closed, leaving him in complete darkness. He heard the car doors slamming shut and the engine turn on, and then they were moving.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin and Levi come home to an empty apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I told you the plot would be starting to pick up soon!   
> I know you all want Erwin and Levi's reactions, so... read on.

When he and Erwin came home to find the apartment empty, Levi didn’t want to immediately start worrying. This happened sometimes, if Eren had to stay a bit late at work or if he needed to get groceries or if traffic was particularly bad coming home. There were plenty of innocent reasons why Levi and Erwin would get home before him. Usually Eren would text to let them know, but it was understandable that he wouldn’t be able to if he didn’t have a chance at work or was in the middle of driving. So there was no need to worry. It just meant that they’d probably end up ordering pizza or Chinese for dinner, because when Levi checked the refrigerator there wasn’t a whole lot of food in there – so Eren was probably just at the grocery store, he presumed – and they’d probably be too lazy to cook a late dinner after Eren got home. He probably had a long day and would be tired, which is probably why he didn’t text.

Everything was fine, Levi told himself. He told Erwin, too.

When seven o’clock came and they still had no word from Eren, Levi and Erwin agreed that it couldn’t hurt to text Eren and find out what’s up. They just had to word it so they didn’t sound like they were freaking out – although they were – or nagging. It took them a couple of minutes, but they eventually decided on sending a message that said: _Are you at the grocery store? Don’t worry about dinner tonight, we’ll order something. Chinese sound good?_

Eren still hadn’t replied twenty minutes later, and Levi and Erwin decided they were allowed to start freaking out. They tried calling his cell a couple of times but their calls went straight to voicemail. They decided that at this point it wouldn’t be that abnormal to call the bookstore where Eren worked to see if maybe he had gotten caught up there. Even if it would be strange, they would have done it anyway. They decided that Erwin would make the call, since Levi was less able to keep his cool and was already snapping even at Erwin. They didn’t want to scare Eren’s boss.

They looked up the number to the store online and Erwin called, putting the phone on speaker.

The line was picked up after just a couple of rings. “Hi, Stohess Books, how can I help you?”

“Hi,” Erwin said, and Levi glared at him for taking so long getting the point because of stupid formalities. “I was just wondering if Eren Jeager was still at the store, working late perhaps?”

The man on the other end hummed in consideration. “And who is this?” he finally asked.

“My apologies, this is his boyfriend speaking.”

“I see,” said the man, who Erwin presumed – and hoped – was a manager. “Well, unfortunately Eren isn’t here. In fact, he didn’t show up for his shift today at all.”

Erwin nearly dropped the phone. Both he and Levi were frozen in shock for the next minute until Erwin was roused by a “Hello? Are you still there?” coming from the phone.

Still in shock, he lifted the phone to his ear and said, voice dead, “Yes. Thank you for letting me know.” Then he hung up.

They didn’t know what to do then. They immediately thought the worst, but even thinking that they had no leads as to what actually happened. The two found themselves sitting, unmoving, on the living room couch just staring at the wall. This wasn’t like them. They always knew what to do, always had a plan. They had thought through plenty of times what would happen if something happened to Eren, if he got taken or worse. But the reality of it froze them to the bone.

Ten minutes later Levi had an idea. He pulled out his phone and searched through his contacts for Eren’s sister, Mikasa. Maybe for some reason Eren was with her or Armin. It was a long shot, but it was still a shot. Levi stood and paced around the living room as he waited for the phone to dial, ignoring Erwin’s questioning looks.

Finally the girl picked up. Unlike Erwin, Levi wasted no time with formalities. “Mikasa,” he said, trying not to sound quite as worried as he was, though his tone was still sharper than usual. “Have you heard from Eren today?”

Levi could practically feel the girl’s sudden worry and curiosity on the other end of the line. “No…” she said. “Why? What-“

He didn’t wait to hear the rest of Mikasa’s questions. He just hung up and threw his phone at the wall. The screen of the phone cracked and there was now a dent in the drywall, but that was the least of their worries.

Erwin let Levi pace for a while as he sat on the couch, head in his hands. He felt useless. He felt stupid and pathetic and like there was so much more they _could_ be doing right now to find Eren but they just couldn’t think of anything. Then a thought occurred to him.

“Did Eren go to the gym this morning?”

Levi stopped pacing and stared at Erwin for a moment before heading to the door and shoving on his shoes, not bothering to give an answer. Erwin was right behind him, but Levi stopped him with a hand on his chest.

“You stay. If he comes back…”

Erwin wasn’t very happy about it, but he nodded and sat back down. Levi finished putting on his shoes and grabbed his keys and was gone.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Normally it took fifteen minutes to drive to the gym. Levi and Erwin had chosen one that wasn’t very close to the apartment so it was slightly less obvious. But apparently they were still tracked there. With Levi driving, he made it there in six minutes. He was honked at a fair number of times and he probably tripped a few red light cameras, but none of that was important.

What was important was Eren’s car in the parking lot. Levi parked next to it and walked around the car, looking inside for any clues as to where Eren had gone. There was nothing.

After finding nothing by the car, Levi looked around the rest of the parking lot, desperate for some sort of hint. He saw a security camera covering the gym doors. He’d get the tapes to that once the gym closed for the night.

He tried to think of what he would do if he were trying to abduct someone from the gym. It seemed the most likely option at this point. If Eren had been killed by accident it would have been on the news and if it were on purpose the killer would have called by now. He was frustrated that the kidnappers hadn’t called yet either though. Why wouldn’t they call right away? Unless they were trying to get any information out of Eren that they could first. That wouldn’t be good. Whoever it was wouldn’t be happy that Eren didn’t know anything.

But Levi needed to concentrate. If he were kidnapping someone… it was an open space, which made it a lot harder to take someone without anybody noticing. If they could manage to get them in front of it, there was an alleyway at the other end of the lot… It was really the only feasible place. Levi headed over to it. He used his phone as a flashlight, but he didn’t find much. A bunch of trash, some tire marks but that didn’t necessarily mean anything; somebody could have tried to use it as a cut-through to the parking lot from the opposite road. But then there was a bloodstain on the ground. Well, finding a bloodstain in an alley wasn’t really anything weird, but there was something with it. Levi looked at it closer, almost touching it, but when he realized what it was he sure was glad he didn’t.

It was a small chunk of skin, roughly an inch by an inch and a half. It looked like it had been ripped from somebody. Levi felt a sinking feeling when he realized that it very well could be Eren’s skin. He couldn’t tell the exact shade of the swatch since it had been covered in blood and it looked like it had been left here a while. He hoped to God that this had nothing to do with Eren, but he had a bad feeling about it.

Without anything more than that, though, there wasn’t anything else for Levi to do here. He’d have to wait a few more hours until the gym was closed to get a look at the security footage. So he just took pictures of the patch of skin and the small puddle of blood just in case it could be useful but got washed away, and then he got in his car and went home, hoping Erwin had some good news. If Eren had come back, he’d definitely have called, so he knew that didn’t happen, but he could still hope they got some sort of lead. They’d get Eren back, no matter what.

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Levi had only been gone for about half an hour, but it was long enough that when he got back to the apartment, Erwin wasn’t alone.

He opened the door to find Erwin standing with his hands slightly raised in surrender as an angry Mikasa snapped at him with a terrified-looking Armin behind her.

When she heard the door open, Mikasa rounded on Levi.

“Where the hell is my brother?!” she yelled.

“That’s what we’re trying to find out,” Levi snapped back as he began taking off his shoes.

“There was nothing at the gym?” Erwin asked, not worried at all that Mikasa looked about ready to kill the both of them. They could take her easily if she tried anything.

“His car was still there,” Levi replied, walking to stand in front of Erwin and ignoring their visitors. “There was a security camera outside; once they’re closed we’ll check the video, see if there’s anything there. The parking lot’s pretty open but there’s an alley they could have used.” He took out his phone and brought up the pictures he took to show Erwin. “There was some blood and a small piece of skin that looked like it had been torn off-“ He ignored what sounded like Mikasa growling and Armin’s gasp. “I couldn’t tell if it was his or not. I didn’t have a bag with me so I couldn’t bring it back but we can get it when we go later.”

Mikasa had finally had enough and grabbed the phone from Erwin who had been swiping through the pictures. She looked at the pictures but couldn’t get much information from them. “What the _hell_ is going on?!” she practically yelled. “What exactly did you get Eren into?!”

Levi and Erwin sighed as they exchanged a look, realizing that they kind of had to tell Armin and Mikasa about their jobs. Erwin decided it’d be best if he were the one to explain.

“Levi and I,” he began, trying to keep his voice and therefore the room calm. “Eren told you we work for the government, right?” Armin and Mikasa nodded. “Well, our jobs are in information gathering and asset protection.”

The two younger people nodded blankly, but then Armin’s eyes lit up. “Wait,” he said. “Are you… spies?”

“Yes,” Levi responded, and he and Erwin had a silent argument with their looks at each other about putting it s bluntly.

“Those actually exist in real life?” Armin asked, perhaps rhetorically.

“ _Yes_ ,” Levi said again, sounding exasperated. “And we tried to keep Eren out of as much danger as possible, but it appears we didn’t succeed.”

Mikasa started to say something angrily, but Erwin cut her off. “And before you ask, yes, Eren knows about what we do and he knows the risks that it carries.” He and Levi already felt guilty enough; they didn’t need an outside party helping them feel worse.

It was silent then for a while as Mikasa stared Levi and Erwin down and Armin was deep in thought. After a minute or so, Armin’s brow furrowed and he looked at Levi. “You said you were checking the gym?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Levi said. “His car was there. He never showed up to work.”

Armin looked at Mikasa. “Reiner and his friends,” he explained to her. “They go to the gym at the same time as Eren.”

“Wait,” Erwin interrupted. “Who are you talking about?”

“Eren’s new friends,” Armin told the two boyfriends. “Reiner and… Bert and Annie, I think it was. We saw them when we were out for Eren’s birthday… It seemed a little weird. They… they had so much in common. I just thought it was a major coincidence. They went to the same college as us, they went to the gym at the same time as Eren, liked the same things… Even showing up at the mall when we were there… I thought it was weird, but there wasn’t a reason for them to lie. Now that I know about you two, though…” He trailed off, leaving the others to connect the dots in their own minds.

“Shit,” Levi said, talking mostly to himself. “Shit! Why didn’t he mention them? I knew it was a bad idea not having him check in with us more often. Shit!”

Erwin grabbed Levi’s shoulders to calm him down. “Levi,” he said. “There’s nothing we can do about that now. We need to focus on getting Eren back.”

“I’m helping you,” Mikasa said.

“Oh no you’re not,” Levi responded. “We’re not having some untrained kid-“ He suddenly found himself on his back, Mikasa having swept his legs from underneath him. He bounced back up and attacked her back, but it turned out Mikasa was a pretty good fighter. Good enough to keep up with Levi, at least, and that was saying something. In the end Levi won, pinning the girl to the floor, but she had lasted at least two minutes against him. Erwin and Armin had moved to the outer edges of the room, and thankfully nothing in the apartment got broken during the fight.

After holding Mikasa to the floor for a few seconds to ensure she couldn’t escape the hold, Levi let her up. “You’re pretty good,” he told her, fixing his clothes. “Judo?”

“Eighth at the World Championships,” she simply responded.

Levi raised a brow in pleasant surprise. “Not bad.”

“So I’m helping you get Eren back,” she said to remind him of her purpose in attacking him.

“You can sit in the van,” Levi conceded. “But we need to find him first.”

“In a couple of hours we can go check out the security footage,” Erwin reminded him.

The next two hours were a bit awkward. The four of them sat in the living room in complete silence, not doing anything. They were all secretly hoping that at any moment Eren would walk through the door, or at least that the phone would ring and the person on the other end would give them some indication of where he was, but they knew how likely that was. So they stayed silent, until finally it was an hour after the gym’s closing time and they considered it safe to head to the gym.

Erwin and Levi were torn between leaving Armin and Mikasa at the apartment or taking them with them, but eventually decided it most likely wouldn’t be safe for them to stay alone there, and they didn’t actually have to go into the gym with them; they could stay in the car.

So after pulling into the parking lot they left the two in the car and headed to the doors. They weren’t worried about breaking in here at all. Gyms never have very great security, since they don’t ever have large amounts of cash on hand and anything expensive inside is too heavy and cumbersome to steal. Their main concerns were keeping homeless people out. It didn’t take more than a lockpicking set to get in.

The security video screens were even conveniently located in the lobby so that the person manning the front desk was also the person keeping an eye on the cameras. It was pretty much one of the easiest jobs Erwin and Levi had ever done.

They turned on the screens and went back to the video from the morning, keeping an eye on the screen for the camera outside. Eren’s alarm went off at eight every morning, so they played it safe and started the playback at 8:15. They saw people come and go, and at one point a few minutes in they saw Eren enter the gym, but then nothing out of the ordinary until 9:03.

One person matching one of the three descriptions Armin and Mikasa had given them of Eren’s new “friends” on the way here exited the gym and went around the corner. Ten minutes later, Eren could be seen on one of the inside cameras, carrying his bag and headed for the exit, but as soon as he opened the door, the camera from outside went blank.

The screen that should have shown Eren leaving the building was replaced with a white background and a phone number.

Erwin and Levi kept the video playing for a few more minutes, and it went back to normal at 9:20. Just that one bit of video had been not wiped but replaced. It was definitely a message.

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The two spies rejoined Armin and Mikasa in the car after writing down the number and headed back to the apartment. They told them what they had seen, and the car ride was dead silent after that, none of them knowing what to say.

They didn’t make the call until they were safely back at the apartment and sitting in the living room. They didn’t really think it was wise to have Armin and Mikasa sitting in, but they refused to leave and they knew they must be just as worried as them about Eren. So Levi just threatened them to be absolutely quiet and say nothing at all, and then they made the call.

Once again Erwin took the lead, putting the phone on speaker before he dialed. He only had to wait three rings before the phone was picked up.

“Erwin, Levi, I’ve been waiting to hear from you,” the man on the other end of the line said. “I believe I have something you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (P.S. just so you all know I know next to nothing about any sort of martial art. Therefore I purposefully did not include lots of details about it.)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more information comes to light, but does it bring more answers or questions?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hint: It's questions. It just brings more questions.  
> All in good time, my friends. All in good time.

When Eren woke up, he knew immediately that something was wrong. He didn’t remember falling asleep. His body ached. He couldn’t move.

He couldn’t move.

His eyes shot open to look at the dark room around him. There were three bare light bulbs doing their best to brighten the room, but the dark grey concrete walls and floors seemed to suck away any reflecting light.

Eren’s hands were still zip-tied behind him, but now they were also secured to the wooden chair he was sitting on. Each of his ankles was secured to a chair leg. He tested his restraints. He could barely move.

The room was fairly large. The size and shape reminded him of some of the classrooms at his old high school, and he thought bitterly that he’d rather be there than here, even though he’s never once in his life wished to be anywhere near that place.

There were two men in the room. When Eren remembered the events from the last morning – or when was it? How long was he out? – he squinted through the dim light to see if the men in the room were Reiner and Bert (if those were their real names), but even with their heads turned away from him Eren could tell they were different. A decade or so older, probably. Their appearances weren’t quite as distinctive as the men who had kidnapped him.

Eren felt like an idiot. He had _trusted_ them. Well, not completely. But he had been played. He had let them get close and didn’t realize anything was strange and that’s how they got him. Even when he had felt like something was off he didn’t do anything about it. And now where was he?

He had no clue. There were no windows. He couldn’t tell the time of day, and he didn’t know how long he’d been sleeping for. He didn’t know how he’d ended up asleep in the first place. He’d been shoved in the trunk of the car and then he was able to tell they were driving him around for a while, and every now and then when whoever was driving turned to harshly or hit a pothole he’d be jostled around. Maybe they hit a bad bump and he’d knocked his head. It would explain why it was throbbing.

He needed to at least figure out what these people wanted from him. He decided that his best bet would to be to try to get the two guys in the room – who looked like they were playing cards by the dim light in the room – to talk to him.

“Hey!” Eren called out, getting the men to put down their cards turn to him. “Where am I?” It was a long shot that they’d give him any useful answer, but he needed to ask it anyway.

One of the men stood and walked slowly over to Eren. As he got closer, Eren could see that he had thinning hair and that he had tough skin that looked like leather, as if he’d worked outside a lot in his life. The man knelt before Eren so his face was at the seated boy’s level. “So you’re awake, huh?”

Eren had been hoping for some sort of memorable accent that would give him a clue as to who had captured him, but the guy had none. He also didn’t seem to be answering Eren’s first question so he moved onto another. “Who are you?” he shouted again, even though the guy was right in front of him. “Why am I here?”

The man just chuckled before he stood up. “Oh, I think you know why you’re here, _boy_ ,” he said, and he grabbed Eren’s chin to force him to look up at his face.

Eren tore his chin out of the man’s grip and spat at him. “Fuck you!” he seethed, pulling at his restraints. “I don’t know anything!”

The guy slowly wiped the spit off of his face and looked down at Eren. “We’ll see if you’re still saying that in a few hours,” he said calmly.

Eren just pulled more at his restraints. “Go fuck yourselves!”

Then a fist connected with his face.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“What do you want with Eren?” Erwin asked the man on the other end of the line as calmly as he could.

“Nothing,” the man said. He sounded older, but not distinctly enough to give them any valuable information. “It’s more about what I want from you two.”

“Then why are you bringing him into this?” Erwin knew it was a stupid question, but he couldn’t help if he wasn’t thinking completely straight at the moment.

“How else am I supposed to get to you two? Besides, I knew if I took one of you, you’d never reveal anything. The two of you are too… tough. Eren, however, is just an innocent kid.” Levi nearly snapped from hearing someone other than himself calling Eren a kid. That was _his_ name for Eren, along with brat. But he managed to stay silent and just as Erwin was about to say something in response the man continued. “Well, I guess he’s not completely innocent.” That peaked Erwin and Levi’s curiosities, which the man satisfied before being asked to. “I mean, I doubt any child who escaped from his burning house and watched it burn to the ground with his mother still inside isn’t exactly… innocent.”

“How the fuck did you know that?” Levi snapped, not bothering to rely on Erwin to be the sole communicator anymore.

The man just laughed. “I know a lot of things, Levi.”

“Well then you should know exactly who you’re messing with and that you’re going to be dead here real soon.”

The man chuckled again. Fucking kidnapper thinking everything was fucking hilarious. “I guess we’ll just see about that. I suppose part of it depends on whether you’d like Eren back with his head still attached or not.”

Armin gasped. Mikasa and Levi looked like they were trying to find a way to kill the man through the phone, which Erwin was nearly crushing in his grasp.

“What do you want for him?” Erwin managed to ask through clenched teeth. He had a strong feeling that this guy didn’t just want ransom money.

“I’d be willing to make a trade,” the man said smoothly. “I get you two and he goes home alive.”

“That doesn’t seem very fair,” Erwin said, trying to negotiate. “Two of us for one of him?”

“It’s not my fault you two got attached to the same person. It’s disgusting, but it sure does make this easier.” Erwin and Levi scowled further at their relationship being called disgusting, but the man went on. “Besides, wouldn’t it be better for Eren to never see you again after this? Even if he doesn’t blame you – which he probably will, let’s be honest – he’d just be back in the same danger he’s been in while being with you. You two are ‘good’ people, you’d agree with the whole, ‘if you love somebody let them free’ thing, wouldn’t you?”

It took Erwin and Levi a moment to figure out a response. They didn’t want to admit it, but the man seemed to have a point. He was just trying to manipulate them of course, and they wouldn’t let that work on them, but maybe after this whole thing was over it _would_ be best for them to go their separate ways. So it took a short nonverbal conversation between Levi and Erwin for them to come to a decision.

“Alright,” Erwin eventually said. “We’ll do it.” Armin and Mikasa looked at the two warily, not thinking that they’d actually sacrifice themselves for Eren like this. “But first,” Erwin added, “We need proof of life. And we need to see that he is unharmed.”

The man on the phone sighed. “Well, I can give you proof of life, but my men are telling me that your Eren is not a very complicit hostage. So they have had to take certain… measures. But I can promise you he’s in one piece.”

“He’d better stay that way,” Erwin threatened.

“As long as you fulfill your end of the bargain,” the man agreed. “I’ll send you a video call tomorrow as proof of life.”

“Why not now?”

“It’s late, Erwin, shouldn’t we be getting some sleep?” the man asked, and everyone listening detested his joking tone. “Besides, I’d like some time to get to know this boy who’s become the Achilles Heel of two of the Recon Corps’ greatest agents.”

“He doesn’t know anything,” Erwin growled. “And remember you promised he’d be ok.” 

“I promised he’d be in one piece,” the man corrected. “Don’t worry, I’ll try to make sure there’s no permanent damage.”

“There’d better not be,” Erwin said. “Or else the deal’s off.”

“Now, now, Erwin, do you really think you’re in the position to make that kind of stipulation?” Erwin pursed his lips and took a deep breath, not knowing exactly how to respond. He didn’t have to, though. The man on the end of the line just said, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” and hung up.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin and Levi get their proof of life video.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing this story really fast. Like, faster than I've ever written before. I don't know why it's so easy for me to write, but oh well! I actually finished this chapter yesterday haha. It's scarily easy for me to write Eren getting completely beaten up...
> 
> ALSO! I want to put a warning here for violence and general kidnapping-type things. I wouldn't exactly call it torture, but it's nearing those lines, so I wanted to warn just in case.

Eren was tired. After that first punch he should have just shut his mouth and been a good, complicit hostage like he was supposed to be. But Eren had pride. He wasn’t going to get beat down by some random people without a fight. Except, well, he wasn’t exactly able to fight back.

His head felt like it was being crushed by a vice and he could barely see out of one of his eyes where it had swollen so badly. His arms were completely cramped from being tied behind the chair for so long and he was pretty sure he had some cracked ribs.

He was also hungry. He hadn’t eaten since the night before he’d been taken, since he normally didn’t eat until he got back from the gym. All he’d had was some black coffee that morning and then water while he was at the gym. He didn’t know exactly how long it had been, but he guessed it was at least eight hours since he woke up. He didn’t know how long he’d been asleep before that, though. It was kind of messing with him, though, not knowing if it was day or night.

He also needed to pee, badly. At one point about an hour ago he’d sucked down his pride and told one of his guards – they had changed shifts at some point a few hours ago, but Eren was too out of it to get a look outside the door in the moment it was open – that he needed to use the bathroom, but all he got was a simple, “Too bad,” in response. He was determined not to sink to peeing his pants. Not until he absolutely had to. Hopefully Levi and Erwin would get him out of here first.

Eren just wanted to sleep. He would have thought after he’d learned to shut his mouth and had stopped being beaten up that the hours of silence would bore him to sleep, but his head hurt too much, his stomach was too empty, and his bladder was too full for him to slip out of consciousness. That made it impossible to sleep, combined with the guards every so often – maybe they did it on the hour, maybe that’s how he could count the time – coming over and trying to get him to say everything he knew about Erwin and Levi, which would earn him some new bruises when he told the guy to fuck off. Even if he _did_ have something to tell them, he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t betray them. It was probably for the best that he didn’t sleep. He might have a concussion, he thought.

Then something new happened. The door opened and two new people came in, but they didn’t replace the current guards. Eren tried to get a look outside, but all he saw was another blank wall a few feet away. It must be some sort of hallway.

These people looked more professional than the others. It was another two guys – apparently whatever organization took him was very sexist – each in button-downs and slacks. One had a laptop with him. He talked with the two guards and Eren tried to understand what they were saying but his mind was feeling too foggy. He did notice that they pulled over the table the guards had been using for card games and placed it a few feet in front of him. The guy with the laptop put it down and opened it up, but he stood in front of it and Eren couldn’t see what was on the screen.

It wasn’t until there was the distinct sound of someone making a video call that the man stepped aside. Eren took his eyes off the computer and kept them on the man, not even noticing when the call got picked up.

“What?” Eren asked him, willing himself to sound tough even though his voice was scratchy. He hadn’t had any water, and so his mouth still tasted like blood from being hit in the face. “You gonna beat me up on camera? You sick fucks!” He managed to still pull at his restraints while yelling, but a voice calmed him down. It was Levi’s, and then there was Erwin’s, and they were tinny since they were through the computer and the connection was terrible but it was still _them_.

Eren turned his eyes to the computer where he saw his boyfriends’ faces pressed side by side – it was obvious they were on a phone rather than a laptop – worriedly calling his name. “Erwin,” Eren said, voice softening. “Levi.”

“Eren,” Erwin said again.

“Are you hurt?” Levi asked, even though they could see his swollen eye on the screen. He wanted to know if they had done more than that, though he was pretty sure they would have. “What have they done to you?”

Eren didn’t mean to laugh, and he didn’t mean for it to sound so dead, but he found that he couldn’t help himself. There were so many things he wanted to say. He wanted to scream because if he had never known them he wouldn’t be in this mess. He wanted to apologize for being stupid and not realizing what Reiner and Bert and Annie were up to. He wanted to break down in tears and beg them to come get him, to do whatever these people asked just so that he could get out of there.

He forced it all down and held onto his shred of dignity. He wouldn’t beg for them to give into their commands. Instead, he told his boyfriends as proudly as he could make his broken voice, “I haven’t told them anything.” He wanted to say that he wouldn’t, that he’d never give into them, but he didn’t want to make a promise he didn’t think he could keep.

Erwin and Levi weren’t as proud of Eren for that accomplishment. “Eren,” Erwin said. “Just do what they ask. Tell them everything you know, it’s ok.”

Eren shook his head the best he could do through the pain. “No,” he argued. “I’m not giving into these shitheads.”

Levi felt a little bit of pride in how Eren was doing exactly what he would have, but his concern for Eren’s wellbeing trumped that. “Eren, we’re going to get them to let you out, so just don’t fight them, ok? Try to do what they ask.”

Eren closed his eyes and tried to build the will to argue, but one of the men behind the table interrupted.

“That’s enough. You have your proof of life.”

As the man moved to close the computer, Eren heard Erwin and Levi both rush to tell Eren they love him.

The two newest men in the room packed up the computer and left, and the guards moved the table back so they could resume their card game.

Eren felt another scrap of his pride wear away as he shut his eyes tight and cried.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Of course the first thing Erwin and Levi did after the call ended was try to track it. It was the obvious thing to do, but they got the same result as they had with the call from last night – the signal had been bounced around various places so much they couldn’t tell where it came from.

They hadn’t been able to get anything from the background where Eren had been, either. No windows, cement walls, it could be any basement.

So the only thing the call had been good for – other than to make sure Eren was alive – was to get them to worry more. They hadn’t slept all night, spending the time with Armin and Mikasa trying to figure out a plan. They’d come up with nothing, and Erwin and Levi had just gotten on the phone with their colleagues and filled them in on what was going on. This was, after all, an attack on the Recon Corps, which they had needed to tell Eren’s friends about as well, though they really didn’t want to.

About fifteen minutes after the video call the phone rang again, this time with just a regular voice call from an unknown number. “Hello,” the man on the other end said as soon as Erwin picked up. It was the same man from the night before. “So, now you’ve seen that your Eren is safe, it’s time for you to fulfill your end of the bargain.”

“How do we know you’ll release him once you have us?” Erwin asked.

“We’ll bring him when we do the switch,” the man answered.

“Now that sounds a little too good to be true,” Erwin said warily.

“Well, of course, we’ll have him wired with a bomb and I’ll have a radio detonator so that if I feel that something’s not right anytime I’m still in a mile radius he’ll be blown to smithereens.”

Erwin and Levi exchanged a look. It didn’t give them a great chance, but it gave them a chance.

“Alright,” Erwin finally said. “When and where do you want to do this?”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hand-off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha thank you all for your wonderful comments! You're all so worried about the three of them! Don't worry, I can promise you there will be no major character death. Or even really minor character death. No death of named characters. For the foreseeable future. But definitely none of the main three ever. So you don't have to worry about that!
> 
> I've been getting a bunch of new followers on tumblr too and I have a feeling it's from this fic so thank you all as well! If you're not following me and you want to see me reblog random stuff that is probably 80% SNK, my blog is downtheupstairs. Also you can always send me prompts there. I want people to send me prompts. I will actually love you if you send me a prompt. I like a ton of ships so it can be like anything.

Eren had no shame left as he slumped in his chair a few hours later. He felt disgusting after having finally been forced to piss his pants and now that he had started crying tears just kept coming and coming, silently but steadily. He stayed still, pounding head drooped and eyes closed, trying to keep his breathing light because of his likely cracked ribs. He heard the door open and close but he didn’t feel like moving.

The guards must have thought he was asleep and couldn’t hear their conversation, though they whispered anyway. For the most part Eren didn’t pay attention, focusing more on the pain in his body. But then he heard something that interested him.

“No, not really,” someone said. “For some reason boss doesn’t want to kill him.”

“Dunno why,” someone else added. “Kid’s a menace. Apparently he bit one of the people who picked him up. Tore off a whole patch of skin.”

“Geez. Well, he has been a little bastard here,” the first person said.

“Yeah,” another person agreed. He lowered his voice even more, but it seemed like this guy was not extremely adept at whispering. “So why are we strapping a bomb on him if boss-“

“ _It’s not a real bomb,_ ” the first guy hissed. _“It’s just to make them think they’ll-“_

Eren accidentally shifted in his seat and the attention of everyone in the room snapped to him. He continued to pretend to be asleep, but the men must have quieted even more because after that Eren couldn’t hear anything other than murmurs. But he had heard what he needed to. He just needed to figure out a way to tell Erwin and Levi.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He thought it might have been another hour or so before he was blindfolded, untied from the chair – though they kept his hands zip-tied behind his back – and something was taped around his chest. He could barely stand on his own, so he didn’t try to fight back now, he would save his energy for trying to tell Erwin and Levi what was going on. He allowed himself to be dragged out of the room and up some stairs and then around some more before he was once again shoved in the trunk of a car.

The car ride hurt a hell of a lot more this time because of his injuries, but he was able to use the movement of the car to shrug off his blindfold. It didn’t help him at all in the car, but he wanted to be able to see his surroundings when he got out. He needed to see Levi and Erwin.

They drove for maybe an hour before they finally stopped.

Eren wasn’t let out of the car right away. There must have been some discussion or they were waiting for something, because it was about another fifteen minutes before the trunk opened.

The man who opened the trunk wasn’t any of the guards he’d seen before. He didn’t seem to realize that Eren was supposed to be blindfolded, he just roughly jerked Eren up and out of the trunk, keeping a hand on his arm to both keep him from running and to steady him on his weak legs.

The first thing Eren did was search for Erwin and Levi. He’d been driven to some sort of empty parking lot in what looked like the middle of nowhere. There was a big building at one end of it, and Eren thought maybe it was an abandoned warehouse or something along those lines. They must be on the very outskirts of the city, in the industrial area that has somewhat gone to waste since companies started moving all their manufacturing overseas.

About fifty feet away were Erwin and Levi, arms being held behind them by guys who had guns in holsters. They looked eerily calm, though their faces betrayed a bit of emotion when they saw Eren.

There were a lot more guards on Eren’s side of the parking lot. While there was just one car – Eren didn’t recognize it – by Erwin and Levi, which was presumably how they got there, there were three cars on Eren’s side. One of them was a shiny black SUV with extremely dark windows. There were also about ten guys, all armed, hanging around to make sure neither Levi nor Erwin tried anything.

Someone standing next to the SUV spoke as Eren was pulled forward and the fake bomb on his chest was revealed. “We would like to remind you that, unless you want your boy to be blown to pieces, you should cooperate completely.” To prove the point, the back window of the SUV rolled down just enough so that someone inside could hold out their hand and show off something that Eren guessed was supposed to be the detonator.

Now was his chance to do something. He pulled at the hold on his arm and tried to head to his boyfriends, yelling, “Levi! Erwin! The-“ He was cut off by a hand over his mouth that he tried to shake off. When he found that he couldn’t, he decided to try biting again. It had worked for him the last time.

As soon as he clamped down on the man’s hand, the guy pulled away, pushing Eren hard onto the asphalt without the use of his hands to break his fall. He knew he’s have some bad scratches at that, and his rib cage now felt like it was imploding, and there was some yelling from behind him, but he knew he needed to keep yelling.

“The bomb!” he called as loudly as he could. “It’s fake!” He was kicked in the side. Someone stomped on his shin and Eren thought he could hear the bone break. His already excruciating pain was just getting worse, but he just kept trying to yell the words “bomb” and “fake” until someone grabbed his head and held his jaw shut in a position that Eren couldn’t bite the man in.

But it seemed that he had done enough. Out of the corner of his eye Eren could see Erwin and Levi both get themselves out of their captors’ holds and incapacitate them, taking the guns from the men’s holsters when they finished.

The rest was a blur to Eren. There were some squealing tire sounds, and eventually the hold on his head and jaw was released as the man who had been holding him dropped to the ground beside him. Eren let his head flop to the ground and just laid there as he heard gunshots and fighting going on around him.

Eventually he was flipped over and he squinted open his eyes to see Levi kneeling over him. “It’s okay, Eren,” Levi said, “I’m going to get you out of here, okay? But I need to lift you.” He got his arms under Eren’s shoulders and knees and lifted him, and Eren thought maybe the gunfire had died down a bit, though not completely.

He was trying to be strong but Eren couldn’t help the shout of pain that he let out when Levi picked him up. He hated the look of guilt he saw on Levi’s face when he heard it. “It’s ok, hon,” Levi said as he started carrying Eren away from the gunfire.

Eren looked up at Levi. “You don’t call me hon,” he said. Levi had slowed down now, so they must be out of the line of danger. “You call me brat,” Eren eventually explained.

Levi let out a huff of laughter, said, “Ok, brat,” with a relieved smile, and leaned down enough to place a kiss on Eren’s forehead, and Eren was thinking about how Levi should be disgusted by that; he was sure his face was dirty, from blood and sweat and having fallen to the ground before. He thought how Levi should be too disgusted to carry him at all, with all the blood and the piss on his pants and everything. But he knew Levi wouldn’t be that petty at a time like this.

After kissing Eren’s forehead Levi looked up at somebody who had just called his name. “Hanji!” he replied, hurrying toward the doctor. Eren was vaguely aware of other people he didn’t know rushing past them, but Levi slowed to a stop and he saw Hanji before them.

“Let me take care of him, Levi,” the doctor said, shifting Eren into their arms, which caused some more pained grumbling from the boy. It was especially awkward with his hands still tied behind his back. “You go help Erwin.”

Eren’s eyes flew wide at the mention of his other boyfriend and he tried to look back at the fight. “Erwin!” he said, not sure if he had been hurt or not. There had been a lot of gunfire. Somebody must have gotten hit. As long as it wasn’t Levi or Erwin.

“They’ll be all right,” Hanji assured Eren, turning away from the fight and walking away, so Eren couldn’t see what was going on. “I’m taking him back to the office now,” Hanji said, and Eren assumed that the doctor was calling back to Levi, since that’s what it sounded like. “I’ll leave Moblit here to help if you need any med support.”

Levi must have nodded or in some way acknowledged that, because Hanji just picked up the pace and headed toward a nondescript white van. “Hey,” Hanji said, and Eren knew that now the doctor was talking to him. “Can you tell me your name?”

Eren’s brow furrowed in confusion at why he was being asked the question, but he answered anyway. “Eren Jeager.”

“Good,” Hanji praised. “What year is it?”

“2014?” Eren asked, still not sure what this line of questioning was for. Only in a vague part in the back of his mind did he remember that he might be getting checked for a concussion.

“Can you tell me the President’s name?”

“My head hurts…” Eren complained. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to lean his head against Hanji’s shoulder.

“Eren?” Hanji asked worriedly.

“Barack Obama,” Eren mumbled in response to the doctor’s last question, and then he slipped into unconsciousness.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren wakes up in a hospital bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay new chapter! I'm pretty much updating once a day wow. That might slow down a bit sometime soon because of essays I need to write that I am procrastinating, but I'll probably still update once every couple of days.
> 
> As always, if you notice any problems with Hanji's pronouns please tell me because I do try to reread chapters with Hanji in them to make sure I don't mess up the pronouns but I'm always afraid I'll miss something.

There were things in his nose. That was the first thing Eren noticed when he woke up. He hadn’t even opened his eyes but he could tell that there was something in each of his nostrils. It must have been some sort of tube, because he felt a thin line of cold plastic going from his nose up behind his ears, too. It took him a minute to realize it was one of those things that helped pump oxygen into sick people, and that was why there was a cold stream of air coming from the little nubs in his nose. He’d never been in the hospital for anything other than a broken bone before. He’d never had the little nub-things before, but somehow he just knew what it was. He’d seen a lot of crappy late-night soap operas before while he waited for Erwin and Levi to come home, so maybe that was why.

For that one blissful moment right when he woke up, Eren was able to just think about the little nubs providing him with fresh, clean oxygen. But then he remembered why he was where he was.

He opened his eyes. Where was he, anyway? He assumed a hospital. It looked like a hospital room, at any rate. That made sense. He wondered what all injuries he had. He thought of calling a nurse to ask, and then he thought of calling a nurse to ask for some water because wow, he was really thirsty now that he thought about it, but then he couldn’t find a call button so he decided he’d wait until someone came by. He didn’t even think of moving. The parts of his body that weren’t currently aching – which was not a large portion of his body – had a pleasant, almost numb feeling to them. And it felt like there was something hard surrounding the bottom of his right leg. He thought it was probably a cast, since he’s broken his leg before and this felt pretty similar, but checking if he was right would require moving the stack of blankets on top of him and that was just too much effort.

His mind suddenly shifted to Erwin and Levi. Were they ok? Where were they? Why weren’t they there waiting for him to wake up? He looked around the room, realizing he hadn’t bothered moving his neck in his previous inspection of the room so he had only seen about half of it. He let his head flop to the right, and, seeing nothing beside a window with the shades closed, he flopped it to the left. He managed a small smile when he saw what was waiting for him there.

Erwin was spread out in a chair, leaning back and fast asleep. It didn’t look at all like a comfortable place to sleep, especially with the man’s big frame, but he was still _there_. Eren wondered where Levi was. There was another chair a couple of feet away from Erwin, but it was empty. Had something happened to Levi? The rational part of Eren’s brain tried to tell himself that it wouldn’t be logical for Erwin and Levi to spend every minute of their days and nights in this room while Eren was asleep. The selfish part, however, wanted them to have waited here for him. Levi was probably fine, but there must have been a lot of work to do after the whole debacle. Eren wasn’t sure what all that work would entail, but he assumed they’d be trying to find out whoever took him. That would make the most sense.

But Eren was still worried about Levi, so he kept his head turned toward Erwin and tried to call to him. “Erwin!” he tried to say, but it came out in a raspy whisper. His voice didn’t want to work, probably from disuse and dryness. “Erwin!” he tried again, but to no avail. He couldn’t be loud enough to wake his sleeping boyfriend.

It turned out he didn’t have to wait very long, however, to have his needs satisfied. When he heard the door handle turn, Eren lazily turned his head back to face across the room, and in walked Levi, perfectly fine and carrying two cups of coffee. He looked tired, the rings under his eyes darker than usual and his scowl pressed even harder onto his face.

That changed, however, when he saw that Eren’s eyes were open. “Eren!” he said in a hushed voice. He rushed over and put the two coffees down on a side table before standing next to Eren’s bed. He moved as if to touch Eren’s face, but decided against it, too afraid to hurt the boy further even though it would have just been a gentle touch. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

Eren smiled tiredly, glad that both his boyfriends appeared all right, and he let his eyes slip closed because it was an effort to keep them open. “Honestly?” he asked in reply to Levi’s question. “Like a pile of crap.” Levi huffed out a laugh in response, and Eren tried to clear his throat so that it would work better. “Could you get me some water?” he eventually asked.

“Yeah, hold on,” Levi said and he left the room for a minute. When he came back in, he was being followed by a doctor.

“Eren!” Hanji called, bounding over to him with a clipboard in their hands. “How are you feeling?” They sounded way too excited for this situation.

“I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck,” Eren groaned. He loved Hanji, but right now they were just far too loud. But of course Hanji would be his doctor. Eren supposed that since this had to do with Erwin and Levi’s work, he was being treated by their people. He wondered what hospital this was.

“Well, you weren’t hit by a truck, but they sure did a number on you,” Hanji replied, and Eren could detect a note of anger in their voice, as if they wanted to kill whoever did this to him just as much as Erwin and Levi and Eren’s friends. But Hanji quickly returned to their usual demeanor and started checking Eren’s injuries and vitals.

Over in the chair, Erwin was waking up due to Hanji’s loudness. He was confused for a moment about what was going on but was out of his chair in a second when he saw that Eren was awake. Levi moved over so that the man could stand next to Eren and very gently cup Eren’s cheek in one hand. “Eren,” he said reverently as he looked down at his bruised face.

Eren smiled and pressed his cheek into Erwin’s palm, letting his eyes slip closed again. “Hello.” His voice was even raspier now and when he noticed he opened his eyes and looked over to Levi. “Could I have that water?” he asked, and Levi brought it to him. Hanji had tossed back the covers by Eren’s feet and was inspecting the leg that was in a cast. Eren reached for the water with the arm that didn’t have and IV needle in the elbow and shakily brought it to his lips. Levi kept his hand practically on the cup as he followed it to help make sure Eren didn’t spill anything. Eren gulped down half the cup before his face scrunched up.

“What’s wrong?” Erwin and Levi asked simultaneously.

“My mouth still tastes like blood,” Eren complained. “I don’t know if it’s my own or the two people I bit, either.” He definitely did not miss Levi’s look of disgusted horror.

“You bit _two_ people?” Erwin asked.

“Yeah, the first was Annie when they were taking me.” It seemed almost unreal when he thought back on it. It hadn’t truly dawned on him yet that all of the events the past few days actually did happen. They seemed almost distant right now, even though the injuries certainly hurt.

“That’s... actually kind of impressive,” Erwin said, remembering back to the patch of skin Levi had found in the alley.

Eren looked at Levi and could tell he was trying not to make a comment about how disgusting it was. “It tastes terrible, though. Is there like a mint or something I could have?”

Hanji looked up from their examination of Eren’s broken ribs, which they had been gently pushing at, causing Eren to wince. “I think I have one in my purse,” they said. “I’ll be right back.” Then Hanji rushed out of the room and down the hall.

Since the three boyfriends were alone now, Erwin took the liberty of brushing Eren’s hair out of his eyes and leaning down to give him a quick kiss as Levi gently sat down on the edge of the bed. “How are you doing?” Erwin asked as he pulled away, lightly stroking Eren’s hair, even though it was sweaty and disgusting from all he’d been through.

“I told you,” Eren said. “I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck.”

“No,” Erwin said. “I mean…” He paused to find his words.

“You went through a lot, Eren,” Levi provided. “It would be perfectly reasonable for you to be freaked out or something.”

Eren averted his eyes and stared at the IV line in his arm. “I…” he began, but he didn’t really know what he was going to say so he stopped. He thought for a minute and as he thought he could feel tears welling behind his eyes and he forced them not to fall. He made sure that when he spoke he wouldn’t show weakness. “I just want whoever did this to die,” he eventually said.

Erwin used the hand he had on Eren’s head to direct the boy to meet his eyes. Levi put a hand on Eren’s thigh on top of all the blankets covering it and started rubbing soft, comforting circles. “You can talk to us, Eren,” Erwin said. “You don’t need to act tough.”

Eren closed his eyes so he could make sure no tears escaped. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he said weakly. He didn’t want to cry about it. He didn’t want to complain because it was his own fault he’d gotten in the situation. He had trusted Reiner and Bert and Annie. He had opened himself to the opportunity. He should have been smarter. He should have been able to get out of the situation on his own, or at least have been able to do _something_. Instead he’d spent the time just sitting there and taking it because he didn’t know how to fight back. He had been worthless, and it very well could have gotten Erwin and Levi hurt.

With his eyes closed, Eren didn’t see the worried look that Levi and Erwin exchanged. “That’s ok,” Levi said, even though he didn’t actually think it was ok. “You don’t need to talk if you don’t want to.” He wanted Eren to talk, though. He knew that Eren was upset and he wanted to be able to do something about it. If Eren wouldn’t talk, though, he didn’t know how.

Eventually Eren felt sure enough he wouldn’t cry and opened his eyes again, leaning his face into Erwin’s palm, which had moved down to cup his cheek. “You guys didn’t get hurt, did you?” he asked, trying to look them over for any injuries.

“No,” Erwin said with a small chuckle. “Just some bruises, but other than that we’re fine.”

“And what about me?” Eren asked, and Hanji chose that moment to walk back in, a box of Altoids in their hand.

“You have three cracked ribs, a broken fibula, a minor concussion, some serious bruising, and some lacerations around your wrists,” Hanji rattled off as they walked over to the bed. They took an Altoid out of the box and held it out. “Open your mouth.” Eren obeyed and Hanji placed the Altoid on his tongue. They continued as they put away the Altoid box. “Thankfully your ribs didn’t puncture your lung. You got lucky there.”

“Yeah,” Eren said, going over all of the injuries he had. “Lucky.”

Hanji ignored the sarcasm and took out a small flashlight, shining it into each of Eren’s eyes. Eren winced and hissed when Hanji pulled a bit on the eye that had a shiner to open it further. “Sorry,” Hanji said. They put the flashlight away and seemed done with the examination. “Ok, so, for the next few days I’d advise you to stay away from watching television, reading, listening to anything loud, doing anything that requires a lot of concentration, and you probably want to stay away from walking or standing until your ribs heal a bit more.”

“So...” Eren said. “I can eat and sleep, and that’s it?”

“Pretty much,” Hanji replied, frowning. “Well, and you can have short conversations and things like that. I doubt Erwin and Levi are going to be leaving your side anytime soon, so at least you’ll have company.” Erwin and Levi thought about protesting about how they were being talked about as if they weren’t even there, but they knew Hanji’s statement was right so they decided against it. “How’s your head feeling, by the way?” Hanji added.

“Like I’ve been saying: run over by a truck,” Eren replied.

“Hm…” Hanji said as they thought. “Pick-up truck or semi?”

Eren thought for a minute. “Like one of those UPS trucks,” he eventually decided.

Hanji nodded. “Good, the morphine is helping somewhat.”

“This is _with_ painkillers?” Eren groaned, letting his head flop back against the bed. He couldn’t imagine what this would feel like if he didn’t have any morphine in his system. Then again, he remembered what he felt like while he was captive and thought that it probably would feel like that.

“We have you on as much morphine as we can give you,” Hanji said, anticipating the question they knew one of the three men in the room would ask, whether Eren could have more. If Eren wouldn’t have asked it, Hanji knew that either Erwin or Levi would suggest it because they couldn’t stand seeing Eren in pain. It was sweet, but the boy really should not have any more drugs in his system.

“And I suppose I’m not going home anytime soon, am I?” Eren asked.

Hanji thought about their answer for a minute, not wanting to crush the boy’s hopes. “We’ll…” they said eventually. “We’ll see how you’re doing in a few days.”

Eren frowned, but didn’t otherwise respond. Erwin and Levi were still right beside Eren, Erwin’s hand on the boy’s shoulder and Levi’s hand over the blankets on one of his legs. It was as if they needed to be touching him to remind themselves that he was there and safe.

“Well, I’m going to head out now,” Hanji said, making some last notes on the clipboard they were holding. If you need anything, send one of your manservants here to find me.” Hanji pointed to Eren’s boyfriends when they mentioned the manservants, and that was enough to get Eren to chuckle a bit.

“Will do,” Eren responded tiredly. “Thanks, Hanji.”

“No problem,” Hanji said, voice softening. “Just get better, ok?”

“I’ll try.”

Hanji nodded and then left the room. Once the doctor was gone, Eren closed his eyes. He had just woken up a little while ago and he was already tired again. It was quiet for a few minutes, Erwin and Levi both comfortingly petting him, until Erwin quietly asked if there was anything he or Levi could get for him.

“No,” Eren answered, opening his eyes. He looked between his two boyfriends and the worried looks on their faces. “What day is it?” he asked.

“It’s April twenty-fourth,” Levi said. “It’s a Thursday.”

“Oh.” He’d been taken on Monday, the twenty-first. But he didn’t know how much time he’d spent captured and how much time he’d spent unconscious after the fight. “When was the…” He didn’t really know what to call it. “The shootout thing?”

“Tuesday afternoon,” Erwin answered.

“Ok,” Eren said, mentally putting together a sequence of events. So he’d been asleep for over a day. “What time of day is it?”

“It’s about nine a.m.” Levi answered. He and Erwin patiently waited while Eren fit together pieces of what happened.

After a few minutes Eren looked up at his boyfriends. “Who was it who took me?”

Erwin and Levi had been hoping to put off this conversation until Eren was feeling better, especially because of his concussion. They still tried to do so.

“We can discuss this later,” Erwin said, stroking his hand through Eren’s hair. “When you’re feeling better.”

“I want to know now,” Eren argued, his voice sounding firm for the first time since he woke up.

“There’s a lot we’ll have to explain, Eren,” Levi said. “It’ll be easier when you’re more able to concentrate. You look like you’re about to fall asleep again any minute.”

“Explanations can wait,” Erwin added. “You should focus on getting better.”

“Then give me the short version now,” Eren said. “I think I have a right to know.”

_That_ certainly stung Erwin and Levi. They looked at each other and sighed. Levi was the one who decided to explain. “A group called the Titans. It’s a drug cartel that we’ve spent the last few years trying to bring down.”

Eren nodded and closed his eyes, glad that he at least now had a name to put to his captors. “Why did they want you?” he asked, keeping his eyes closed now that he was fairly certain he would get answers.

“Probably to interrogate us and then kill us.” Eren made a face at Erwin’s last couple of words, but made no other indication of how painful the thought of the two of them sacrificing their lives for him was. “The two of us especially have been thorns in their side for a while now. They must have somehow discovered our identities and figured that the best way to get to us would be through you.”

“They were right about that,” Levi mumbled, and Eren didn’t know how to respond to that.

A new question came to mind, however. “Why didn’t they want to kill me?” he asked.

“Well, the fake bomb was probably because—“ Levi started, but Eren cut him off.

“No, it wasn’t just that. They said that their boss didn’t want me dead. That’s why they used a fake bomb. They thought I was asleep and I overheard them talking about it.”

When he didn’t receive any response Eren opened his eyes to find Erwin and Levi looking confused. “What?” he asked. He had assumed they would know the reasoning behind them wanting him alive.

“I have no clue,” Erwin said quietly as he still thought of why they might not want to kill Eren. Realistically, they should have no problems with it. He was just a bystander. The Titans have never had a problem with killing innocent people before, so he didn’t know why they would start. Especially since they hadn’t been wearing masks and had let Eren see their faces; normally that was a sign that they weren’t planning on letting the victim live long enough to testify. “It doesn’t make sense…” He looked up at Eren again, deciding to drop the subject for now and worry about it later. “We’ll look into it later,” he told the boy. “How about you get some more rest?”

Eren closed his eyes again and nodded, letting himself drift off again, comforted by the knowledge that Erwin and Levi would still be right there when he woke up.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some discussions are had. Some tears are shed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I broke my chapter-a-day streak! I probably will continue to do so; I have three papers coming up and then exams. And I'm applying for internships at the same time (and one of my papers is, ironically, on how terrible internships are for the economy and our generation). 
> 
> Anyway, a significant portion of this chapter was because of my desire for Panera mac 'n cheese. Oh god do I want Panera mac 'n cheese. So bad. So, so bad. Also, dumplings. They do not have those at Panera, but they have them at the Chinese restaurant a block down from the closest Panera to me, and I want them. I want food. I am hungry. 
> 
> Back to the point, some people have been asking for a look into how Eren met Erwin and Levi, so I'm thinking that eventually (keyword: eventually) I'll write a sort of prequel that goes into that. 
> 
> Ok, that's all for now. Go on and read the chapter. I'm looking forward to your reactions. heheheh

When he woke again, Eren found that Levi had pulled up a chair to the side of the bed and had fallen asleep, head on his arms, by his side. Eren smiled at the site – Levi really looked adorable when he was asleep. His expression would soften from the naturally critical one he wore when he was awake, and there was something special about seeing him so unguarded. It was cute, and Erwin and Eren both thought so. They would make comments to each other about how adorable and kitten-like sleeping Levi was, but they never dared mention it to the man himself. They knew he would not react kindly to being called “cute.” They’d both made the mistake before.

After a few moments of staring at Levi’s sleeping face, Eren heard the sound of a shuffling newspaper and looked to the other side of his bed, where Erwin had set his chair a couple of feet away and was reading the paper.

“G’morning,” Eren said quietly to get Erwin’s attention.

The man lowered his newspaper and looked over at Eren. Seeing that he was awake, Erwin folded up the paper and left it on the chair when he stood. He walked to Eren’s side and leaned down to place a kiss on his forehead. “Good afternoon,” he said, speaking quietly as well so they didn’t wake Levi.

“What time is it?” Eren asked.

“About four.”

“Oh. Good afternoon, then,” Eren corrected from his first statement.

Erwin smiled and ran his hand through Eren’s hair. “How are you feeling?”

Eren considered the question shortly. “Still pretty crappy,” he decided. “And kind of hungry. I don’t think I’ve eaten in… four days?”

“Do you want me to go get you some food?” Erwin asked. “I’ll need to ask Hanji if there are any restrictions on what you can have first, but I could run out and get something after I get an answer.”

“And save me from the delicacies of hospital food?” Eren joked.

“Well,” Erwin said, and Eren was immediately confused by his tone. “You’re not exactly in the hospital,” he eventually explained.

“What?” Eren asked. “Then where am I?”

“It’s…” Erwin paused as he thought how to describe it. “Basically it’s our office building. You’re in the medical ward.”

Eren thought about asking why an office building would have a medical ward, but then he remembered exactly what Erwin and Levi did for a living and it made sense. If people were getting injured a lot, it’d be easiest to treat them at their own facility where no one would ask questions about why they were there. “So,” Eren said after some thought. “I finally get to see where you guys work, huh?”

Erwin chuckled. “It’s not that exciting. Contrary to what you might expect, our offices are just like normal offices. We have desks and computers and paperwork like everyone else. Of course, we also have an armory and a shooting range, but most days we’re doing research or in meetings.”

“Stop trying to make your lives seem boring,” Eren chastised. “It’s not going to make me any less interested in what you’re doing. Especially now.” As if to emphasize his point, Eren winced when he shifted and a stab of pain shot through his ribs.

Erwin sighed. “I know. But we can save that conversation for when you’re more healed.” Before Eren could argue the point, he took out his cell phone and started texting. “I’m going to ask Hanji about food for you. Then I can go get something for the three of us. We’ll just have an early dinner.”

“Did you stay here all day?” Eren asked.

Erwin gave him a look that said ‘what do you think?’ as he finished his text.

“Have you left at all?”

“There were a couple of work things we needed to take care of, but for the most part, no.”

Eren frowned. On the one hand, he was glad that they had stayed with him as much as possible so that he wouldn’t have had to wake up alone. On the other hand, he was worried about how the two of them were doing. “What about sleep?”

Erwin bit his lip as he hesitated to answer, which he rarely ever did. “We slept here,” he said, nodding to Levi as an example.

“That’s not good for you,” Eren complained.

“Well, we weren’t very tired,” Erwin admitted. “Until we knew you were completely ok…” he trailed off, allowing Eren to fill in the rest in his mind. Until they knew he was completely ok, they were too worried to sleep.

Eren looked at Levi, so still in his sleep. “I know the feeling,” he said, almost to himself. He didn’t intend for the words to be hurtful, but he could tell by Erwin’s silence that he had touched a nerve. They were silent until Levi shifted in his sleep, drawing their attention. Eren smiled. “He’s so cute,” he whispered, partially to lighten the mood, and he could feel Erwin smile in agreement.

“I can hear you,” Levi mumbled, eyes still closed. Eren and Erwin just laughed, loud enough that Levi grumbled and opened his eyes. “You’re in a better mood,” he mumbled to Eren.

Eren shrugged. “My head doesn’t hurt quite as much.”

Erwin’s phone vibrated and he checked it. “Hanji says you can have whatever you want. Do you want anything in particular?”

“Um…” Eren tried to think of what kinds of food existed. For some reason, he wasn’t able to think of food. What was a kind of food? He didn’t remember. “I don’t know. You choose.”

“There’s like a Subway, a Taco Bell, Wendy’s, Panera…” Erwin listed off, not wanting to completely decide for Eren.

“Oh!” Eren exclaimed. “Mac n’ cheese from Panera please,” he requested.

Erwin smiled. “Sounds good. Levi, do you want anything?”

“Just that apple salad thing they have,” he said.

“Alright.” Erwin leaned down to kiss Eren and then Levi before he said he’d be back shortly and left.

After Erwin left, Levi stretched out his achy bones from sleeping in such an odd position. He yawned as he did so, still tired, and Eren reached out and grabbed his hand. “Come lie down,” he told Levi, scooting over and patting the small area of bed on his right side. Levi was currently on his left side, but his broken ribs were on the left so it’d be more comfortable if Levi lied down on the other one. Levi obeyed the command and walked around the bed before gently figuring out how to lie down while barely touching Eren at all, afraid of hurting him. Eren, however, was having none of that, and he managed to move his arm – even though it was the one with the IV line – around Levi’s shoulders and pulled him in so that Levi was cuddled to his side. Even though it was slightly more painful to have Levi right next to him, Eren needed the contact. He kissed Levi’s hair and left his hand on Levi’s ribcage, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing. He didn’t miss how, even though his head was already half-resting on Eren’s chest, Levi smoothed his hand right over Eren’s heart, needing to both hear and feel its slow beating. It was slower than usual, Levi thought, thinking back on times where they’d cuddled before bed, but he supposed that had to do with the morphine in his system.

They laid there in silence for a few minutes, caught up in their own thoughts, before Levi broke it. “I’m sorry,” he said, and Eren could tell it had been something he’d been thinking about saying for a while now. Levi didn’t often apologize, and even more rarely was it so explicit. So for him to say the words unprompted meant that Eren could barely begin to fathom the amount of guilt the man was feeling.

Eren wanted to say it wasn’t his fault, but he knew that it would be a lie. The truth was that this all _was_ because of Erwin and Levi. It was a danger of being associated with them. So Eren changed the phrasing. “I don’t blame you.”

“If it wasn’t for us-“ Eren felt Levi’s hand tense up on his chest as he began to berate himself.

“I knew the risks, Levi,” Eren interrupted, not wanting to let Levi scold himself for this. “I knew it could happen, but I still decided to be with you.” There was a long moment then where an unspoken tension hung in the air, but within a second it was broken. “And I still am with you.”

Levi let out a small sigh of relief for having his worries assuaged, a worry he hadn’t even given much thought to before that small second of tension. But he still had to give Eren the option of leaving. He didn’t want him to feel bound to them for any reason. “After all you’ve been through,” he said carefully, keeping his head on Eren’s chest because there was no way he could say this while looking at his eyes. “It would be understandable if you wanted some space.”

Eren tightened the arm he had around Levi to try to bring the man closer, though in the position they were in it didn’t work very well. “Levi,” he said, voice stern. “I love you. And I love Erwin. It’s going to take a lot more than some guys beating me up to change that. Aren’t you the one who’s always calling me a stubborn brat?” Levi huffed a laugh into Eren’s chest in agreement, and Eren smiled. “So I’m going to keep being a stubborn brat and I’m going to stay with you two no matter what.” There was a moment where Eren wondered if he should add, ‘that is, if you still want me,’ but he decided not to. If they didn’t want him, they would have to come out and tell him. He didn’t want to open that door himself. And he didn’t want to doubt them. So he remained silent.

“I’m just wondering,” Eren said after a few minutes. “What was the plan before you knew the bomb was a fake?”

“We were going to go with them,” Levi answered, and he continued before Eren could give the objection he was bound to give. “They told us the bomb’s detonator had a one-mile radius, so we had our people stationed at all available exits just outside of that. They would have gotten us out. We were mostly worried they would kill you even if we cooperated, though it ended up being the other way around. So we managed to get Hanji and one of our techs hidden in the warehouse so that as soon as they were out of sight they could come help you.” Levi frowned. “It was a risky plan, though. Nobody was happy about it, but we didn’t have any other choice.”

“You could have let them have me and saved yourself,” Eren said, though he knew Levi would object.

Predictably, Levi snapped, “You know that wasn’t an option.” He then softened and said, “Our only goal was to get you out alive.”

“I don’t like that goal,” Eren said simply. “You two needed to come back, also.”

“Well, we did,” Levi said so as not to take the argument any further. What mattered was what happened, not what could have happened. He played with the pale blue fabric of Eren’s hospital gown and decided to change the subject. “By the way, I hope you weren’t too attached to the clothes you had been wearing,” he said. They had had to cut them off in order to treat his wounds, particularly the shirt because of the fake bomb duct-taped to it.

“No,” Eren said, and Levi felt the boy tense underneath him. He looked up to try to figure out why. The boy looked pained. “I don’t think I’d… I mean… especially the pants…”

Ah. So _that’s_ what this was about. Levi carefully turned and moved up a bit on the bed so that he could cup Eren’s cheek and look right at him. “Eren,” he said quietly but sternly. “You don’t need to be ashamed of anything you did or anything that happened to you there, ok?”

Eren nodded and bit his lip, but Levi could tell he was on the brink of tears. He moved up further on the bed so that he could hold Eren’s head to his chest, though it was a bit of an uncomfortable position for him. His own comfort didn’t matter now, though; he needed to take care of Eren. He cradled Eren’s head and the boy finally started crying. “It’s ok,” Levi comforted. “You can cry. It’s ok.”

And he did. Eren didn’t really know why, but he cried. Levi sat there, cradling his head and stroking his hair and whispering words of comfort. He remembered the first time he had been tied up and beaten, all the way back when he was a teenager. He remembered being terrified. He remembered the shame. And he wished that he knew how to help Eren through this, but he really didn’t. In his own case, he’d just internalized it all and let it brew until he’d had the chance to kill all the people who had done it. It wasn’t exactly the healthiest thing to do. So he just sat there and let Eren cry into his shirt, feeling him wince whenever he hiccupped and his ribs were jostled.

A few minutes later, when Eren was calming down and the tears were coming slower, there was a soft knock at the door before someone entered. Eren looked up, expecting it to be Erwin with the food, but instead he found a girl with short ginger hair. She was carrying a small duffel bag and she hesitantly entered, but when she saw Eren’s tearful face she started to back out, saying, “Sorry, I can come back later.”

Levi was going to let her do as she said, not wanting to bother Eren, but then Eren said, “No, it’s okay,” as he was sniffling and wiping off his face, and Petra looked to Levi for confirmation and he nodded, deciding that it wouldn’t take very long so it didn’t really matter.

Petra entered the room and put the bag down on the table. “I brought you both a change of clothes and another toothbrush like you asked,” she said, and Eren knew that she meant Levi and Erwin rather than Levi and him when she was talking about ‘both’ of them. “Oh!” she added, remembering something. “And a new phone for the three of you.” She reached into her purse and pulled out three identical phones. “We’ll probably get you two new work phones also, since we’re not sure if they got those numbers, but that’ll take a couple more days so for now keep using the ones you have.”

Levi took the phones and put them on the table next to the bag. “Thank you, Petra,” he said.

“No problem.” She glanced at Eren but tried not to focus on how he had obviously just been crying before looking back at Levi. “Is there anything else I can do?”

“We’re ok,” Levi said, stroking his fingers through Eren’s hair even though it was covered in sweat.

Petra just nodded and left the room, but as soon as she left Erwin came in. When he saw Eren’s tear-streaked face he quickly put the bags of food and a tray with coffee on the table and put a hand to Eren’s cheek. “Are you okay?” he asked, half-looking at Levi as he did so.

“Yeah,” Eren said, wiping off the last of his tears and moving to sit up. Levi moved to stand but kept a hand on Eren’s shoulder to comfort him. Eren looked at his two boyfriends and knew they wanted him to talk more, but that made him want to talk less. “Can we just eat please?”

Erwin and Levi weren’t particularly happy about it, but they agreed. They cleared off the table to they could move it to cover Eren’s lap, and Erwin and Levi pulled up their chairs on either side so they could all eat. The mac n’ cheese and coffee really hit the spot, and since he hadn’t eaten for so long Eren scarfed down his food so fast that Erwin and Levi were only halfway through eating by the time he’d finished.

Eren just relaxed and sipped his coffee when he was done. He was getting tired again, so he’d probably need to go back to sleep soon even though he’d only been awake a little more than an hour. He had a headache, anyway, and the prospect of just lying in the dark doing nothing seemed a good one.

However, he was interrupted from his planned sleep by Levi putting one of the phones Petra had brought in front of him and saying, “By the way, you should call Mikasa and Armin. They’ve been worried and I’m sure they’d like to hear from you.”

Eren picked up the phone and looked at it for a moment before switching his gaze back to Levi. “What exactly do they know?” He wanted to know if there were any lies he’d have to go along with. He never liked lying to Armin and Mikasa, and they always seemed to know when he wasn’t telling them the whole truth, but it wasn’t something he could easily get around.

Erwin and Levi exchanged a look that created a sudden pit in Eren’s stomach before Erwin spoke. “We had no choice but to tell them, Eren.”

“Tell them _what_ , exactly?” Eren said through his teeth, feeling his temper rising.

“When we didn’t know where you were we called them to make sure you weren’t there. And then… it was only fair for them to know you were missing, Eren. You keep saying that they’re practically family. Don’t you think they deserved to know?”

“You got them involved in this?!” Eren asked, voice rising.

“Not… especially,” Levi said.

“What do you mean, ‘not especially’?” Eren growled.

Erwin took a deep breath and sighed. “Mikasa… insisted she come with us to help get you back.”

“And you _let_ her?!” Eren shouted, no longer caring about trying to keep calm. The only reason he wasn’t storming around in a rage was because of his injuries.

“She was very persuasive; she beat up Levi,” Erwin said, trying to defend their actions and calm Eren down.

“It’s still not okay!” Eren yelled. “You’re the ones who’ve been going on and on about how dangerous it is to know, and then this situation just _proves_ that, and yet you told them anyway! You got them involved! They could get hurt!”

“We didn’t have a choice, Eren,” Levi said sternly. “Besides, if it weren’t for Armin we might not have figured out who had taken you.”

“That doesn’t matter!” Eren said, exasperated. He could feel himself tearing up again, but this time they were tears of anger. He tried to take a few deep breaths to calm down but found himself unable to do so with Erwin and Levi looking at him like that, like they were sorry but at the same time they weren’t. “I think you should go,” Eren eventually said quietly.

“I’m sorry?” Erwin asked, not sure if he’d heard Eren correctly, or rather just hoping that he hadn’t.

Eren glared at Erwin. “I want to be alone.”

Levi and Erwin exchanged another long look, this time trying to see if the other had any ideas of what to do to make this better, but neither of them came up with anything. So they slowly stood, and Erwin leaned over to kiss Eren’s forehead even though he tried to turn his face away, saying, “We really are sorry.” Levi took Eren’s hand in his own and gave it a light squeeze before letting go again, and then he and Erwin reluctantly left the room, leaving Eren to let go of his tears on his own.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren broods. Hanji is (once again) the voice of reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who don't know, I am a super smart person so I started ANOTHER FANFICTION and I decided to do so ONLY TWO WEEKS BEFORE FINALS. So, updates here might be even more spread out. But seeing as that's coming from a period where I posted a chapter a day, I still think it's pretty fair.
> 
> Anywho, here's a chapter. That's all I'm gonna say.
> 
> Oh, but if anybody wants to suggest future nicknames Hanji gives Eren, I could use some suggestions.

Eren only cried for a couple of minutes. He didn’t want to cry at all, but he had just been so angry. As much as it would be great to be able to be totally honest with Mikasa and Armin now, he didn’t want them getting into trouble. He didn’t want them at risk. And yet, without asking him, Erwin and Levi got them involved. He knew they didn’t have much of a choice in the matter; they would have demanded answers if Erwin and Levi just called them out of the blue and asked if they knew where he was, so the only option would be for them to not have called at all, which Eren would have preferred, but he could see how maybe his boyfriends were trying not to freak out right away and assume the worst. But everything that he had just been through… he didn’t want to risk Armin or Mikasa going through that either. So yeah, he was pissed. He just felt bad about being pissed because he knew it wasn’t completely Erwin and Levi’s fault.

Once he calmed down, Eren looked at the phone he was still holding that Levi had given him earlier. He turned it on and dialed Mikasa’s number, glad that he had it memorized from years of using her as his emergency contact before he moved in with Erwin and Levi. The phone rang a few times before Mikasa picked up.

“Hello?” she asked, and it took Eren a moment to remember that because this was a new number his name wouldn’t have shown up on her caller ID.

“Hi,” Eren said. “It’s me.”

“Eren!” she said, relieved. “Are you okay?”

“I’m a little beat up,” he replied. “But nothing too bad.”

“You didn’t look very good when I saw you.”

“Yeah, I- Wait. When did you see me?”

Mikasa didn’t answer.

“Mikasa?” Eren asked. “Why aren’t you answering?”

The girl hesitated another moment before answering. “Well, when Dr. Hanji brought you to the van I was kind of there waiting.”

“Tell me you never got out of the van,” Eren demanded.

“I… it was only for a couple of seconds.”

“Mikasa!”

“I was making sure you got back safely, Eren! I didn’t get hurt!”

“At least tell me Armin wasn’t there too.”

“No,” Mikasa assured him. “He stayed back at base.”

Eren didn’t really know what she meant by base, but he assumed it meant he was out of the line of danger. He was still pissed, though. “You shouldn’t have gone with them, ‘Kasa. I’m sure they could have handled it just fine.”

“I needed to make sure you were safe, Eren,” she insisted again. “I don’t care how many Recon Corps people were there; I wasn’t going to sit back and do nothing when you were getting hurt hurt.”

“Recon Corps…?” Eren questioned, but ultimately decided to leave that for another time. “You should have, though,” he told Mikasa. “What if both of us had gotten hurt? What if you had gotten killed?”

“I didn’t, though,” Mikasa argued.

“Just… I don’t like this, ‘Kasa,” Eren said. “I never wanted you to know about this. I didn’t want to put you guys at risk.”

“We’ll be fine, Eren,” Mikasa said. “As long as you’re safe.”

“But it’s never _really_ safe, Mikasa!” Eren said, exasperated. “And now it’s not for you, either!”

“Don’t worry about that, Eren,” Mikasa told him. “We’re not in that much danger, and if anything happens we’ll handle it. What matters is that we got you back.”

Eren just let out a frustrated sound and said, “Fine. Whatever.”

“I’ll come visit you soon,” Mikasa promised.

“I’m… I don’t know if that will work,” Eren said. “I mean, I’m not in the hospital, I’m at Erwin and Levi’s office. They have a medical ward.”

“Yeah, I know. But can’t you see if there’s a way for Armin and I to visit?” Mikasa asked. “It’s not like we don’t know the place exists.”

Eren sighed. “I’ll ask about it.” That meant he’d have to talk to Erwin and Levi about it, and he didn’t really feel like talking to them, but he figured that he wouldn’t be able to avoid talking with them forever anyway. And maybe he could ask Hanji. They might be able to work it out.

“Ok,” Mikasa said. “Are you sure you’re ok?” She had picked up on his exasperated tone.

“Yeah,” Eren lied. “I’m just tired.”

“I’ll let you sleep then.”

“K. Bye.”

“Bye.” Mikasa hesitated before pressing the end button. “Eren?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for getting out ok.”

Eren paused, surprised, but eventually returned, “No problem. Same to you.”

“Ok. Bye.”

“Bye.” Then Mikasa finally hung up, and Eren put the phone down on the table. He closed his eyes and lay back with the intention of just resting a bit, but before he knew it he’d fallen back asleep.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Eren woke up again, Hanji was checking his vitals. It probably wasn’t a coincidence that he woke up while they were there; Hanji was humming some obnoxious song and wasn’t being particularly quiet about it.

They noticed Eren’s waking right away and Eren got the feeling that Hanji might have been trying to wake him up. “Ah! Great! You’re up!” they said. “How are you feeling?”

“About the same level of crappiness,” he groaned, rubbing his non-swollen eye to get out the sleep.

“Hm,” Hanji said. “Okay. Well, your morphine drip is still going strong. The only thing now that’ll help the pain is time.”

“Gee,” Eren said sarcastically. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Hanji said in that way they did where Eren didn’t know if they hadn’t understood the sarcasm or just chose to ignore it. But Eren didn’t have much time to think about it because Hanji was suddenly pulling up a chair to Eren’s bedside and sitting down, turning over their clipboard on their lap so Eren knew this wasn’t about business. “Now,” Hanji said. “About Erwin and Levi.”

Of course. Hanji was never one to beat around the bush.

“What,” Eren deadpanned.

“Now Eren, sugarcakes,” Hanji said. “I know that you’re upset about them telling your friends about what we do here.” Eren wondered if Erwin and Levi had told Hanji what was going on or if the doctor just knew in the way that they seemed to know everything. “But you’ve got to understand that they had no choice.”

“I _know_ that,” Eren said. “I’m just… I needed to be alone for a little bit.”

“I know honeybun. But those two are out in the hallway pacing and biting their nails like fathers who’re too scared to be with their wife in the delivery room.”

“Why?” Eren asked. “It’s not like I’m going to die or anything in here.” He couldn’t see why they’d be so worried about him when he was on the mend.

“Oh butterbiscuit,” Hanji sighed, and Eren wondered where they came up with all of these nicknames and thought about how they were getting more and more creative. “They’re not worried about your _health_. They’re worried you’re going to break up with them. Now, they won’t actually say that out loud because they’re big strong emotionally constipated men, but it’s the truth.”

“I just told them like, a few hours before this that I wasn’t going to, though,” Eren argued.

“That’s not going to stop our sweet Erwin and Levi from being insecure. Do you even know how much power you have over those two? I swear, you could tell them you’ve always wanted to be an astronaut and in two days you’d find yourself on the ISS.”

Eren thought about this. He knew the two loved him, but he still found it hard to think of them as insecure. They always seemed confident. He sighed. “Okay. Could you go get them for me?”

“Sure thing, moonpie,” Hanji said, patting his leg and standing.

“Stop with the food names, Hanji,” Eren joked as the doctor left the room. “You’re just making me hungry.”

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Erwin and Levi knocked on the door and hesitantly entered the room a minute later. They stood by the door, not sure if they were welcome any closer.

“I’m still angry,” Eren said as means of greeting. Erwin and Levi both looked chastised. “But I understand that you didn’t really have a choice.”

Erwin was the first one to step closer, going right up to Eren’s side and saying, “We’re sorry. Really.”

Levi followed, but as usual he didn’t make any apology himself. He let Erwin’s speak for both of them.

“Okay,” Eren said in acceptance of the apology. Erwin leaned down and kissed Eren, and Levi took his turn afterwards. “Could you put on some music?” he then asked. He wasn’t quite tired enough to sleep again, but there wasn’t really anything else he could do.

“Any specific genre?” Erwin asked.

“I dunno. Something slow. Quiet.”

Erwin pulled up some soothing classical music that he had on his phone, the stuff that Eren and Levi always mocked him for being an old man about. Eren sighed as it started playing and closed his eyes. Erwin left his phone at Eren’s side as he sat back down in one of the chairs. Levi went to go sit in the other one, but Eren grabbed his hand and said, “Wait. Lie with me.” Levi complied and Eren looked over at Erwin apologetically. “Sorry,” he said, chuckling a bit. “But that’s what you get for being an actual giant.” Levi snuggled up to him, making sure that Eren was in a comfortable position still, and they all just listened to the music. Even though he’d thought he wasn’t tired anymore, it didn’t take Eren more than half an hour to fall back asleep.

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When he woke, Levi was still snuggled into his side, but looking around the room Eren saw that Erwin was gone. Levi was awake, so Eren asked where the man had gone.

“He had some work he had to take care of,” Levi said, then he paused to yawn. “He’ll be back in a little bit.”

“Okay,” Eren hummed, letting himself relax into Levi’s warmth and the way the man started playing with his hair.

A couple minutes later, there was a buzz. Levi pulled a phone from his pocket and looked at it, getting a confused look on his face. He pulled his other hand away from Eren’s hair to type a message, and the phone buzzed again in just a few seconds. Levi frowned. “There’s something I have to take care of,” he said, and then added with more anger in his voice, “Apparently it can’t wait.” He brushed some hair away from Eren’s face and asked, “Will you be okay? I’ll try to make it quick.”

Eren nodded. “I don’t need a twenty-four hour guard,” he said, smiling. “I’ll be fine.”

Levi kissed Eren and got out of the bed. “Yell for somebody if you need anything, ok? Or call one of us.” He kissed Eren again before he left the room.

It didn’t take more than a minute for Eren to get bored being there alone. He closed his eyes to try to go back to sleep, but for once he was completely rested and unable. He was about to see if he could get some music on his new phone when there was a knock at the door.

The person didn’t enter right after knocking, so Eren knew it wasn’t Erwin, Levi, or Hanji. Confused, he called out, “Come in!”

The man who walked in was tall, with a shiny bald head and a gray mustache. His face was wrinkled but he managed to still look young as he closed the door behind him and walked to the end of Eren’s bed.

“Eren,” he said with a smile. “My name is Dot Pixis. I’d like to make you an offer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hanji's dialogue will forever be my favorite to write. I'm so tempted to have them in just every single conversation ever.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren contemplates the offer, and gets more visitors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to write! Finals are coming up and so I've got papers to write, and I've also been distracted writing I Can't See My Way Out (which you should check out hint hint). This chapter was also just giving me a lot of trouble to write. But here it is!

Eren waited for the man to explain. He didn’t look like he was going to hurt him, but… he was in a bit of a compromising position here. With a broken leg and three broken ribs, it wasn’t like he could run if the guy tried to do anything. His phone was on the table. He reached out and grabbed it, prepared to call for help should he need it.

Pixis just laughed. “I’m not going to hurt you, Eren,” he said, bouncing on his toes. “In fact, I’m quite impressed with you.”

“Impressed?” Eren asked as Pixis moved to the window in the room and opened the blinds to look out. The window was against the same wall as the head of the bed, so Eren hadn’t been able to look out of it, but Pixis seemed intrigued by the view through it.

“Yes,” Pixis said. “Not many people without training would be able to put up with interrogation like that and still refuse to give their captors any information. You’re very determined.”

Eren was confused. Did this guy just come here to compliment him? And he just so happened to come during the one moment where Erwin and Levi were both out of the room. That couldn’t be a coincidence. “What do you want?” he asked, trying to get to the point.

Pixis turned from the window and walked to Eren’s bedside. “I want you to join us. Work for Recon Corps.”

“Why would I do that?”

The man chuckled again. “Well, beside the fact that you’re currently unemployed after missing over a week of work without notice-“ Eren had not known that. This man knew more about Eren than he did himself, and that was worrisome. “You’d also be working with Erwin and Levi. Aren’t you curious as to what they do?” Pixis asked. “If you worked here, they’d be able to share everything with you. No secrecy." He paused. "Also, you’re a righteous young man. You’d be helping take down bad guys – drug cartels, human traffickers, illegal arms dealers. You’d be helping your country. And of course on top of that there’s the salary.”

Eren couldn’t help but think about the offer. It would be nice not to be out of the loop when it came to Erwin and Levi’s work, but then again after all that happened he didn’t think he would be very much anymore anyway. The money and the good work did seem tempting, though… But then he thought about what he’d been doing. What he’d just been through. If he accepted this offer, he had a feeling that he’d have to go through that and more a lot more often. He didn’t think he could do that. He wanted justice, yeah. He wanted answers, too. He wanted to know why they wouldn’t kill him, who was behind it all. But he couldn’t willingly submit himself to that again. Even without thinking about how Erwin and Levi would both throw a fit if he started working there – not because they didn’t want to share their secrets with him but because they wanted Eren _out_ of danger and working at Recon Corps would be doing the exact opposite – Eren knew that he couldn’t accept this offer.

“I’m sorry,” he told Pixis. “I can’t.”

Pixis hummed and gave Eren a long look, as if he was trying to read his mind to find out why he’d rejected the offer. Eventually he just smiled and said, “No problem.”

He then reached down and took the phone out of Eren’s hand. Eren started to protest, but Pixis just unlocked it and began typing something. “Don’t worry, Eren, I’m just making sure you have my number. In case you change your mind.” He winked and then put the phone down on the table. “Feel better!” he cheerily said, and then, as quickly as he had entered, he left.

Eren picked up his phone and found the new contact. Dot Pixis.

What the hell had just happened?

 

* * *

 

He decided not to tell Erwin and Levi what happened when they came back. Pixis had never specifically said that he shouldn’t, but he felt that it was implied, particularly in the way that he had been so careful to come when the two of them weren’t there. He wasn’t taking the job anyway, so it wasn’t important, right? Nothing had actually changed.

Instead, when the two of them were back from whatever work they’d needed to do, and after Levi complained for fifteen minutes about being called away to do something completely useless that could definitely wait, unlike he had been told, Eren decided to broach the topic of Mikasa – and probably Armin, as well – visiting.

They were surprisingly easygoing about it. Apparently, the two of them just needed to be background-checked before they were allowed to come and then go through a couple metal detectors once they got there. Eren thought that background checks normally took a few weeks, but apparently they had ways of getting them done in just a couple of days.

Eren continued to slowly recover over the next few days. Mikasa and Armin were scheduled to visit soon, and Hanji allowed him to start gradually doing more as his concussion healed. He still couldn’t really stand, because his ribs were still too bad, but at least he was allowed to watch TV so he wasn’t quite as bored. He loved Erwin and Levi, but there’s only so much time you can spend just talking with people. They did tell him more about Recon Corps, at his prodding. They told him about why the Titans were so hard to bring down – how they functions almost like a corporation, having smaller gangs pushing their drugs, which are provided by larger gangs, and so on, almost a pyramid scheme with the top dogs being so protected that the Recon Corps didn’t even know who they were. They told Eren about the drug they’ve engineered to get you hooked as soon as possible and keep needing more and more until you inevitably overdose. They told him about all the corruption going on that’s helping the Titans cover up all these deaths so that the public doesn’t start freaking out about it. They were honest and answered as many of Eren’s questions as they could.

Everything was fine until Eren was sleeping. He wasn’t sleeping quite so much anymore, and he wasn’t on as strong a dose as morphine, but now his sleep was restless. Levi would always lie next to him and hold him as he slept, but that didn’t keep away the nightmares.

The first time it happened, Erwin and Levi freaked out. Levi was half asleep next to Eren and Erwin was nearby in his chair when they noticed Eren’s movements. He was twitching and his eyes were shut tight. It seemed as if he’d be kicking and flailing if his injuries would allow him. As it was, he started shaking his head and muttering, whimpering nonsense. When they managed to make out the words “no” and “stop,” they knew they had to wake him. Erwin came over to stand next to the bed and Levi leaned up and cupped Eren’s face, trying to stop him from flailing so much.

“Eren,” Levi said. “Eren, wake up. It’s okay. You’re just having a nightmare.” Erwin felt useless as Levi woke him, but he didn’t want to overwhelm Eren by having the both of them crowding his vision when he woke up.

After a minute Eren’s eyes shot open and he took in a deep breath, as if he’d just emerged from underwater. The breath jostled his cracked ribs, though, and he winced in pain as he tried to breath more shallowly.

Levi stroked through his hair – which was really quite greasy at this point, but Levi put up with it because it was Eren and Eren needed Erwin and him – and murmured words of comfort as he held Eren close.

It took Eren a few minutes to calm down. When he did, he stared up at Levi’s worried face, glancing over to meet Erwin’s gaze as well. “I’m so-“

“Don’t be,” Levi preempted. “Are you okay?” He moved so he was next to Eren rather than leaning over him like he had been, wanting to give him his space.

“Yeah,” Eren said, shifting his eyes off to the side.

Erwin took a seat on the edge of the bed and ran his hand through Eren’s hair like Levi had just been doing. “Nightmare?” he asked.

“I guess.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Eren looked up at Erwin and then over at Levi, who were both watching him carefully. “Not really,” he said.

“Okay,” Erwin said, and Eren was glad that they weren’t going to push this. He couldn’t even really remember what it had been about himself, just that he’d been terrified. “If you change your mind, though, you know you can talk to us about anything, right?”

“Yes, mom,” Eren joked, wanting to lighten the mood even though his heart was still racing from the adrenaline. “I swear, between you two and Mikasa I have more mothers than I could ever need.” Except for the one who mattered. The one who died when he was just a kid. The one who he refused to talk about right now because then he’d just start crying, and he didn’t want to do that with Erwin and Levi still looking at him like that.

They could see the tension in Eren’s eyes, and they knew where his mind had gone, but they didn’t mention it. They knew at this point that sometimes it was best not to push him. So they just chuckled lightly at Eren’s joke, and Erwin kissed Eren on the forehead and sat back down in his chair, bringing it closer so that he could hold Eren’s hand. Levi stayed pressed against Eren’s side, getting the remote to the little wall-mounted TV when Eren asked if he would turn it on. Eren knew he wasn’t about to go back to sleep after that, but because he also didn’t want to talk or be left to his thoughts, he decided that television would be best. It was a good thing Hanji had just cleared him to watch it in small doses. He didn’t pay much attention to it, anyway, mostly just listening to the sounds of some cheesy soap opera as the rest of the night wore on.

* * *

 

Eren was glad when Mikasa and Armin finally visited. They brought him balloons and a stuffed bear, which Eren didn’t really know what to do with, so he held onto the bear and let Armin set the balloons up in a corner. Erwin and Levi had stepped out of the room to give them some alone time.

“How are you?” Armin asked as he gently hugged his friend.

“Achey,” Eren said. “Bored. I want to get up and move around or something. I’m sick of this room. And I’m not even allowed to watch TV for long periods at a time so it’s like what am I supposed to do then?”

“Erwin and Levi aren’t keeping you company?” Mikasa asked.

“They are, but even talking to them gets boring after a while. It has been interesting to learn about their work, though.”

“Eren, we’re really sorry we found out before you,” Armin said.

“Huh?” Eren said, confused. “No, that’s not why I was upset,” he explained once he realized that Armin thought that’s why Eren had been angry before. “I’m just worried about you guys being in danger now.”

“That doesn’t matter as long as you’re safe,” Mikasa said.

Eren sighed and tried to think of how to explain it. “Okay,” he eventually decided. “Think about it from my perspective, though, ‘Kasa. What if telling me about some secret you have would put me in danger, even if it would help save you? What would you prefer?”

Mikasa didn’t answer, and Eren could tell by the way Armin was looking at her that he agreed Mikasa would choose to protect Eren.

Eren smiled and nudged Mikasa’s arm. “See? I know you’d choose me because you’re the worst, most overprotective sister in the world.” They all knew that Eren didn’t really mean she was the worst sister and was just joking.

“I could be so much worse, Eren,” Mikasa joked back, though she never really sounded like she was joking. Her style of humor was something the people around her had to get used to. “So much worse.”

“I know,” Eren laughed. “But you have to remember that I’m allowed to be protective of you, too.” He turned to Armin. “And don’t think I’m forgetting about you, either.”

“Hey,” Armin argued lightly. “I didn’t go anywhere near the drop-off. I stayed in the comfort of my apartment, staring at the phone for news.”

“See Mikasa?” Eren asked, turning back to her. “Why couldn’t you have done that and been there for each other instead of putting yourself in danger?”

“Because I’m a world-ranked martial artist and Armin isn’t?” Mikasa asked.

“Still,” Eren pouted. He couldn’t think of anything else good to say, so he just pouted for a minute before deciding to change the subject. “So, tell me about what’s been going on in the real world since I’ve been gone.”

 

* * *

 

It turned out that not a whole lot actually had gone on in the days that Eren was out. No major news events, nothing exciting even among their other friends. A lot of them were wondering where Eren was, but apparently Armin had thought up the idea of telling them that Eren had gone on vacation with Erwin and Levi and that’s why he wasn’t around. He’d have to come up with a good story surrounding that, a location and everything, and he’d have to come up with an excuse why he changed his phone number – maybe he could say his phone got stolen while they were on vacation – but overall it was a good plan. He’d discuss it later with Erwin and Levi to see what they thought.

Armin and Mikasa hung around for a few more hours, and at some point Erwin and Levi rejoined them because Eren texted and told them they were welcome to, and for the most part they spent the whole time talking about nothing of consequence. At one point Hanji had come in to check on Eren’s injuries and Armin had asked if he could take a look too, since he was in medical school and training to be a doctor, and after Eren gave the ok he and Hanji got into a long discussion using lots of big words that Eren didn’t understand.

While the doctor was there, though, Eren decided to ask if he was going to be able to go home soon. He was getting cabin fever stuck in this room, and he’d at least like to be stuck somewhere familiar. Hanji thought it over for a bit and then decided that it’d be a few more days. They wanted him to be able to stand first so he’d be able to go from the bed to the wheelchair. Eren complained that they weren’t letting him try, and Hanji said he could try tomorrow.

 

* * *

 

Four days later, after several successful attempts at going from the bed to the wheelchair with Eren sucking up and enduring the pain in his ribs from the transfer, he was given the go ahead to go home. Things had been a little better the past few days, with Erwin and Levi able to wheel him down the hallway or around the floor so he wasn’t stuck in bed the whole time, but he was still excited.

In the early afternoon, Hanji signed Eren’s release papers and gave him some prescriptions for heavy painkillers that he would have Erwin or Levi fill for him, and then they all helped Eren into the wheelchair and rolled him down to the elevator. Eren didn’t get much of a chance to see the building on the way out, but they were on a fairly low floor of what looked like a high-rise building, and the lobby was certainly impressive in a cold and modern way. He didn’t really care about that, though. He was just excited when they finally opened the handicap-accessible door and rolled him out into the sunlight and he was able to finally breathe the fresh air.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff... ish?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today on "IT WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO BE FLUFF I'M SO SORRY": this chapter.
> 
> I hope that the funs in the beginning of the chapter make it worth it.
> 
> I don't want to spoil anything, but I feel that trigger warnings are more important than spoilers, so: trigger warnings for PTSD and obsessions/compulsions.

It turned out that their apartment was not extremely handicap-accessible. Thankfully most of it had an open concept, but the doorways to the bedroom and bathroom were a very tight squeeze. Eren was so exhausted from the trip back – it had only been half an hour sitting in the car, but it had been an eventful day compared to the previous few, and his Tylenol with codeine was kicking in – that he eventually told Erwin to give up trying to figure out a way to get the wheelchair through the bedroom doorway and just carry him. Erwin was hesitant, because he didn’t want to hurt Eren, but he agreed. He carefully picked Eren up bridal style and carried him into the bedroom, gently laying him in the middle of the bed, Levi having entered the room first to pull down the comforter and sheets.

Levi went about tucking Eren in as Erwin unpacked the bags with their changes of clothes and necessary toiletries that they had had brought to them so they wouldn’t have to leave Eren’s side. They’d have to do a load of laundry soon, but since the machines were in the bathroom right off the bedroom, he decided that they could leave it for a time when Eren was awake so that the sound didn’t disturb him.

Eren smiled as Levi tucked him snugly into bed. It kind of made him feel like a child, but at the same time it was nice to be doted on. “This bed is much better,” he told Levi, closing his eyes.

“Good,” Levi said, making sure Eren’s pillows were properly fluffed.

“Both of you can lie with me now,” Eren said, hinting not-so-subtly that he wanted them to do so.

“You couldn’t have said something about that _before_ I tucked you in like this?” Levi complained, but he got out of bed and started undressing to his boxers.

“Sorry,” Eren said, completely unapologetic.

Once Erwin finished unpacking their bags, he got the message and dressed down to his boxers and slid into bed as well, undoing the work Levi had done tucking Eren in on that side. Levi was already curled up on Eren’s other side, and Erwin took some time to figure out how he could cuddle up to Eren without risking moving or hurting him. He eventually figured out a good position, and by that time both Eren and Levi were already asleep. It was the middle of the day, but he figured they were all due for a nap. Eren’s meds made him dead tired, and Erwin and Levi hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since before Eren was taken, sleeping in Eren’s room in the medical bay ever since. Seeing his peacefully sleeping boyfriends, Erwin smirked and nuzzled into Eren’s neck, letting himself drift off too.

 

* * *

 

When Eren woke up, he realized he was hugging Levi’s leg with one arm. He looked up to see that Levi was sitting up with a book in his hands, reading. He could still feel a warm body behind him, so he assumed that Erwin was still there, too.

“Hello,” he sleepily said to Levi.

Levi took the book away from his face and looked down at Eren. “Hello,” he responded. He reached down and pushed Eren’s hair away from his face.

“Is Erwin still asleep?” Eren asked quietly.

“Yup,” Levi said as he nodded.

Eren nuzzled into Levi’s leg while still trying not to move too much and bother his injuries. “When do you have to go back to work?” he asked.

Levi kept petting Eren’s hair, holding his book in his other hand. “Once you’re feeling better.”

“What if I never feel better?” Eren asked, and he didn’t really know why he did so.

“Of course you’re going to get better,” Levi said, wondering if Eren actually was an idiot. “You’re already getting better. Your concussion’s nearly gone and Shitty Glasses said your ribs will be mostly healed in a week.”

Eren sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “Yeah,” he said. “You’re right.”

Levi could tell Eren was thinking about something and that worried him. “We can try not to go into work at the same time,” he assured Eren. “If you don’t want to be alone.”

Eren closed his eyes and nuzzled back into Levi’s leg. “No, I don’t want you to get in trouble at your job.”

“It’s their fault any of this happened,” Levi said. “They can let us take off as much time as we want.”

Hearing Levi snap like that made Eren happy for some reason. He smiled and adjusted his hold on Levi’s leg. “Thanks for staying here,” he said. “Even after you woke up.”

“Of course, brat.” Levi hadn’t left Eren’s side unless absolutely necessary back at the medical ward, and he wasn’t going to now. “Besides, you started pouting in your sleep when I got up to get the book, anyway. You’ve been clinging to me ever since I got back in bed.”

Eren chuckled lightly. “It’s not my fault you’re so cuddleable,” he told Levi.

“Whatever you say, kid.” Levi ruffled Eren’s hair and continued to play with it as he went back to reading his book.

Eren just laid there after that, not having enough energy to move and do something but not tired enough to go back to sleep. Besides, he didn’t want to bother Erwin by moving. The man had an arm around Eren’s hips and his forehead was on Eren’s nape, and he was sleeping so peacefully that Eren thought it was adorable without even being able to see it. He knew Erwin in particular hadn’t slept well recently. While Levi was small enough to be able to share Eren’s hospital bed, Erwin hadn’t been, so he’d had to sleep on the chairs in the room, which had hurt his back and neck. Eren wanted to let him sleep.

It didn’t take more than half an hour for Erwin to wake up, too. He blinked his eyes open to see the back of Eren’s neck, and he placed a gently kiss right on the knob of the younger’s spine. Eren made a very dignified “Ngyah!” sound at the unexpected kiss. His neck has always been sensitive, and he wasn’t expecting Erwin to be awake.

Erwin chuckled at Eren’s response while Levi looked at the two like they were crazy, and everything felt normal for a moment. But then Eren tried to turn over to look at Erwin and his face scrunched up in pain as his injuries were jostled. Erwin tried to help him get settled, but there wasn’t much he could do other than watch Eren squirm into a comfortable position on his back.

Once he was settled, Eren turned his head to look at Erwin.

“Good morning,” he said.

“Is it morning?” Erwin asked, looking over at the clock on the bedside table.

“I dunno,” Eren responded. His sleeping schedule had been so messed up recently, he never even bothered to ask the time when he woke up.

“It’s ten,” Erwin said once he’d looked at the clock.

“Oh, that’s not bad,” Eren replied.

“At night,” Levi added.

“Oh. Well, that makes more sense.”

Erwin chuckled and gave Eren a light kiss. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Glad to be home.”

“Me too,” Erwin smiled.

“And hungry.”

“Me too,” Erwin repeated, his smile widening.

“God, you two are making me sick,” Levi said, but Eren just turned his head towards him and stuck out his tongue, and Erwin just chuckled.

“You’re just jealous,” Eren joked.

“Stupid brat,” Levi said, ruffling Eren’s hair again. “What do I have to be jealous of?”

“The ability to be adorable,” Eren responded.

“How much codeine did Hanji give you again?” Levi asked, forever wondering about his younger boyfriend’s sanity.

“Mmm,” Eren thought. “Not enough.”

“Well, it’s probably time for you to take some more, actually,” Erwin noted.

“Ok. Go make dinner and bring me my drugs,” Eren ordered, reaching over to give Erwin a light pat on the butt.

Erwin and Levi chuckled at him but got out of bed to go do his bidding.

“Wait!” Eren called as the two were halfway to the bedroom door. He looked at Levi. “Don’t let Erwin cook.”

Levi actually laughed. “Don’t worry,” he assured Eren. “I’m not that stupid.”

He and Erwin then left, Erwin muttering about how he’s not _that_ bad in the kitchen and Levi assuring him that he is. Eren just smiled as his listened to his boyfriends argue like normal.

He waited there until Erwin came back in with the pills they’d picked up on the car ride home and a glass of water. Erwin left those on the bedside table as he helped Eren sit up, trying to keep the amount of wincing from his injuries to the minimum. Even so, it was a bit of an effort for him to sit up, but with the help of several pillows, the managed it. Eren had to insist that he was able to take the pills himself, he could hold a glass of water, please stop babying him. Erwin eventually relented and allowed Eren to take the pills without his help, and then he took the glass back and put it on a coaster on the table before sitting on the bed next to Eren.

“Levi banned you from the kitchen, huh?” Eren asked.

“No,” Erwin replied indignantly. “I am choosing to stay in here with my sick boyfriend because my asshole boyfriend won’t let me touch anything in kitchen without unnecessarily freaking out.”

“Neither of us will let you touch anything in the kitchen,” Eren reminded Erwin.

“You’re both the asshole boyfriend,” was Erwin’s response, which made Eren laugh, which hurt his ribs a bit but he didn’t mind.

“We just don’t want you to burn down the building,” Eren argued. “We do it because we love you and want you to be safe.”

“I understand that,” Erwin said. “But I cannot see a physically possible way that I could start a fire while getting a bowl of cereal.”

“You started a fire making oatmeal once,” Eren reminded him.

“That was _once_ , and I just forgot to add the water before putting it in the microwave, and oatmeal does not count as a cereal!”

“Whatever you say, Erwin.”

Thankfully, Levi came in then. He had a bowl and he brought it over to the bed and gave it to Eren. Kraft mac n’ cheese. It may not be fancy, but Eren still liked it. And it was something quick that Levi knew he wouldn’t be able to mess up. They were mostly out of real food, anyway, because they hadn’t been there in so long. All of the perishable food had gone bad and had already been disposed of.

“You’re letting me eat in the bedroom?” Eren asked as he took the bowl.

“I figured it’d be too difficult to make you move,” Levi explained.

“Where’s our food?” Erwin asked.

“You can eat in here when you have three broken ribs and a broken leg,” Levi told him.

Erwin sighed but stayed to keep Eren company anyways. Eren ate slowly, still adjusting to not having an IV in his arm, and the bandages on his wrists making it awkward sometimes. Levi went back to reading his book, but Erwin just put an arm around Eren’s shoulders and sat there.

When he finished eating, Eren handed Erwin his bowl. “I’ll let you in the kitchen if you’re doing dishes,” he said with a shit-eating grin on his face. Erwin rolled his eyes but went to go wash the bowl anyways.

Levi put down his book. “What do you want to do now?” he asked. He wasn’t sure if Eren was planning on going back to sleep or not.

“Could you help me back out to the living room? We can watch TV,” Eren said.

Levi brought Eren’s wheelchair over to the side of the bed and helped Eren off and into it. He managed to somehow squeeze the chair through the doorway to get him to the living room, where he then helped Eren onto the couch and handed him the remote.

He left Eren with a kiss and went into the kitchen to eat his own dinner with Erwin and make sure that the man was doing the dishes properly. He ended up rewashing the dishes, like usual, but he didn’t mind. It was nice to be back in the usual swing of things. When he finished with the dishes, he went out to the living room to find Eren and Erwin watching _The Amazing Race_.

“Since when do we watch reality TV?” Levi asked as he settled into Erwin’s lap.

“Since they had a marathon of the current season a couple nights ago and I watched all of it,” Eren answered, paying rapt attention to the screen. “Now shush, they’re about to eat snake.”

Levi rolled his eyes and leaned back into Erwin, noticing that the other man was paying close attention to the show as well. “You guys are idiots,” Levi told them, closing his eyes and resting against Erwin, not having a strong desire to see people eating weird food.

 

* * *

 

The next few days were good, as long as Eren ignored his injuries. The Tylenol with codeine made him a little loopy sometimes, but for the most part that just made Erwin laugh and Levi roll his eyes while concealing a smirk. It was a little weird whenever he had to go to the bathroom, because they never figured out how to get his wheelchair in there, and it was a large enough distance between the doorway and the toilet that either Erwin or Levi would have to carry him in there and then wait outside while he did his business and then help him to the sink to wash his hands, but it was better than using a bedpan like in the medical ward.

It was also nice to be able to bathe again. He was practically helpless to do it himself, but thankfully he had two strong guys who were no strangers to seeing him naked to help. It was awkward because he had to keep the cast on his leg dry, and try not to get water under his other bandages, so they used up nearly a whole roll of cellophane the first time to try to protect them from getting wet. He still wasn’t good at bending or moving around, so Levi scrubbed him down, spending plenty of time on his greasy hair. Levi also helped him shave, because he had started to grow out some scruff while in the medical ward. He didn’t grow beards very easily, but it had been long enough, and he hated the scratchy feeling on his face. He knew Levi hated it also. He thought beards were unsanitary.

It felt really nice to be clean again. Eren hadn’t felt that way since before the incident, which he was still trying to shove as far back in his mind as possible. Between being kidnapped while he was coming from the gym unshowered, pissing his pants, and then falling to the ground in the parking lot, he just felt completely covered in grime. It didn’t go away completely even once he was finally cleaned up, but it certainly helped.

He still had nightmares, but not every time he slept, and he always woke up to Erwin and/or Levi around, and they would hold him. He didn’t cry anymore, not about what happened, and not from the nightmares. He wanted to be strong. He couldn’t let it get to him anymore. Eren would not let these people control him. So he just let himself be held by Erwin and Levi, and he would catch his breath, and eventually they learned not to ask him if he wanted to talk about it because he always said no. They’d just get him a glass of water and stay up with him, helping him to the living room to watch TV if he wanted. But they never left his side.

Sometimes one of them would have to leave for some reason or another. One of them would be called in to do something at work – though Levi always bitched about it for an hour whenever they did that – or they’d have to go get some groceries or more cellophane. One of them would always stay behind and sit by his side or lay beside him.

There was one funny instance where Eren got hungry while Levi was away and Erwin tried to insist that he could get him some food even though Eren said he could wait. It prompted an argument of “I can make a _sandwich_ , Eren!” “You’ll cut your finger off!” “I know how to use a knife!” But eventually Erwin gave in and he texted Levi to pick up some food on the way home.

* * *

 

A little over a week later, Hanji came by to check on Eren and give him the ok to try out the crutches they brought over. His ribs did hurt a bit while he used them, but it was enough that Eren was allowed to use the crutches to walk short distances. It wasn’t like he was going to walk any long distances, since that would require leaving the apartment, and he’s only been outside a couple of times over the past few days when Erwin and Levi would take him out to get some fresh air.

Eren liked having the freedom to walk around a little on his own and not have his boyfriends carry him whenever he needed to go to the bathroom. Erwin and Levi wanted him to stay sitting or lying down as much as possible so that he wouldn’t get hurt further, but Eren insisted on practicing walking with the crutches at least a little bit every day. He didn’t want his muscles to completely die off from lack of use or anything.

Only a few days after he started using his crutches, Levi got called in to work and Erwin and Eren were spending the afternoon watching more reality TV when Eren’s stomach growled loudly. Erwin suggested ordering a pizza or Chinese, but Eren was really in the mood for Mexican so he asked Erwin to go pick some up from their favorite restaurant and “I know it’s not close but it’s _so_ good and as much as I love Levi he’s not a very good cook either so I’m in the mood for good food and _I’m injured so pleeeeease?_ ”

Erwin knew he wouldn’t survive the puppy-dog eyes. Damn that kid’s eyes. He was hesitant about leaving Eren alone but the boy insisted that he was an adult and he had his crutches to make it to the bathroom if he needed to piss and his phone if he needed anything else, so Erwin agreed to go.

Fifteen minutes after Erwin left, Eren was finding it hard to pay attention to the television. It was getting hot in the apartment. Was his pulse always so loud in his ears? Did he just hear someone open a window? No, he’s on the fifteenth floor, how would that even happen? Well, it couldn’t hurt to check. Besides, he was getting awfully thirsty. He should get some water.

Eren reached for his crutches and fumbled to his feet. He slowly made his way around the apartment, wondering why using his crutches was taking so much more energy out of him than usual. His lungs were tightening up; it was hard to breathe. It felt like he was having an asthma attack, but he’s never had asthma in his life.

He checked the locks on the front door. Secure. All the windows? Locked and shut. He made his way to the kitchen to get a glass of water but when he turned on the tap he got a different urge. He put the glass down and soaped up his hands and started scrubbing.

He couldn’t stop.

His hands just wouldn’t feel clean. He needed to keep scrubbing them. Especially at his wrists where his scabs were healing over from where the handcuffs had scraped into his skin. They were healed enough now that he didn’t have to wear bandages on them but they felt disgusting. He needed to wash them.

Eren’s crutches clanked to the floor as he leaned his weight on his good leg and the counter, face turning red with exertion and hands turning red with rawness. His wrists started bleeding where he’d scrubbed off the scabs but then he needed to wash the blood away. He screamed in frustration behind gritted teeth. The feeling that there was some grime all over his skin just wouldn’t go away. He needed to start with his hands. Once he got his hands clean, then he’d move on to the rest of his body. His face, oh his face felt so oily, so dirty, but his hands came first. He just needed to _get them clean why weren’t they getting clean?_

He didn’t hear the door open. He didn’t hear Erwin call his name, nor did he hear the man enter the kitchen and call his name again when he saw Eren’s actions, dropping the bag of food on the tile. He didn’t notice him at all until the tap was turned off and a pair of strong hands wrapped around his forearms, staying well away from the bleeding wounds and soap, and pulled his dripping, sudsy hands away from the sink, causing him to drop the sponge he'd begun to use to scrape at his skin.

Erwin turned Eren to face him, getting a good look at the distress on his face.

It took Eren a minute to recognize the person in front of him and break down. He let Erwin hold up his sopping hands and he dropped his head. “They won’t get clean,” he said in a sob. “They won’t get clean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
> 
> fun fact: my brother actually did start a fire in the microwave that way once.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shortish chapter, but it just seemed to work to end it where it does and also I wanted to post something because I felt bad for ending it where I did and torturing you all haha
> 
> Again, trigger warnings for PTSD and obsessions/compulsions, mostly the latter.

Erwin pulled Eren into a hug, letting the water from Eren’s hands soak through his shirt. “It’s ok,” he said as he wrapped himself protectively around the younger. “I’m here now. It’s ok.” Eren finally broke his rule about not crying and sobbed into Erwin’s chest. He was scared. He didn't know what he'd just been doing or why. He just knew that he felt filthy and needed to feel clean but couldn't. But he also knew that what he'd just been doing hadn't been right and he shouldn't have done that. Why hadn't he been able to stop? Erwin just held him until managed to calm down a bit.

When Erwin sensed that Eren was doing a bit better, he stroked a hand through Eren’s hair and placed a kiss on his head. “Eren?” he questioned. “Do you want me to call Levi?”

Eren nodded into Erwin’s chest, still sniffling.

“Ok,” Erwin answered, placing another kiss on Eren’s head, and then he pulled out his phone and dialed.

 

* * *

 

Levi didn’t know what to expect when he got home. Erwin hadn’t told him much; just that he should come home because Eren needed him. He knew that if Eren was in any immediate danger Erwin would have told him as much, but the man’s tone definitely had Levi speeding on the way back.

He entered the apartment to find Eren sitting on the couch with his head down, Erwin kneeling in front of him. The real shock came when he saw what Erwin was doing. He had a first aid kit out and was wrapping a bandage around one of Eren’s wrists, where his scabs from before were now bleeding. Levi hung up his keys and slipped off his shoes and came closer to get a better look. Erwin glanced over at him to acknowledge his presence, but kept his focus on bandaging Eren. Eren heard Levi but didn’t acknowledge him.

As he moved closer, Levi could see that Eren’s other wrist was newly bandaged, too. His eyes then drifted to the boy’s hands, which were a nasty red, some areas bleeding in a pattern that he vaguely remembered. “ _Eren_ ,” Levi nearly sighed when he put the pieces together. He went to sit by the boy’s side and pulled Eren’s head to his chest. “What happened?” he asked, though he already had a good idea.

Once Eren realized that Erwin wasn’t going to answer for him, he resigned to the fact that he had to do it himself. “They wouldn’t get clean,” he offered as explanation.

Levi closed his eyes and exhaled. This wouldn’t be particularly easy for him to deal with. “What triggered it?” he asked, trying to make his voice as comforting as possible.

“Um,” Eren said, thinking. “Once Erwin was gone-“ Levi glared at Erwin “-I just got really antsy and I went to get some water and then I started washing my hands and I couldn’t stop.”

“Was it because you were alone?”

“I don’t know?” Eren said with a questioning tone. He didn’t know anything about what had just happened. He just felt like he was covered in grime and next thing he knew his hands were bleeding.

Levi noticed Erwin pick up a bottle of lotion. “No, not that stuff,” he told him. “I think I’ve still got some cold cream somewhere. Did you put Neosporin on the other scrapes?”

“Oh, no, I forgot, thanks,” Erwin said, reaching into the first aid kit to get the antibiotic cream. He started to apply it to the scrapes on Eren’s hands from where he’d scrubbed too hard, especially where he’d rubbed at his skin with the sponge.

“No problem,” Levi responded. He played with the hair at the nape of Eren’s neck and said, “I’m going to go get some cream for your hands. I’ll be right back.” He didn’t want Eren to worry if he left, so he waited until Eren nodded to get up. The vial of cold cream was at the back of the linen closet, on the shelf that they used for sunscreen and bug spray and random over-the-counter meds like Pepto-Bismol and decongestants. It was nearly empty, but there was enough for the moment, and Levi was glad that he hadn’t thrown it out a while ago. He always kept it around, sort of like a safety blanket.

He went back into the living room to find Erwin finishing up with Eren’s hands. When he was done, Erwin moved out of the way, sitting next to Eren on the couch, so that Levi could take his place and start gently covering Eren’s hands with the cream.

“What is that?” Eren asked, seeing the container. He didn’t recognize it.

“It’s cold cream,” Levi answered, methodically and carefully rubbing the cream onto Eren’s red hands. “It’s like lotion, but it’s the most basic stuff you can get. No scents or sparkles or whatever that other shit has. It won’t irritate your skin as much, and trust me, you want to moisturize. Otherwise you’ll get really dry skin later and it’ll hurt like a bitch.”

“How are you so good at this?” Eren asked, though his mind was sort of forming an answer of its own.

“I’ve been here before,” Levi said simply, and he didn’t say anything else until he was done applying the cream. He rubbed the excess on his hands into his own skin and replaced the cap on the cream, leaving it on the coffee table as he moved to sit on Eren’s free side on the couch. He gently took hold of Eren’s hands again.

“I know how you’re feeling,” Levi continued then, keeping his eyes on their hands. Erwin kept a comforting arm around Eren’s back, reminding Eren he was there but at the same time knowing this was Eren and Levi’s conversation. “I used to be the same way,” Levi explained. “After something like that happens, not being able to feel clean… It’s shit. I’m not going to lie. It hurts. The feeling like there’s something crawling all over your skin but not being able to do anything about it because even if you tore your skin off it’d still be there. It’s complete shit, and years ago I would do the same thing. I’d spend hours in the shower scrubbing at my skin or an entire afternoon trying to get one stain off the carpet. But you learn to control the urges. You have people like Erwin and me who stop you from hurting yourself when you can’t help it. Eventually it gets better.”

“How long is eventually?” Eren asked, voice rough.

“Depends,” Levi said. “This was the first time you did this right? So that’s good, that we caught this at the very beginning. I don’t think we’d be able to compare that to how long it took me.”

“How long did it take you?”

Levi sighed. He didn’t want Eren to think this was any scarier than it needed to be. But he had to be honest. “Months,” he said. “And, well, even now you guys still call me a clean freak, though really I just like good hygiene and there’s nothing wrong with that-“ He realized he was getting off topic. “But I was living alone. I didn’t have two boyfriends to help me through it, though Erwin did end up helping me, but we weren’t dating then. And that’s beside the point. We’re going to help you. And we _won’t_ leave you alone again until you’re ready.” He glared at Erwin then.

“That was my fault,” Eren admitted. “I wanted food so I asked Erwin to get some. I… I didn’t think it would be a problem.”

“It’s ok,” Levi said, and Eren was still a bit shocked at all this gentleness. “Now we know.”

“Yeah,” Eren said. “Um. I’m still hungry though?” He couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at the change in subject. “Could we have some of that food? We probably have to heat it up now but…”

“Sure,” Levi said, ruffling Eren’s hair and standing up and heading to the kitchen.

Eren sighed and leaned back against Erwin, turning to watch the TV that had never gotten turned off. “I’m sorry,” he said to Erwin, meaning it for both him and Levi. He felt bad that they had to deal with him like this. First the injuries, then the nightmares, now this – he just couldn’t stop making their lives difficult. He knew it was stupid, that Erwin and Levi would tell him it’s stupid, because they love him and want him to be ok, but he still hated to be a burden.

“Don’t be,” Erwin said, as Eren had pretty much expected him to say.

“I know.” Eren sighed again and leaned his head into the side of Erwin’s chest. “I just keep getting more and more messed up.”

“Hey,” Erwin said, shifting to be able to make eye contact with Eren and not continuing until he had. “This is a normal reaction. Levi just told you the same thing happened to him. This is what happens when you go through a traumatic event. It’s to be expected that you have some difficulties transitioning back into normal life.”

After Erwin was done speaking, Eren put his head back on the man’s chest. “I know. I don’t like it though.”

Erwin chuckled at that and kissed Eren’s head. “I don’t think anyone _likes_ it,” he joked.

Eren pouted and muttered, “Shut up,” and Levi came back into the room with a plate of food. He guessed Levi had once again failed to get Erwin’s food too, because he the two shared a look.

“Get your own damn food,” Levi said, sitting next to Eren. “You have two legs.”

Erwin laughed and went into the kitchen. They trusted him enough to reheat things, at least. Things like this were times that, if other people were around to see, would make them say that their relationship was messed up, that Levi liked Eren more than Erwin or something like that. But the three of them all knew that Levi was just a jerk and he wouldn’t be getting Eren his food if he weren’t injured, so he wasn’t going to get Erwin his food if he was fine. Their relationship was fine; Levi was just an asshole, but Eren and Erwin had both come to love that about him.

Eren took the plate from Levi and realized just how much his hands were hurting. He must have rubbed off a few layers of skin even in the best-looking areas. The worse-looking areas were scratched up and scabbing over. But he left the plate on his lap and picked up the fork and gripped it as lightly as he could and used it to cut off a piece of his chimichanga.

Even as Eren brought the bite to his mouth, Levi could see the slightly pained look on the younger’s face. “Need me to feed you?” he asked, and Eren couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. But Levi took the fork from his hand and got another bite of chimichanga and held it up, and then he said, completely serious, “Here comes the train, Eren.”

Eren couldn’t help but laugh, and then held his mouth open for Levi to feed him. He allowed it for a few more bites just because it was funny, but eventually he realized how long this was taking them and how inefficient it was. He just wanted to eat his food. So he took the fork back from Levi and said, “Ok, ok. I can eat my own food.” It still hurt a bit to hold the fork in his raw hands, but Levi didn’t fight him on it.

 

* * *

 

Levi was right. It wasn’t easy. It seemed now that the floodgates were open Eren couldn’t close them.

Later that night as they were sitting on the couch, Levi looked over from his place on Erwin’s lap to find Eren scratching furiously at the top of the cast on his leg.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“It _itches_ ,” Eren complained. That wasn’t new. Ever since he’d woken up in the medical ward he’d get itches under the cast, and they would bother him for a little while, but he usually forced himself to ignore it. He couldn’t ignore this, though. He tried stretching his fingers under the plaster and then looked around for something to stick in there to scratch with when that wasn’t enough. He spotted a pen on the table and reached for it, but Levi grabbed it first and kept it out of his grasp.

“You shouldn’t stick things in it, Eren,” Levi said, and if Eren had been in a better mood he would have made it into an innuendo because he, as Levi would sometimes tell him, had the humor of a twelve-year-old.

But instead Eren just grunted and kept scratching as best he could. “But it _itches_. And it’s sweaty and gross and-“ He screamed in frustration and scratched more furiously, not caring that his raw fingers were only getting worse.

Levi was suddenly kneeling in front of him and holding his forearms similar to how Erwin had grabbed them earlier. Erwin currently had a hand on Eren’s back, rubbing soothing circles.

“You _can’t_ scratch, Eren,” Levi told him sternly.

Eren was nearly crying with the frustration. “But I _need_ to!” he whined.

“You don’t. It’ll go away. Just try to relax.”

He couldn’t relax, though. His leg itched so much. Eren tried to pull his arms back but Levi’s grip was iron. “Please!” he begged. “Please, just let me-“

“Eren.” Levi’s voice was firm. “Eren, look at me.” It took Eren a few seconds to comply. “You can get through this. It’s all in your head. Just relax.”

“I _can’t!_ I-“

“Shh.” Erwin kept rubbing the soothing circles into Eren’s back and kissed his head. He exchanged a glance with Levi. “Eren, want to see a trick I used to do with Levi?”

“What?” Eren asked, not ready to give a definitive answer.

“What is three times four?”

Eren was thrown by the random question. “What? How is that-?”

“Just answer it,” Levi prompted.

“Twelve, but-“

“Three times five?” Erwin continued.

“Fifteen. I still don’t-“

“Times six?”

“Uh, eighteen.”

“Seven?”

“Twenty-one.”

They continued up until three times twelve, thirty-six, but Erwin just continued by asking Eren was four times four was.

Eren continued answering Erwin’s questions all the way up to eight times twelve, ninety-six, when Erwin stopped asking. Eren was confused at first, especially when he noticed that Levi’s grip had loosened and he was now just gently holding his hands, definitely loose enough that he could take his hands back if he wanted. The itch was still in his leg, but it wasn’t as demanding. He could fight it.

“I don’t understand,” Eren said, confused as to what kind of mathematical black magic Erwin had just used.

“Times tables,” Levi explained. “Helps distract you. I told you all you had to do was get your mind off of it.”

“How are you doing?” Erwin asked after Eren nodded at Levi’s explanation.

“Um,” Eren thought. “Better, I guess. It still itches, but nowhere near as bad.”

“Good.” Levi leaned up and kissed Eren’s forehead before moving to sit next to him on the couch again. He kept one of Eren’s hands in his and gave the other to Erwin since he was on Eren’s other side. The sight made Eren laugh a bit, because they didn’t often hold hands and so it felt a bit silly doing it while they were just watching TV, but he was glad that they were doing it. It gave him something else to do with his hands and would keep him from starting to scratch again without realizing it. Neither Erwin nor Levi was holding his hands tightly, but the weight of them was a reminder that they were there. Maybe that was all he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cold cream is like the greatest stuff on earth if you have super sensitive skin like me.
> 
> Also, the multiplication tables thing is a trick my mom taught me when I was little and had anxiety problems (before I was going to a therapist). It actually does help. It helps if you're trying to go to sleep, too, because it's easy for your mind to wander while counting sheep, but multiplication, once you get up into the higher numbers, takes just enough brain power that it's distracting while still being mindless.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're still dealing with the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo I just got home from college yay! I probably failed one of my classes but the professor was - I swear to God - the _worst_ fucking professor in the world. Now, I like to respect my professors and teachers because their jobs aren't easy, but this professor just ruined my semester completely and made my life miserable. 
> 
> BUT ANYWAY since as of yet I have no summer plans, I'll probably be able to write some more. (Though I do have to switch screens whenever my parents walk by ha ha). For example, I have a new work in the... works... (A new fic in the works?) that may or may not be a four..some... with bdsm... (I might be working at a church this summer oh my god what am I doing with my life I'm going to hell). It'll probably only be a one-shot though.
> 
> Also, I know there's been a lot of Jeager/Yeager controversy lately and I know Isayama said that it's spelled Yeager but I am using my "creative license" card on this one because I've been writing it with a J and probably won't stop because I prefer it that way. So, while I acknowledge Eren in the SNK mangas and anime is technically Yeager, Eren in my fics is Yeager. Sorry if that bothers anyone.
> 
> More anxiety/obsession/compulsion triggers for this chapter. I also want to add a possible trichotillomania trigger for this because even though there isn't any hair pulling it did sort of bring back my own trichotillomania (if you ever want to guess what mental disorders I have, it'd be more challenging to guess which ones I don't have. All the wires are messed up in brain.) a bit to write and reread just because of the itching. That's all just in the beginning of the chapter.
> 
> Enjoy my gratuitous use of italics. If you want to give me prompts of what to write on tumblr my username is downtheupstairs. Please I will think you are a god if you send me a prompt I'll feel so loved.

Eren couldn’t sleep.

It was three a.m., Erwin was lightly snoring on his left and Levi was sound asleep on his right, and Eren was wide awake.

He wanted to go take a shower. His hair, especially, felt greasy and gross and he kept trying not to scratch at it. But he felt disgusting all over. He’d managed to sleep for a couple of hours at first, but then he woke up and realized he’d started sweating just a bit under the covers and now he felt gross. If he were able to shower without assistance he would be doing so by now, but he knew that he couldn’t. He probably wouldn’t even be able to get out of bed without waking Erwin and/or Levi, because he’d have to crawl over one of them without hurting his injuries and then get to his crutches and it’d be loud.

He also knew that he needed to fight the urge. He tried. His hands were still raw but when he found it hard to contain the urge to scratch his hair he stuck them under his butt so he was lying on them. Thankfully between that and having Erwin and Levi crowded in on either side it was difficult for him to move.

But not being able to move just made it worse. It was getting hard to breathe again and for _fuck’s sake did he want to scratch his head_ but he slammed his eyes shut and forced himself through it.

_Four times four is sixteen. Four times five is twenty. Four times six is twenty-four. Four times seven is twenty-eight. Four times eight is-_

Eren whimpered but tried to keep as silent as possible. He didn’t want to wake Erwin or Levi. He could do this on his own.

_Thirty-two, four times eight is thirty-two. Four times nine is thirty-six. Four times ten is forty. Four times eleven is forty-four. Four times twelve is forty-eight. Five. Five times five is twenty-five. Five times six is thirty. Five times-_

He was unable to contain a frustrated sob. He tried to get back to multiplying but the next thing he knew there was a hand on his face and he opened his eyes to see Levi above him.

“Trying not to itch?” he asked.

Eren bit his lip and nodded.

Levi smoothed his hand through Eren’s hair – it was something, but not nearly enough to satisfy the itch – and then moved down, trailing his hands gently down Eren’s arms and prompting him to lift up his hips so he could take Eren’s hands from beneath his ass.

“Why didn’t you wake one of us?” Levi asked, taking Eren’s hands in his. Eren gripped Levi’s hands as hard as he could. It felt as if they’d float away if Eren gave them any slack, and then he’d have nothing to keep him from scratching. Levi allowed Eren to hold him as tightly as he needed. He remembered the sensation and knew how hard this must be for Eren.

Eren took his time to answer. It seemed stupid to say it aloud, but he knew he had to. “I wanted to do it on my own.”

Levi nodded in understanding. He knew that feeling also, though for a slightly different reason. Levi had always been one to do things on his own and hated help of any kind, simply because he didn’t like people. It had taken him a long time to learn how to work well with others, and it still never felt natural to him. Eren, on the other hand, had a lot of pride. He wouldn’t accept help because he felt that it made him weak to not be able to do something on his own.

Unfortunately, Levi knew that just telling Eren that getting help didn’t make him weak wouldn’t change his mind. So he just sighed and said, “You should have woken one of us up.”

“I know,” Eren grumbled, and he adjusted his grip on Levi’s hands. His face scrunched up in annoyance when a new wave of itchiness hit him, and he almost pulled his hands away from Levi to scratch at it. Levi held him, though.

“Anywhere in particular?”

“My hair,” Eren said.

“The hair is the worst,” Levi concurred. “Did you try multiplication tables?”

“Yeah. They didn’t work.”

Levi bit his lip and thought of another solution. “Ok. Instead of multiplication tables I’ll give you random math questions. The problem with the tables is that they can sometimes be too easy.”

“Ok.” Eren just wanted the itching to stop.

“Seven times fifteen.”

Eren had to think about that one. He hadn’t had to do much multiplication since high school, and even then they used calculators for simple stuff like this. “A hundred and five?”

“Yup,” Levi confirmed. “Twelve times seventeen.”

“Oh god that’s a harder one. Um… let’s see. Two times seven is fourteen, so… Two hundred and… Two hundred and four?”

“Right again.”

Levi continued to give Eren harder and harder multiplication problems until he felt Eren’s grip loosen on his hands and noticed Eren relax in front of him. It took about half an hour, but it worked.

Eventually Levi stopped and asked Eren if he needed him to keep going with the questions. Eren was thrown off a bit by that, having forgotten the original intention of the questioning, but he found that the itch was mostly gone.

“Thanks,” Eren said.

“No problem,” Levi replied, and he made as if to ruffle Eren’s hair but thought better of it. Instead he said, “Can we go back to sleep now?”

“Yeah,” Eren responded, even though he wasn’t feeling all that tired now. He looked over at the clock. Three forty-five. It had been long enough since he’d last taken his meds. “Actually, could you get me my pain meds first?” Since they made him tired, hopefully they’d help him sleep.

Levi made the same connection, but didn’t mention it. He just got out of bed and made his way into the kitchen, not even turning on the light once he was in there. Eren assumed it was some part of Levi’s spy training, or maybe Levi was actually part cat, and that was why he could see in the dark so well. He came back with a pill and a small glass of water and let Eren take it before putting the glass back in the kitchen sink.

Erwin finally woke as Levi was in the kitchen again. He turned to look at Eren and sleepily asked, “What’s going on?”

Eren just patted his shoulder and said, “Nothing, go back to sleep.” Erwin decided to trust Eren on it and rolled back over. By the time Eren and Levi had both settled back in for the night, Erwin was already back to snoring.

 

* * *

 

Levi was already awake and sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee when Erwin came back from his run. They obviously weren’t going back to their usual gym after what happened, but they hadn’t had the chance to find a new one, so for now a run around the neighborhood would have to do.

They didn’t talk beyond a simple greeting until Erwin had finished showering and had gotten his own coffee. He sat down next to Levi and they exchanged a kiss before Erwin asked about what had happened the night before. Levi put down the newspaper he was reading and explained the situation.

“Are you going to be ok with all this?” Erwin asked once Levi was finished.

Levi rolled his eyes but Erwin stared him down until he became serious. “I have to be,” he finally answered.

Erwin sighed in disapproval, but he really didn’t know what to say. He knew Levi loved Eren just as much as he did. He knew that, even though Levi was putting himself in an uncomfortable position in order to help Eren, he would do the exact same if he were in Levi’s place. He wanted to tell Levi that he could handle it; that he could be there for Eren and Levi could take a step back so that he wasn’t uncomfortable, but it wouldn’t be fair to tell him to do so.

“I’m a big boy, Erwin,” Levi assured, and even with the serious situation Erwin felt a comment about Levi’s height on the tip of his tongue. He swallowed it down when Levi glared at him, obviously realizing what Erwin was planning on saying. He continued, “I can handle myself.”

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should,” Erwin said.

“You should know better than anyone else that I’m not about to gather around the campfire and talk about my feelings.”

“Well, that’s partly because you refuse to go camping,” Erwin noted.

“I could choose to sleep in my very comfortable, very expensive bed, or in the dirt in the middle of a forest. Which do you think I’m going to choose?” Levi snipped.

“The views are great, though. Eren and I had fun when we went.”

“Good, you have someone to go with then. I’ll enjoy having the apartment to myself.”

“I’m sure you will,” Erwin said, then he thought for a second. “This isn’t what we were supposed to talk about.”

“You started it,” Levi mentioned.

“I guess you’re right,” Erwin admitted. “But anyway. If you need to take a step back…”

“I know, I know. I’ll tag you in. Whatever.” Levi finished the last of his coffee and brought his mug to the sink. When he noticed that Erwin followed him, Levi went into the living room instead of back to the table, letting Erwin lie on the couch so he could lie on top of him. If they were going to be having a conversation, Levi at least wanted to be comfortable. And he was never more comfortable than when he was cuddled up on top of one of his boyfriends.

They sat there in silence for a little while, just resting with each other, until Erwin eventually said, “We need to figure out what to do about work.”

“They can go fuck themselves,” Levi responded, happily listening to Erwin's heartbeat from his position with his head on Erwin's chest. “We’ve done enough for them. They can let us take some time off.”

“You know that’s not how they’ll see it, Levi,” Erwin told him.

“Don’t care. Eren’s more important.”

“I agree,” Erwin said. “But we are going to have to go back soon.”

Levi sighed. He didn’t want to admit that Erwin was right, but he was. As much as he wanted to say that they could take as much time off as they wanted due to the number of times they’ve risked their lives for the organization, and due to the fact that it was all their fault any of this happened to Eren, he knew that wasn’t exactly true. “Maybe Eren’s friends could watch him while we’re out.”

“That’s an idea,” Erwin agreed. “Though it won’t work all the time. I know Armin is busy a lot. Mikasa probably is, too.”

“Shitty glasses can come watch on their days off, too,” Levi added. “Hanji never takes time off. They must have hundreds of vacation days saved up.”

“And Hanji and Eren _are_ friends,” Erwin concurred, thinking back to when Hanji lectured the two of them about giving Eren his space. It seemed foolish to have followed that advice, in retrospect. Judging by Levi’s lack of response, the man was thinking the same thing. “How did we let this happen?” Erwin asked.

“Fuck if I know,” Levi answered. “I mean, we didn’t even know about those guys until Armin told us.”

“I’ve been thinking about that,” Erwin admitted. “Why didn’t Eren tell us about them earlier?”

“We were trying not to be as clingy. It probably has something to do with that.”

“So do we go back to being as ‘clingy’ as before?” Erwin asked, putting air quotes around the word ‘clingy’ because it wasn’t exactly the one he would choose.

“Well, we’re not leaving him alone again for a while, and that’s just for him. We can go from there.”

“We’ll talk with him about it when the time comes.”

They laid in silence for a little while longer.

“What if they try to hurt him again?” Levi asked suddenly after some time. He couldn’t look at Erwin as he asked it. He didn’t like to show weakness, even in front of Erwin and Eren, but the question had been bothering him too much.

“We won’t let them,” Erwin assured him.

Levi sighed. “There’s only so much we can do.”

“But we’ll do everything we possibly can.”

“We could have done more to prevent this in the first place.”

“I know.”

They were silent again.

“You know,” Levi once again broke the quietness. “You’re not allowed to get hurt either.”

Erwin smiled and ran a hand through Levi’s hair. “Neither are you.”

It didn’t take much longer of them just lying there for the both of them to fall back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Erwin woke to the sound of Eren hobbling out of the bedroom on his crutches. By the time he was awake enough to look over and see if he was all right, Eren was in the entrance to the living room, looking at the two on the couch, and taking out his phone. The younger put a finger to his lips to indicate that Erwin should be quiet, and he aimed the phone for a picture. He got a good one of Erwin rolling his eyes as Levi was adorably asleep curled up on top of him.

“Why do you always do that?” Erwin asked as he reached up to bring Eren’s head closer for a kiss.

Eren kissed him before answering. “Because I like having pictures of you two and Levi doesn’t let me when he’s awake.”

“Are you taking fucking pictures again?” Levi asked, eyes still closed.

“Yes, and there’s nothing you can do about it,” Eren indignantly replied.

Levi sat up and leaned over Erwin to give Eren a kiss, saying, “Fuck you,” as he did so. Even though he wasn’t happy about having his picture taken – he always hated photos of himself, especially when he looked “cute” – he was glad that Eren was in a much better mood than last night.

“Come sit,” Erwin told Eren, moving Levi off his lap and his legs so they weren’t taking up the whole couch. “We’ll- _Levi_ will get you something to eat.”

Eren snickered at Erwin’s correction but said, “I have to piss first. I just came out here first because I was wondering where you guys were. Didn’t feel like sleeping with me?” He trusted his boyfriends enough that there was no anger or doubt in his question, just jest.

“We didn’t mean to sleep,” Levi said, still waking up.

“Aw, well sorry I woke you,” Eren replied, entirely unapologetic. He then hobbled on his crutches through the bedroom and into the bathroom to piss before breakfast – or lunch; it was already noon.

Erwin had turned on the TV and was half-paying attention to a _Bones_ rerun as Levi cooked Eren a grilled cheese sandwich when he realized that Eren had been in the bathroom for a while. He muted the television and walked through the kitchen, slowing enough to say, “He’s been in there for over ten minutes,” to Levi before he went up to the bathroom door and knocked. “Eren?” he asked. He could see Levi watching around the corner, keeping one eye on the food.

“Yeah?” Eren replied. His voice was just a bit shaky.

“Are you ok?”

Eren hesitated before responding. “Um…”

“I’m going to come in,” Erwin announced. “If that’s ok.” He didn’t wait more than a second for a response before creaking the door open, peering in to make sure Eren wasn’t still on the toilet – though, honestly, they’ve seen each other naked plenty of times before – before he stepped fully inside.

Eren was gripping the counter in front of the sink, resting his weight on his good leg as his crutches leaned against the wall. He looked distressed.

“What’s the matter?” Erwin asked gently.

“I-“ Eren began, voice thick. He clenched his eyes shut and gripped the counter tighter as if the next words were physically difficult to get out. “I need to wash my hands.”

“Oh,” Erwin said, realizing the problem. “And you’re scared of what happened yesterday happening again?”

Eren didn’t open his eyes, but he nodded jerkily.

Erwin came up behind Eren and put his hands on his arms. “It’s ok, Eren,” he promised. “Here. I’ll help.” He turned on the faucet so that warm water was flowing out and then tried to gently pry Eren’s hands from the counter. “It’s ok, let go of the counter hon.” Eren’s grip eventually loosened enough for Erwin to take his hands and put them under the water. Then Erwin got some soap on his own hands and used it to lather Eren’s, making sure to keep his touch as gentle as possible. He rinsed Eren’s hands and turned off the water before getting a towel and lightly drying them. Erwin kissed Eren’s forehead, letting go of his hands. “See?” he asked. “Not that bad.” Erwin looked at Eren’s face and found that he just had a blank look.  

“Thanks,” Eren mumbled. Erwin was going to ask what was wrong but when Eren turned to get his crutches and start leaving the small room even before Erwin did, he had a feeling Eren wouldn’t want to answer.

“Everything ok?” Levi asked as Eren hobbled into the kitchen.

“Yeah,” Eren said, obviously not meaning it much.

Levi didn’t ask anything else, though, just giving Erwin a long look when he came back out. Once Eren was on the couch in the living room and watching TV, Levi raised his eyebrows at Erwin.

“He was afraid to wash his hands,” Erwin murmured, hoping Eren wouldn’t hear over the sound of the TV. He was either successful or Eren was choosing not to comment.

Levi just said, “ah,” and nodded in understanding, flipping the grilled cheese to make sure it was done before transferring it to a plate and cutting it in half. He turned off the stove and left the pan to cool before washing the knife and his own hands.

When they went out to join Eren and give him the sandwich, Levi and Erwin sat on either side of him instead of Levi on Erwin’s lap like usual. Eren missed having Levi sit on his own lap, since before the accident Levi would just choose whoever looked most comfortable, but Levi was made up of like 95% pure muscle, so he was a lot heavier than he looked, and they didn’t want to risk crushing Eren’s ribs.

“It helps if you set a limit,” Levi said once Eren had taken a bite of his grilled cheese. “Twenty seconds. When that’s up, you make yourself stop.”

Eren didn’t need to ask what they were talking about. “Ok.”

“Some people use a song,” Erwin added. “They sing ‘Happy Birthday’ twice or something along those lines.”

Eren nodded, and then smiled. “Now I’m thinking about how Armin hates that song,” he explained.

“Why does he hate ‘Happy Birthday’?” Erwin asked.

“He’s angry about the quote, ‘fucked up copyright laws that it has.’”

“It does,” Levi agreed, shrugging.

The smile slowly slid off Eren’s face. He put down his sandwich and looked forward at the TV for a minute. “They were there, you know,” he said. Erwin and Levi just looked at him, waiting for his explanation. “On my birthday. We ran into them. Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie. I thought… I thought it was a coincidence. They bought me a smoothie and we hung out for a while.”

After Eren’s words settled and Erwin and Levi realized what he was getting at, Erwin said, “Eren, it’s not your-“

“I’m so _fucking stupid_ ,” Eren interrupted with a bitter laugh. He was still staring straight ahead to the television, as if he was just talking to himself rather than Erwin and Levi.

“Oi!” Levi snapped, gripping Eren’s chin and making the younger face him. “Any normal person wouldn’t have thought it was anything! They would’ve just written it off as a coincidence, so you can’t blame yourself for it!”

“I’m not a _normal_ person, though!” Eren argued back. Levi released Eren’s jaw in the shock of those words and Eren turned back to face the TV, crossing his arms across his chest as he felt both of his boyfriends’ eyes on him. “I’m not supposed to just write things off as coincidences. I’m not supposed to think good things just happen. I’m supposed to be paranoid. Right? I mean, doesn’t this just go to show that I can’t trust anybody I meet, ever.”

Erwin and Levi were silent for a moment. In reality, Eren was right. He did have to be paranoid. This incident proved that. It just sounded harsh to put it so bluntly.

“Eren,” Levi tried. “It’s not-“

“Don’t try to tell me it’s not like that,” Eren interrupted.

“No, you’re right,” Levi said. “That is how this is. You can’t trust anybody. You have to be paranoid. We tried to warn you about that.”

“Levi-“ Erwin sighed, upset that he was being so harsh.

“You did,” Eren said. “I should have known. I _should_ have been suspicious of them. I _should_ have told you guys about them. I _should_ have kept this all from happening. But I didn’t. And that’s on me.”

“It is _not_ on you!” Levi yelled, standing from the couch. “If we didn’t do what we do, if we had just-“

“Just _what_?” Eren yelled back. He would have stood too if it wasn’t so difficult, so instead he just glared up at Levi. “Just never told me about what you did? Just never agreed to go out with me? Just never had a relationship with me at all?!”

“You _know_ that’s not what I meant!” Levi yelled even louder.

“Levi!” Erwin said sternly. “Eren!” He waited until the both of them looked at him to continue. “Calm down. Eren, you know we would never regret our relationship with you. Levi, you don’t need to yell at him. We all could have done more to prevent this, but we didn’t. The only thing we can do is learn from our mistakes and move on.”

Eren and Levi came down from their anger as they processed Erwin’s words. The man had always been the voice of reason when it came to Eren and Levi, who we both always too stubborn to admit when they were wrong.

“Sorry,” Eren muttered.

Levi just huffed and averted his eyes, and Eren and Erwin knew that was the best apology they’d get from him. Levi sat back down next to Eren and Eren went back to eating his grilled cheese. They watched TV for a while in silence.

When he was done eating, Eren put his plate on the coffee table and sat back for a moment. He leaned over as best as he could with his injured ribs and rested his head on Levi’s shoulder. He also reached over and took Erwin’s hand so he wasn’t completely left out. “I really am sorry,” Eren told Levi, who he could tell was still a bit upset about what Eren had said. “For _give_ me?” he asked, sing-songy and drawing out the ‘give.’

Levi smirked and ruffled Eren’s hair, turning to kiss his head. “Tch,” he responded, still smirking. He wrapped his arm around Eren’s shoulders and pulled him closer. “I suppose.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, an update! This is my horrible attempt at fluff and smut. Believe me when I say that it went terribly wrong.
> 
> As always, you can follow me or share comments/questions/prompts on tumblr at [downtheupstairs](http://downtheupstairs.tumblr.com/). I track the tag 'fic: waiting up' as well.

Eren realized over the next few weeks that he hated being babysat.

Levi and Erwin had to go back to work a few days after Eren and Levi’s argument, but Eren’s friends _just so happened_ to want to stop by whenever the two of them had to go. If didn’t take more than two days of this for Eren to realize what was going on. He was annoyed at Erwin and Levi for trying to keep this from him, and so he was angry at them for a few days about that, but then the two had a mission one night and Hanji was trying to keep him distracted but he was too worried about their safety to stay angry after that. He didn’t tell them that he wanted them to stay home the next day, but his pouting definitely played a part in why they called out of work, giving them the time to cuddle the entire next day.

Hanji was an interesting babysitter. Most of the time the doctor was the one keeping him company, because they had more work flexibility than Armin and Mikasa. After the first few days where Eren just moped whenever Erwin and Levi weren’t there (though he moped when they were too, because he was angry at them) and laid in bed, they ended up watching horror movies together. Eren would have thought that it would be a problem, given the fact that he was still having nightmares and still having some of his compulsions, but they were actually fine. Hanji apparently had a huge horror movie collection at home, so each day they’d bring some over. Eren had always loved horror movies, but he didn’t watch them much because Levi hated them – Eren suspected even though he was a tough, scary spy that he was afraid of them – and Erwin couldn’t sit through one without commenting on how fake everything looked. When they first started dating, Eren would have pegged Levi for the one who would talk through movies but nope, it was Erwin.

So it was nice to have somebody to sit through horror movies with, even though Hanji supported the villains just a little too much and cheered whenever somebody died, especially in horrific ways.

But it helped Eren feel a bit more normal. It still felt like Erwin and Levi were walking on eggshells around him and babying him. Whenever he washed his hands he would feel their eyes on him, and each time he had an itch he could tell they were waiting for him to tear at his skin. Sometimes he did. Sometimes he would get caught up in his mind and wouldn’t realize how long he’d been scrubbing at his hands until someone pulled them away and they were red, and sometimes he’d get the unshakeable feeling that his body was covered in sweat and grease and he just needed to get it off, but not all of the time. The tricks helped him control it. More and more he was able to wash his hands without someone needing to pull him away from the water. More and more he could take care of himself. He didn’t need to be treated like a child.

Hanji never treated him like a child. Mikasa and even Armin sometimes did, reminding him to count as he washed his hands and things like that. But with Hanji, if Eren stayed in the bathroom for too long or didn’t come back to the kitchen when he was getting something to eat, they would just turn off the water and dry off his hands and act like nothing had happened. They never asked him if he wanted to talk about it. They just went back to watching their movie. Eren preferred it that way.

So Eren didn’t mind when Hanji was his babysitter, because the doctor was his friend more than caretaker. Though, one advantage of Hanji being around so often was that they were able to check up on Eren’s injuries and do some physical therapy, and after a few weeks Eren was able to get his plaster leg cast taken off and replaced with a walking boot. He’d have to wear that for at least another month, but it meant he didn’t have to struggle with the crutches anymore, for which he was grateful. He was able to start getting back to his normal routine, too, which was awesome. Hanji may be a good caretaker, but their food choices were… interesting. The doctor wasn’t a _bad_ cook, per say, but they were definitely creative. Just because pineapple goes well on pizza does not mean that _all_ fruit goes well on pizza. Eren was very glad to get back in the kitchen and cook some normal food.

That didn’t mean that Erwin and Levi stopped babying him, though. Levi still tried to take over all the cooking and cleaning (though Levi normally did most of the cleaning anyway) and Erwin wouldn’t even let Eren deal with all their bills, which they normally switched off doing. And since he didn’t have any job to go to, Eren was getting bored. Once he was more mobile, he and Hanji would go out to lunch or to the park for fresh air, but Eren was still bored. He’d never been one to sit still and do nothing. And besides, the more time he had to just sit to himself and think, the more time he had to think about what had happened to him. He’d rather just ignore it and let it go. He needed to distract himself. He would like to get another job, but he knew he’d have to wait until he got the boot off before he even broached the topic with Erwin and Levi. And even after that, he wasn’t sure how the two would react. They’d probably want him to stay home all day in the safe little bubble. He was already dreading the argument. In the meantime, though, he was going crazy with boredom.

There was also one other thing that was bothering Eren, and he decided to bring it up one night while they were watching TV after dinner. It was the perfect opportunity. Neither Levi nor Erwin had to go into work the next day, and they hadn’t tried to intervene when Eren cooked dinner earlier. Levi was curled up on Erwin’s lap – he was still too afraid to sit on Eren’s – and Eren was sitting right next to them, Erwin’s arm around his back. They were watching some detective show and Erwin kept correcting police procedure. Eren wasn’t paying attention. He was trying to figure out how to go about doing this. He decided the direct route would be best and leaned his head onto Erwin’s shoulder.

“Will you guys please fuck me?” he asked.

Erwin and Levi looked at Eren in shock.

“Come _on_ ,” Eren whined. “It’s been over a _month_. I’m _so_ horny.”

Erwin’s face was scrunched up in concern. “I don’t know if that would be a very good-“

“I’m not made of fucking glass!” Eren argued, sitting up straighter. “You guys have been afraid to touch me ever since then! But you’re not going to hurt me, ok?”

“We should get Hanji to clear you for physical activity before we-“

“Hanji says it’s fine, Erwin.” Eren looked between his two boyfriends. Erwin still had his face scrunched up in worry and Levi was pointedly looking away, lips in a hard line. Eren had to use his last resort. “Don’t you trust me to tell you if something goes wrong?”

Neither of them answered or looked at Eren for a while.

“It’s not that we don’t trust you, Eren,” Levi finally said, still not looking Eren’s direction. “It’s just that-“

“ _Fine,_ ” Eren interrupted, standing up from the couch. “If neither of you will fuck me, I’ll just go jack off by myself.” He stomped into the bedroom as best he could with his leg still in the boot.

He closed the door behind him and roughly took off his clothes, throwing them on the floor as an extra “Fuck you” to Levi. He lay down in the middle of the bed and grabbed his dick, stroking it none-too-gently to try to get hard so he could do as promised and jack off.

He couldn’t, though. He was too pissed off and he felt too crappy and even though the month of celibacy left him plenty horny he just couldn’t do it, so he gave up and just lay there. He didn’t understand why Erwin and Levi wouldn’t fuck him. Why didn’t they trust him? Why didn’t they understand that he wasn’t fragile? Why didn’t they even seem to want to touch him?

Eren had never been extraordinarily insecure, but he couldn’t help but feel a little unloved. He would never admit it, because he knew it was stupid. He knew Erwin and Levi were just overprotective and over-careful. But it still hurt to have them barely brush his lips with a kiss and right after see the two of them share an actual one. It wasn’t like they were making out in front of him or anything, but he wouldn’t blame them if they’d fucked in the month the refused to fuck him. He didn’t know why they wouldn’t tell him about that – they always told the other when two of them fucked, because that kind of honesty was the only way relationships like theirs worked – and that was why he tried to convince himself that they hadn’t, but he didn’t know why they wouldn’t have. A month was a long time to go without sex, especially for the three of them.

He rolled over onto his front and hugged Erwin’s pillow to his chest.

All he wanted was sex. Why wouldn’t trust him that if he said he was ok and Hanji said he was ok then it was ok? He knew the two of them were older than him – Levi by eight years and Erwin by eleven – but that didn’t mean they had to treat him like a kid. He had thought they’d gotten over that, but apparently him getting kidnapped changed all that and made it even worse. He just wanted things to be normal again.

The door opened.

“I thought you were jacking off.” It was Levi who said that, of course.

Eren rolled over, clutching the pillow to his chest, and looked at Erwin and Levi in the doorway. “Maybe I already finished. It _has_ been a while.”

“Even you’re not that fast, kid.”

“How would you know?” The words snapped like a rubber band against Erwin and Levi’s skin.

The room waited in silence for somebody to ruin everything. Levi and Eren stared at each other until Levi finally backed down. Under different circumstances, Eren would have celebrated his first staring contest victory over the man. As it was, he just switched his glare to Erwin. Erwin’s mouth opened and closed with no words leaving it. Eren thought about apologizing, about saying that that was too harsh, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He didn’t know if he would mean it if he did.

Eren got off the bed and went over to the dresser. He put on a pair of boxers and turned to go into the bathroom, ignoring his clothes from earlier that were still on the floor.

“We’re sorry,” Erwin said, stopping Eren in his tracks right before he went into the bathroom.

“For what?” Eren asked, not turning to face the two of them.

Erwin hesitated just a split second. “For being overprotective.”

Eren stood still, hands on the bathroom doorframe, and he stared at the tile in front of him. He stood still for what seemed like forever until he lifted his head and turned it to his boyfriends. “No you’re not,” he said sadly, “and that’s not the problem.” And then he took two steps and closed the door behind him.

He pissed. He brushed his teeth. He tried to stall going back out there, not sure what he’d see and not sure what he’d do. He tried to come up with a plan. After a final deep breath, he opened the door.

Levi and Erwin hadn’t moved an inch from the bedroom doorway. They looked at Eren for a long minute, and Eren looked at them.

Again, Eren was the one to move. He hobbled in his leg boot to the bed and grabbed the pillow he’d been clutching earlier, and then he walked until he had to stop in front of his boyfriends.

“There’s only one couch,” Eren said, hoping they’d get the message to move out of the way. They did.

“We love you, Eren,” Levi said after Eren had stepped through them. It somehow sounded accusatory.

Eren stopped cold and took a second before turning to face the two again. He took a breath. “All I want is for you to trust me.”

He closed the bedroom door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you the fluff and smut went horribly wrong.
> 
> I'm so sorry. Blame Erwin and Levi though. It's their fault.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly smut tbh.
> 
> Also a humorous mid-life crisis courtesy of resident old guy Erwin Smith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Most of this is smut, as the summary states, and I just got really unconfident in my smut-writing skills as I worked on this chapter. I'm still really unconfident in them, and I have no idea if the smut in this chapter is any good, but I'm going out of town for the weekend with my parents so I probably wouldn't be able to write this there and I didn't want to make you guys wait even longer. That's also why this chapter is very unedited. 
> 
> But yeah, enjoy the old-married-trio sex with lots of dialogue and them making fun of each other. I tried to make it realistic in the fact that like not all of it is sexy and all that. I try to do that in other parts of my stories, too. Like, sometimes there isn't this deep dark silence after an argument. Sometimes the person you're angry at says something funny and you laugh even though you're angry at them, y'know? But anyway. The three of them are kind of like an old married couple, except a trio since there's three. Hopefully it's not terrible.
> 
> Oh also there's some bottom!Erwin in this chapter, which is a very late sort-of addition to bottom!Erwin week I guess, but yeah if you don't like that sorry. It's not exactly my cup of tea most of the time either, but it fit in this chapter.

Eren grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and lay down, using it to cover his entire boy, including his head. He clutched Erwin’s pillow to his chest. He didn’t know when he started crying, but suddenly he was, and it wasn’t pretty crying, either. It was pathetic, blubbering, snotty crying. He didn’t even know what he was crying about. Yeah, maybe Erwin and Levi wouldn’t have sex with him, but that wasn’t something to cry like this about.

It wasn’t like they didn’t love him or anything. And it wasn’t like they were in there fucking without him. But still, Eren cried. He didn’t even hear the bedroom door open and two sets of footsteps pad out into the living room. He didn’t notice until Erwin spoke hesitantly.

“Eren?”

The boy tried to wipe his face even though it was still under the blanket and calm himself. “What.”

“Can we talk?”

“Are you just going to tell me I’m too fragile and breakable to do anything again?”

“That’s not what we said,” Erwin said softly.

Eren pulled down the blanket so that he could show his boyfriends his unconvinced look.

“Alright,” Erwin conceded. “We won’t tell you that again.”

“Good.”

Eren didn’t say anything else, so Erwin sighed, trying to figure out where to start.

“We do trust you, Eren,” he eventually began.

“But?” Eren asked, sensing one coming.

“But we’re idiots,” Levi supplied.

“Yes,” Eren pouted. “You are.”

“We risk our own lives all the time,” Erwin added. “But when it comes to you…”

Eren sat up. “Why don’t you worry about Levi like this then?” he asked, and then turned his eyes to Levi. “And you, about Erwin?”

“We do,” Erwin assured Eren. “We do worry about each other.”

“But you know that he can take care of himself. You _trust_ him to be fine or let you know when he’s not.”

“We’ve had years of training-“ Levi argued.

“That’s not the difference,” Eren said. “The difference is that if Erwin got shot in the arm and told you two days later he was completely fine to go back to work you’d have no problem with it. But even though both me and Hanji are saying that I’m more than fine to do _something_ , anything so that I’m not just sitting around on my ass going over and over what happened in my mind because I don’t have anything else to think about, you still don’t trust me. You don’t trust me and you don’t trust Hanji. It doesn’t matter about the training. Hanji’s had plenty of training as a doctor, but you don’t trust them.” Eren looked between his boyfriends’ matching guilty looks. “When will I be ready to your standards?” he asked. “When I lose all my muscles from sitting around doing nothing? When I’ve seen every single episode of _Days of Our Lives_ and _General Hospital_? When I go absolutely crazy from never leaving this apartment for the rest of my life?”

There was silence for a minute at the end of Eren’s speech.

“We never meant it that way, Eren,” Erwin said. “We were just-“

“Being careful,” Eren finished. “I know. But that’s stupid.”

“If you got hurt again-” Levi said.

“I’d get over it,” Eren finished again. “Maybe you’re ok with letting this one thing that happened consume you for the rest of your lives but I’m not going to. I’m going to move on.”

Erwin sighed. “You’re right,” he said. “We can’t dwell on this forever.” He exchanged a glance with Levi. “And if you say that you’re fine, then we’ll trust you. We’re sorry.”

“You should be.”

“And we are,” Levi snapped.

“Levi,” Erwin warned.

Levi sighed. “I’m… sorry,” he gritted out.

Eren couldn’t help but smile, knowing just how hard that was for Levi to say. “Alright,” he responded, standing up. “I forgive you. For now.” He would have to see them actually change and let all this go to be sure. He grabbed Erwin’s pillow and walked past his boyfriends and into the bedroom. They followed and soon they were all settled in to sleep, Eren in the middle.

Before they started to fall asleep, Erwin leaned over Eren and kissed him, actually kissed him, not just a brush of the lips, for a few seconds.

“I love you,” he said. “Goodnight.”

“Love you too,” Eren repeated. “’Night.”

When Erwin moved, Eren pulled Levi over to kiss him as well. Their kiss lasted a bit longer, but Eren was tired and wanted to sleep soon. They could make out more tomorrow. After their kiss, Eren told Levi, “I love you,” as well.

Levi placed one last kiss on Eren’s lips. “You too, brat,” he said.

Erwin pulled Levi up for a quick goodnight kiss as well. “Love you Levi,” Erwin said, a smirk playing at his lips. He knew Levi didn’t like these drawn out declarations of love.

“Yeah, yeah,” Levi said, turning around so he could get settled in bed again. “I love you, you love me, we’re all a happy family. Let’s just go the fuck to sleep now, ok?”

Eren and Erwin chuckled and settled in to sleep as well.

A few minutes into them all falling asleep, Eren spoke up quietly. “Now I’ve got that song stuck in my head, Levi,” he whispered.

Behind him, Erwin chuckled again and softly began to sing, “ _I love you, you love-“_

“I will kick the both of you in the balls if you do not shut up,” Levi threatened.

The other two just laughed again before they settled down to finally sleep.

 

* * *

 

Eren woke up to Erwin’s arms around him and Levi’s spot on the bed vacant. He knew Erwin must have already gotten up and exercised and showered and decided to come back to bed, because Eren never woke up before him. He could smell something cooking in the kitchen, so he assumed that’s where Levi was.

He slowly blinked awake and turned in Erwin’s arms so he was facing the man.

“G’morning,” he said sleepily.

Erwin smiled down at Eren and kissed him. “Good morning.”

Eren adjusted so that he and Erwin were holding each other more comfortably. “What’s Levi doing?”

“Making pancakes,” Erwin answered, giving Eren another peck, which turned into a deeper kiss. He explored Eren’s mouth for a few minutes, before he began trailing his lips down Eren’s neck.

Then Eren pushed him away gently.

“I thought you were ‘so horny’?” Erwin joked.

“Mmm,” Eren answered, getting out of bed and wandering into the kitchen. He continued talking as Erwin followed him. “Pancakes will only be hot for a few minutes. You’ll be hot forever.”

“I’m going to remind you that you said that when I start turning gray,” Erwin responded as Eren poured himself a cup of coffee.

“You’re already turning gray,” Levi oh-so-tactfully said.

“I am not,” Erwin protested.

Eren went over to the man with his coffee cup and fiddled with some strands of Erwin’s hair. “Sorry hon,” Eren said, finding a few strands of gray. “Levi’s right.”

To see if they were actually right, Erwin went into the bathroom to find the gray hairs himself. “Oh my god,” he said when he saw they had been telling the truth. “I’m old.”

“Not old,” Eren said from the doorway, sipping his coffee. “Dignified. And don’t worry, you’re still hot. And at least you don’t have wrinkles.”

“Don’t even mention those,” Erwin said.

“Erwin, stop stressing about becoming an old fart and come eat,” Levi called from the kitchen.

Eren laughed and Erwin pouted and the two of them went out to the kitchen, where Levi was setting the table to eat. Before sitting down, Eren stopped Levi to give him a good morning kiss as well. Then they all dug into their food.

Levi made great pancakes. It was an undisputed fact. Eren asked once if he would make chocolate chip ones, but Levi had just gotten this scary aura and refused. He still didn’t know what Levi’s problem with it was, whether it destroyed the integrity of the pancake or was just messy. Either way, he refused to ever put any additions in the batter, and so Erwin and Eren just shut up about it and enjoyed their delicious buttermilk pancakes.

After they finished eating, Eren insisted on taking care of the dishes, and Erwin and Levi let him probably because of their argument from the night before. As he cleaned, Levi sat at the kitchen table reading the newspaper, even though Eren was fairly certain he’d already read it and was just trying to be inconspicuously close by in case Eren needed help with anything. At least Erwin went to the living room and watched TV instead of worrying.

Once he was finished with the dishes, Eren went into the living room and claimed Erwin’s lap for a seat before Levi could.

“Hey!” Levi said when he walked in with his second cup of coffee for the day.

“You snooze you lose,” Eren mocked, settling further into Erwin’s lap.

Levi huffed and sat down next to the two. He stretched out along the free length of the couch and rested his legs over Eren’s lap. “Are you planning on staying in your boxers all day?” he asked Eren.

“Well,” Eren said, playing with Levi’s toes. He knew Levi would object if they didn’t keep the entire house sparkling clean so his feet couldn't be that dirty. “I’m hoping to spend at least some of it _completely_ naked.”

“Is that your subtle way of saying you want to have sex?” Erwin asked.

“Aaaall day,” Eren answered, leaning his head back on Erwin’s shoulder.

“Well let’s get to it then,” Levi said, standing up.

“You’re just angry that I took your spot on Erwin’s lap,” Eren teased.

“Hey, if you don’t want to fuck-“

“No I want to fuck,” Eren said, getting out of Erwin’s lap and starting to hobble quickly to the bedroom, still having to walk awkwardly because of the boot.

“Ok, you look pathetic,” Levi said. He grabbed Eren by the hips and hoisted him over his shoulder. He was worried about Eren’s ribs, but he didn’t complain about it so he trusted that Eren was ok.

In fact, Eren laughed. He reached down his arms and smacked out a quick rhythm on Levi’s butt as the man carried him into the bedroom. He heard Erwin turn off the TV and follow them.

Once they were in the bedroom, Levi put Eren down on the bed with uncharacteristic gentleness. Even though carrying him had been fine, Levi was still worried about hurting him.

Eren scooted up on the bed and waited for Erwin and Levi to join him.

Before they did, though, the two got undressed. Erwin was just in sweats and a t-shirt, and Levi had been wearing jeans and one of Erwin’s t-shirts, so it didn’t take them very long.

Once Levi was finished, he crawled up over Eren and slid his fingers under the waistband of Eren’s boxers and dragged them down, Eren helping him by lifting his hips to get them off. It was a little awkward to get it over the boot, but hey, not everything could be sexy.

Meanwhile, Erwin had finished getting undressed as well and got out the lube and condoms and climbed onto the bed. He got on his knees behind Levi and rubbed his hands up the muscular man’s sides.

“So, how are we doing this?” Erwin asked, always one for logistics.

“I’m gonna ride you,” Levi said from his position straddling Eren’s hips, locking eyes with the younger. “And then he’s gonna ride you.” He kicked gently at Erwin to indicate ‘he.’

“You just want me to do the least effort possible while still being able to call it ‘fucking’, don’t you?” Eren asked jokingly.

“If you don’t want us to ride you…“ Levi began.

“No please do it,” Eren whined, grabbing at Levi’s shoulders pulling him down to kiss.

As they kissed, Levi brought his hands up to play with Eren’s nipples, making the younger whine and squirm. He was sensitive after not having sex for so long. Levi thought it was fun.

Soon he jerked away and looked back over his shoulder at Erwin, saying, “Fuck!” Levi took a breath and added, “Give a guy some warning before you shove a finger in his ass.”

Erwin just smirked and moved his lubed finger in and out of Levi’s hole, knowing he’d need pretty good preparation after so long.

Eren could tell when Erwin started brushing against Levi’s prostate because maintaining a kiss became impossible. Instead, Eren moved his lips down the man’s neck and to his collarbone to bite and suck. He made the mistake once of leaving a mark above Levi’s collar and Eren wasn’t allowed to touch him until it went away so that he would “learn his lesson.” Levi did not like having to cover up hickeys, but Eren liked marking him and Erwin, so he made sure after that to stay below the collar.

After a few minutes, Levi reached behind himself and pulled Erwin’s hand away from my ass, saying, “Jesus fuck, Erwin, I’m ready. You’re supposed to be prepping me, not getting me off.”

Once again, Erwin just chuckled and pressed soft kisses to Levi’s back as the other moved to put a condom on Eren’s dick, adding a little extra lube before he slowly sat down on it. Out of the corner of his eye, Levi noticed Erwin move to wipe his lube-covered fingers on the bedspread. “No,” he snapped. “Wipe them on a towel. You’re not a fucking pig.”

Erwin rolled his eyes. “You’re the only one who cares and yet you never get a towel out before we start,” he said.

“Well I’d do it now,” Levi said as he fully sat down and let himself adjust. “But I’ve got a dick in my ass.”

Eren laughed at them as Erwin got off the bed to go get a towel from the bedroom, and Levi returned his attention to the younger.

“What are you laughing at?” he asked, purposefully clenching his muscles so that he’d tighten on Eren, making his laugh catch in his throat.

“Fuck, Levi,” Eren groaned, moving his hands to clutch Levi’s shoulders in an effort to not buck up his hips until he knew Levi was ready. “Can you move yet?” he asked.

“Not all of us are as young as you, kid,” Levi responded. “You can wait.”

“No I _can’t_ ,” Eren whined, but it was stopped when Erwin got back on the bed, hand dried off using the towel he brought with him, and leaned over to catch his mouth. As they kissed, Erwin reached up to take one of Eren’s hands off Levi’s shoulder, bringing it down to Levi’s dick.

“You could help him, you know,” Erwin said, wrapping Eren’s hand around Levi’s cock and guiding him to stroke it as he went back to kissing the youngest.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Levi said in response to the new sensation, putting a hand on Erwin’s shoulder to steady himself. It didn’t take very long before Levi started moving, using his grip on Erwin’s shoulder to help push himself up. He didn’t need much help, though. One of the advantages of having spy boyfriends was that they were both very fit and could therefore ride dick like maniacs. In fact, it often made Eren feel a bit inferior. That’s why he always tried to keep himself fit, though he was never as fit as the other two. Now that he’s been so inactive for the past month, however, he had a lot of catching up to do.

But that wasn’t what was on Eren’s mind as Levi was bouncing on his cock and Erwin was sucking on his neck. Rather, he was trying to focus on moving his one hand on Levi’s dick and using the other to search for Erwin’s dick to stroke him too and also not cum right then because it would be embarrassingly early. At least Erwin was still helping him with Levi’s cock.

After a bit of adjusting the angle, Levi managed to get Eren’s dick to hit his prostate and he kept that angle as best he could while also feeling like he was completely losing control over his body.

It didn’t take much more after that for Levi’s rhythm to stutter and for him to release over Eren and Erwin’s hands. Levi’s tightening over Eren’s cock was nearly enough for him to cum as well, but then he remembered that Erwin was going to ride him next so he held off so they wouldn’t have to wait. Of course, they’d probably all go for round two later, and Eren – young as he was – had a shorter refractory period than either of his boyfriends, but he still didn’t want to wait any longer for Erwin. Part of it was out of consideration of the fact that the man already had to wait so long, and part of it was Eren’s own impatience. Erwin didn’t bottom often.

“You didn’t come,” Levi said once he had caught his breath and started pulling himself off Eren’s still-hard dick.

“Didn’t want to make Erwin wait,” Eren explained, voice tight because he was _so_ hard and he _really_ wanted to come right then.

“Well aren’t you considerate,” Levi drawled, getting off of Eren’s lap and kneeling at his side instead.

Eren ignored the sarcasm and shifted his gaze to Erwin, whose cock he was still lazily stroking. “Please Erwin?” he nearly whined. Levi reached over and cruelly ran a single finger of the tip of Eren’s dick. “ _Fuck_ I need you,” Eren continued, not taking his eyes off the blond. “ _Please_.”

“Since you’re so polite,” Erwin said with a smirk, moving to straddle the younger. He picked up the bottle of lube and handed it to Eren, who immediately began to slick up his fingers.

“Why are you so polite to him?” Levi asked in mock offense as Eren began rubbing circles around Erwin’s entrance.

“Because he rewards me when I’m nice,” Eren commented, focusing on gently inserting his middle finger into Erwin’s ass. Since Erwin didn’t bottom often, he wanted to be careful. It didn’t matter how strong you were or how much you looked like Captain America – a dick in the ass is a dick in the ass. “You just tease,” he finished, talking to Levi even though he wasn’t looking at him.

But then he had to look at Levi, because he was less than an inch from his face, glaring harder than usual. “I can do worse than tease,” he growled, and then Eren jerked when he felt a strong pinch on one nipple.

“Fuck!” Eren shouted, and he accidentally shoved the rest of his finger into Erwin harder than he’d intended. He saw the man wince a bit, so he said sorry.

“It’s not your fault,” Erwin assured him. “Levi, stop antagonizing him while he’s fingering me.”

“That’s what you get for shoving your fingers in my ass without notice earlier,” Levi grumbled, but he took his fingers off Eren’s nipple, instead moving his mouth to it with a comment about kissing it and making it better.

Concentrating on fingering Erwin got a bit more difficult after that, but Eren managed to get three fingers in there to stretch him with only a couple more winces, and then Eren asked if he was ready and Erwin said yes and next thing he knew Erwin was lining himself up and Eren’s eyes were nearly rolling to the back of his head it was so good, especially after that period since Levi got off where he’d been calming down and now suddenly _fuck_ did Erwin feel good.

Eren was incapable of human speech once Erwin was fully sat down, and he vaguely thought Levi was poking fun at him for his reaction, but he really didn’t care because it felt fucking amazing. He calmed down a bit as Erwin adjusted, but as soon as the man started moving again he was pretty much lost to the world.

Realizing that Eren was pretty much useless, Levi reached down to help jack Erwin off as he rode the youngest. To thank him, Erwin pulled him in to make out as he rode Eren. Maybe Eren did have a point to the whole Erwin rewarding good behavior thing, Levi thought.

Since he was already so worked up, it only took a couple of minute for Eren to seize up and cum with a shout that wasn’t any recognizable word, though it might have been an attempt at either Erwin or Levi’s name. Erwin kept riding him until Eren was too sensitive, at which point he pulled off to let Levi finish him off with his hand.

He didn’t expect a panting Eren to lean over and brush Levi’s hand away so that he could take Erwin down his throat. Eren didn’t do an amazing job at blowing him, as he was still recovering from his own mind-blowing, long-overdue orgasm, but he definitely got an A for effort, and the pure enthusiasm made it so that minutes later Erwin was warning Eren that he was about to cum, expecting him to pull off. Instead, Eren surprised him again and kept sucking him as he came, swallowing around him. He made sure to suck him through his orgasm before falling back to the bed, fully exhausted.

“Fuck, Eren,” Erwin commented as he came down from his high, flopping down on the bed and pulling Eren’s back to his chest, tilting his head so that he could kiss him.

“Disgusting,” Levi commented, but he laid down on the other side of Eren anyway.

“You’re just jealous,” Eren said, even though he knew that it wasn’t true. Levi was just too much of a clean freak to give a blowjob to someone who hadn’t just showered. Eren reached forward to pull Levi close and tried to kiss him, fully expecting Levi’s hand on his face pushing his mouth away. He knew he’d have to brush his teeth before expecting another kiss.

That didn’t mean they couldn’t cuddle though. They had to rest up for round two, after all. Eren tied off his condom and Levi wiped everybody down with the towel and then they all settled in for a good cuddle session.

It only lasted about twenty minutes before Eren’s phone went off. Unfortunately, it was all the way on the end table and with his current position as the middle of the sandwich he couldn’t reach it.

“Erwiiiiiin,” he whined. “Can you get my phone for me?”

The man grunted but reached over to get it, looking at the caller ID as he did so.

“Shitty glasses?” he asked. As far as he knew, Levi was the only one to call the doctor that.

“Levi changed all my contacts when he was bored last week,” Eren explained, taking the phone. “I haven’t bothered changing it.”

“You’re Shitwin,” Levi told Erwin.

“Thanks,” Erwin replied sarcastically.

Eren finally answered the phone. Both Erwin and Levi could hear Hanji’s shrill cry of Eren’s name from the other end.

“Hey Hanji,” he said. “What’s up?”

Erwin and Levi still found it weird that Eren and Hanji had become such close friends.

“Did you finally convince Levee and Erwee to do the do last night?”

“Not last night,” Eren answered, ignoring Erwin and Levi’s shock and anger at how much Eren was talking to Hanji about their sex life. “But it’s funny that you called now; we like just finished.”

“You are _not_ talking to Shitty Glasses about our sex life!” Levi said sternly, taking the phone from Eren’s hand.

“Oh come _on_ , Leevee,” Hanji argued. “I’m a _doctor_. It’s nothing I don’t know about!”

Levi fully ignored the doctor and hung up the phone. “I cannot believe you tell _Hanji_ about our _sex life_ ,” he told Eren.

“Well I’m not talking to Armin or Mikasa about it, and I needed advice on what to do because you two wouldn’t fuck me!” Eren argued, finding the whole situation fairly funny. “Hanji was very helpful.”

“Please don’t tell them any more about what goes on in this room,” Erwin asked, his arm thrown over his eyes in humiliation at the situation.

“Well, just make sure to fuck me on a regular basis and we won’t have any more problems,” Eren conceded.

Levi put Eren’s phone on the edge of the bed and laid down again. “We’re never talking to Shitty Glasses ever again,” he said, mostly to Erwin.

Eren just laughed and pulled his two boyfriends in to cuddle again. Though he’d intended for more sex not too much later, their plans were delayed when they all ended up falling asleep, too comfortable as they were wrapped up in each other.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some dancing, some body image issues, some smut, some pigging out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I've been having health issues that are just making life kind of miserable and my meds are making me super tired so it's harder to write.
> 
> This originally was not meant to have any smut but then smut happened. I got the idea for the bj in here from the fic Tentative Bliss which you all should totally read if you're not.
> 
> But yeah, lots of stuff happens in this chapter. There's a tiny little bit of sexual assault but it's barely anything I promise.

Less than a week after he got his walking boot taken off, Eren managed to convince Erwin and Levi to go to a club. In the entire time that the three of them have been dating, they have been to a club twice, and both times it was entirely at Eren’s cajoling. Eren loved clubbing, but usually went with his other friends because of how his boyfriends hated them and because Connie and Sasha are the most fun people to club with.

But Eren still loved going with his boyfriends and getting to dance with them and be all clingy in public. Normally they all avoided overt public displays of affection, partly because they all knew how annoying that could be and partly because it avoided the nasty looks people always shot them. But at a dark nightclub, nobody really cared who you were grinding against or making out with.

It had taken a lot of whining and convincing and promises of various sex acts, but Eren finally got Erwin and Levi to agree to go with him that Friday night. They both had the next day off, and no missions that night, so they had no excuses not to. Eren had made them a light dinner that was carb-based so that they wouldn’t be too full to dance but would be able to drink without getting too drunk too quickly.

When it started getting late, Eren squeezed himself into his skinniest jeans and a tank top, throwing on some bracelets and a necklace like he only ever did when he was going clubbing. Erwin opted for a more conservative button-down and slacks – now that he thought about it, Eren wasn’t sure if he owned any jeans – while Levi went in-between the two, with a casual button-down and jeans.

They went to a gay club in the city that had a pretty good reputation, and it didn’t take long at all for them to get in. After slipping some people some cash, they also secured a booth along one of the walls so that they could sit and drink before they went to dance. Of course, it only took Eren two shots before he was dragging Erwin up and onto the dance floor. He knew there was no way Levi would even budge until he had a couple more drinks in him.

Erwin was not the best dancer. Well, apparently he was quite adept at the waltz and tango, but he was definitely not great at club dancing. Eren didn’t really mind, though. He just had Erwin stand there with his hands on Eren’s hips so he could grind up against him.

After some time, Eren was tired and getting sweaty so he decided to have Erwin go get another round of drinks while he joined Levi back at the table. When Erwin got there, he found a disgruntled Levi with a sweaty Eren straddling his lap.

“You’re fucking disgusting you sweaty pig,” is what Levi was saying as Erwin set the drinks down.

“Aww come on,” Eren whined. “Dance with me.”

“Ugh, fine.”

Eren cheered and got off Levi’s lap. He chugged half of one of the beers Erwin had brought and started tugging on Levi’s arm to get him to come faster.

“Let me finish my fucking drink first,” Levi insisted, not budging until he’d finished the whisky Erwin had got him. Erwin has known Levi would be getting cajoled into dancing and would need to alcohol.

Eventually Eren was back on the dance floor, this time with his other boyfriend. Levi was much better than Erwin, rolling his hips with Eren, even if he did make sure to appear completely disinterested the whole time, except when he was glaring daggers at anyone who started ogling Eren.

Somehow, they ended up making out. They stood there on the dance floor, being shoved around by other people, kissing, until finally Eren ran out of breath.

“I’m gonna go get more drinks!” he yelled over the noise of the crowd. “I’ll meet you back at the table!”

Eren shoved his way to the bar, pushing his way in between people until he was at the front. He had to wait a little bit to get the bartenders attention, so he just kept leaning over to see if the guy was available until somebody started talking to him.

“Hey,” the guy said loudly over the music, and Eren looked at him. He was pretty hot. “What are you drinking?”

“Tequila,” Eren answered.

The guy managed to flag down the bartender and ordered two tequila shots. He handed one to Eren and they did them together.

“What’s your name?” the guy asked once they’d done the shots.

“Eren,” he answered, and then he remembered he was supposed to be getting drinks for Erwin and Levi. “I should really get going, my-“

“Aw, come on,” the guy interrupted. “Let’s just talk some more.”

“I really should-“

Eren was interrupted when he felt a mouth on his neck and hands on his waist and a body pressed up behind him. He turned to see that Levi had come up and started kissing his neck.

“Hello,” he said, surprised at Levi’s sudden presence. He looked back to the other guy. “This is my boyfriend-“

“Oh,” the guy said. “Ok. Didn’t realize you were taken. Sorry.” And then the guy left. Eren was a little sad that they couldn’t get to know each other more, but he was also pretty drunk at the moment and he always got friendly when he was drunk.

“Why’re you here?” Eren asked Levi once the man stopped sucking on his neck. “I told you I’d get the drinks.”

“Are you kidding?” Levi asked. “I could see that guy trying to get into your pants from a mile away.”

“What? No, he wasn’t flirting,” Eren insisted. “Why would he be flirting?”

Levi gave Eren his best ‘you have _got_ to be kidding me’ face. “A twink like you with that ass and those eyes?” he asked. “Why _wouldn’t_ he be flirting?”

Eren considered Levi’s words. “But… you’re hotter.”

Levi smirked and patted Eren’s cheek. “Keep thinking that, brat.” While Eren was confused over the words, he called over the bartender and ordered their drinks.

Eren still didn’t understand what Levi had meant when they got back to the table and sat down. He took a sip of the drink Levi gave him and frowned.

“Hey,” he complained. “This isn’t alcohol. This is Coke. Isn’t there supposed to be rum in here or something?”

“It won’t hurt you to take it slow, brat,” Levi said. He knew Eren’s tendency to over-drink when he went to clubs, which was why he’d taken it upon himself to get him something nonalcoholic to help him pace himself.

Eren pouted, and leaned into Erwin’s side, refusing to talk to Levi out of anger. They all sat there and sipped their drinks, and eventually Eren stopped pouting as much and joined Erwin and Levi’s conversation.

After a while, once he was done with his whiskey, Levi got up to go to the bathroom, leaving Eren and Erwin alone.

They ended up making out too, of course. It was nicer because they weren’t being shoved around by everyone on the dance floor, but also worse since they were sitting down the angle was a little weird. But Eren mostly cared that he was making out with one of his boyfriends and that was what mattered.

Once Levi came back, Eren decided he had to piss too. He pushed through the crowds and managed to get to the bathrooms and did his business.

Somebody stopped him as he exited the bathroom.

“Oh,” Eren said, recognizing the guy in front of him as the guy from the bar before. “Hi again.”

The guy smiled. “Hi.” He stayed standing in front of Eren, so Eren couldn’t easily get back to Erwin and Levi.

“I thought you were taken,” the guy said. “When your boyfriend came up. But then I saw you making out with the other guy so I guess you’re more open than I’d thought.”

“Huh?” Eren asked. “Oh, no. They’re both my boyfriends. I have two.”

“That’s alright,” the guy said. “Open relationships are cool, man.”

Was it just Eren or was the guy getting a lot closer to him?

“Um, no,” Eren said, mind muddled with alcohol as he tried to think. “It’s not- We’re not-“

“Hey, it’s all cool, cutie,” the guy said, and then his lips were on Eren’s. It only took a second for Eren to push him away.

“What are you doing?!”

“What do you think?”

“I’m in a relationship!”

The guy pulled away, confused. “Yeah. With two guys.”

“Yeah!”

“So…”

“So what?”

“Hey, if you don’t like me, man, just tell me.”

“It’s not that, but-“

“Then but nothing.” The man moved forward again and pressed his lips against Eren’s, who grabbed the guy’s hand and pushed him away harsher than before.

“I _told_ you I’m in a relationship!”

“I don’t get it, you said-“

“I said that I’m in a relationship!”

“But-“

The guy started moving in closer again and Eren took the man’s pinky finger in his free hand and bent it back until he heard a ‘snap.’

“What the fuck?!”

“If you touch me again I’ll break more than just a finger,” Eren growled.

The man pulled his hand back and cradled his broken finger to his chest. “You’re a freak, man!” he shouted as he turned around and disappeared into the crowd.

Eren stood there and caught his breath for a moment before heading back to the table. Erwin and Levi were making out when he got there, but they stopped when they realized Eren was just standing in front of the table rather than sitting down.

“Let’s go home,” he said once their eyes were on him.

Erwin and Levi burst into action when they saw how upset Eren was, grabbing their jackets and getting out of the booth in record time, all while looking Eren over for signs of injury.

“What happened?” Erwin asked, putting an arm around Eren’s waist as he escorted Eren out of the club, Levi on Eren’s other side to ensure his protection.

“Nothing,” Eren said, and he didn’t follow up until they were out of the club in the cold air and heading to the car. “That guy from before started talking to me again. He was just a little pushy is all.”

“What did he do?” Levi asked, and Eren could hear the fury he was trying to restrain and feel how Erwin’s hand tensed on his shoulder.

“He kissed me.”

Erwin and Levi both tensed further.

“Anything else?”

“I broke his finger.”

Erwin laughed, and Eren thought he could see a bit of a smirk on Levi’s face.

“I told him if he touched me again that I’d break more than his finger.” Even Eren couldn’t help but smirk at his retelling.

“Good job,” Erwin said.

They got to the car then and Erwin tossed the keys to Levi. He opened the back door for Eren to get in and Erwin climbed in after, Eren staying in the middle seat while Erwin sat behind the driver’s seat where he had more legroom with Levi moving the seat up to reach the pedals.

They all buckled up – only a little while into their dating, Eren started yelling at Erwin and Levi for not wearing their seat belts and didn’t stop until they agreed to wear them at least when they were in the car with him – and Erwin put his arm around Eren again as Levi began to drive, knowing that the younger would want the contact at that moment.

Eren was satisfied just leaning his head on Erwin’s shoulder for a minute, but then he put his hand on Erwin’s cheek and directed the man’s face toward his so that their lips met. He sighed into the kiss and they lazily frenched the whole car ride home. Eren needed this. He knew it was stupid but there was something about having Erwin’s lips wipe away the memory of the rough press of the other guy’s mouth that let Eren relax. It was a comfortable kiss, their bodies having long ago learned the taste and feel of the other’s.

When they got home, they all changed into comfy clothes and since it was still fairly early decided to watch a movie. Eren had sobered up quickly after his run-in with the guy, and he was still in a pretty foul mood. Erwin went to go make their usual late-night movie drinks – tea for Levi, hot chocolate for himself, and coffee for Eren because he’s a freak and having caffeine that late doesn’t keep him up – as Eren found a movie on Netflix. He found one fairly quickly, which was a rare happenstance, and decided to spend the rest of the time they were waiting for Erwin straddling Levi’s hips and kissing him. He already had Erwin’s lips wash away the creepy guy from before, but he needed Levi’s also. Thankfully, Levi understood this need and returned the kiss, letting Eren control the pace for once. They kissed the same way Eren and Erwin kissed earlier – casually and showing just how long they’ve been together with how well they knew each other’s mouths.

They pulled apart when Erwin came back, and they arranged themselves to watch the movie. They nested like Russian dolls, Erwin sitting with his back to the armrest of the couch, Eren sitting in between his legs with his own legs outstretched, and Levi in his lap. They moved the coffee table closer so that they could all easily reach their drinks, and after turning off the lights they started the movie. As usual, Erwin started commenting about five minutes in about how “that’s so unrealistic!” and “why wouldn’t they just-“ and “nobody would ever _actually_ do-“ and Levi was kind enough to tell him to fuck off every time he opened his mouth.

The three of them never actually managed to watch movies together whenever they tried to. It always ended up like this, and eventually Eren would start asking questions about who characters were and what was going on because he missed it while Erwin and Levi were arguing, and between that and everything else, nobody actually heard what was going on. That’s why they never actually watched movies to watch the movie. It was more of just a way to spend time together and get really fucking annoyed with each other. It was a good tradition. And if any of them ever actually wanted to see a movie, they did it with other people or alone.

Somehow, Erwin managed to fall asleep by the end of the movie, so Levi and Eren actually were able to watch the end, but they had no clue what was going on, so they didn’t pay a whole lot of attention anyway. Eren ended up giving Levi a massage because his shoulders were right in front of him and he was bored, but the moans Levi started making as he worked out his tense muscles started making Eren aroused, so he decided to stop.

It was getting late and since Erwin was already asleep he didn’t want to get into all that now. Since Levi and Erwin were off the next day and they didn’t have any plans, they could just spend the day fucking then. Especially since Erwin and Levi had to leave for a few days on a mission the next week. Apparently they were staying in the city, but just for whatever they were doing they weren’t able to come home for some time. And whenever they had to leave for a few days on a mission Erwin and Levi made sure to practically drown Eren in attention both before they left and after they returned. It was one of the factors in Eren convincing them to go out tonight. So they’d have plenty of opportunities to fuck tomorrow. For now, they finished up the movie. Eren woke Erwin as Levi washed their mugs, dragging the sleepy man to the bedroom to brush his teeth and get in bed. Eren and Levi did the same and they crawled in bed as well, where Erwin was already back to lightly snoring, curling up with each other as they always did and falling asleep.

 

* * *

 

They didn’t end up having sex quite all day the next day. First of all, that would be a little unrealistic especially given Erwin and Levi’s age, which meant that they needed longer to recuperate – though they still liked to take advantage of the fact that Eren’s recovery time was quite a bit shorter than theirs – and second of all, they were running out of food, so Erwin and Eren had to go to the grocery store. They left Levi behind and let him clean the apartment, because whenever he went shopping with them he managed to sneak about fifty dollars worth of junk food in the cart. It wasn’t that they couldn’t afford it, but they didn’t need it. It just made them fat and unhealthy and once it was in the apartment Erwin and Eren couldn’t help but eat it too, so they went on shopping trips by themselves now since they had more self-control.

Eren linked his arm with Erwin’s as the older man pushed the cart down the aisles. Erwin was pretty much just the designated cart-pusher, staying with it while Eren ran around looking for the food on their list. The grocery store had rearranged everything since the last time they had been there, so it took them longer than usual to do the shopping. They didn’t mind much, though. They liked just hanging out together. The three of them always liked spending time together, but it was important for them to spend time with just one of them sometimes, too. Erwin and Levi were able to do that at work most of the time, but even they sometimes spent some alone time together outside of that, just like Eren and Levi and Eren and Erwin sometimes did.

Once they figured out where everything was and checked out, Erwin and Eren headed home, but not before deciding to stop at the local donut shop that was just so conveniently on the way home. Ok, so maybe they weren’t as bad as Levi about getting junk food, but nobody’s perfect.

They got donuts and took them home so they could eat them with Levi, who was very happy about having them even though he didn’t actually appear that way. Erwin and Eren knew how to read him by now and knew when he was trying to act cool. After eating donuts and putting away groceries and helping Levi finish cleaning the apartment, they finally tumbled into bed for some fun. They had to work off the donuts, after all.

And Eren definitely regretted the donut afterwards because he was totally wiped out. He really did need to start exercising again, but he couldn’t do anything besides the exercises his physical therapist showed him after he got the walking boot off. He probably shouldn’t have tried riding Levi after already being fucking by Erwin. At least Levi was far enough gone at that point not to make any comments about it when Eren started getting too tired and he just flipped them over to pound into him and Erwin started sucking marks onto Levi’s shoulders. Both Erwin and Eren loved Levi’s shoulders. Granted, Eren loved both Erwin and Levi’s entire bodies, but Levi had great shoulders. They really showed off how muscular he was. It was hot.

But currently Eren was sprawled on the bed, exhausted, as Erwin sat on the edge and gently cleaned him with a washcloth and Levi went to the bathroom.

When Levi came back and Erwin went to go rinse out and hang up the washcloth to dry, the shorter man lightly shoved Eren’s leg where he was sprawled out on the bed. “Come on,” Levi said. “Move your ass. You’re taking up the whole bed.”

He expected some sort of quip in return, but instead Eren just mumbled, “Sorry,” and curled up so that Levi had plenty of room.

“Hey,” Levi said, climbing on the bed and sitting next to where Eren lay. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Eren lied, hiding his face in the sheets.

Levi rolled his eyes. “Yeah, like I believe that.”

Erwin returned from the bathroom and came to sit on Eren’s other side. “What’s going on?” he asked, seeing Levi’s annoyed and worried face and how Eren was trying to hide in the sheets.

“He won’t tell me,” Levi said, exasperated.

“It’s nothing,” Eren insisted again, voice muffled by the sheets. “It’s stupid.”

Levi finally got too annoyed and he grabbed Eren’s shoulder and flipped him over so he wasn’t hiding anymore. “Well, it’s still bothering you, so why don’t you tell us what it is so we can convince you just how stupid it is?”

Eren frowned and rolled over again onto his stomach. He buried his head in his arms for a minute and tried to figure out how to phrase what he was thinking. “I need to start working out again,” he finally said.

Erwin and Levi exchanged confused looks. “Why do you say that?” Erwin asked.

“Because I’m so out of shape,” Eren mumbled into the bed.

“What?” Erwin asked, not able to understand Eren’s mumbling.

Eren turned over in frustration and looked at the ceiling. “Because I’m fat,” he said, and he covered his eyes with his arm to avoid Erwin and Levi’s reactions. He didn’t want to see them. He knew they’d tell him he was being stupid. He knew himself that he was being stupid.

Levi lightly kicked Eren’s leg. “You’re not fat, you idiot,” he said.

“Why do you think you’re fat, Eren?” Erwin asked, definitely the nicer of Eren’s boyfriends.

Eren groaned. “It’s not that…” he said. “I’ve just… gotten really out of shape recently.”

“Well it’s not like you’ve got a good reason or anything,” Levi said sarcastically.

Eren huffed and turned back onto his side, grabbing a pillow and clutching it to his chest. “Still,” he said. He closed his eyes and sighed and finally got to the crux of the problem. “I’m always fat compared to you guys.”

Levi flopped back on the bed as he groaned. “Seriously?” he asked. “ _That’s_ what you’re worried about? So fucking stupid.”

“ _Levi_ ,” Erwin hissed, trying to get him to be more polite. He turned to Eren. “Eren, you’re not fat. You’re average for your height and age.”

Eren just mumbled incoherently into his pillow and Levi sat up and turned Eren onto his back again. He grabbed the pillow out of Eren’s hands and threw it aside as he moved to straddle Eren’s hips, unmindful of how naked the three of them still were.

“Listen, brat,” he said. “You’re not fat. You can’t compare yourself to me and Captain America over there. If we didn’t have to stay this fit for work, I can bet you that neither of us would look like this.”

“I know that,” Eren sighed. “But still, standing next to you two, I can’t help but…” He sighed again, not finishing his sentence because he knew it was stupid.

“Look,” Levi said, grabbing Eren’s wrists and pinned them to other side of his head. “You are fucking hot, ok? And we’re not leaving this bed until we convince you of that.” With that said, Levi leaned down and captured Eren’s lips. He didn’t stay there very long before he moved to kiss every inch of his face. His nose, his eyelids, his cheeks, his forehead, his chin – he left a kiss on every surface he could.

Eren eventually just closed his eyes and let it happen, but he opened them with a gasp when he felt another set of lips on his toes. He craned his head around where Levi had started sucking underneath his jaw to see that Erwin had taken one of his feet in his hands and was kissing it just like Levi was with his face.

Erwin paused for a second to meet Eren’s gaze. “We love you, Eren,” he said. “And you know we think you’re gorgeous no matter what.”

Eren just nodded and rested his head back, letting his eyes slip closed again as his two boyfriends slowly worked their way towards each other, leaving no inch of skin untouched. They both lingered on Eren’s most sensitive spots. Levi nipped at Eren’s ears and grazed his teeth over his nipples while Erwin sucked gently at the backs of Eren’s knees and lightly tickled the arches of his feet.

Needless to say, by the time the two got close to his pelvis, Eren was a hot mess. Erwin got there first and started sucking marks into Eren’s hipbones, and Levi worked his tongue down from Eren’s navel, down the line of fine brown hair towards his cock, which he pointedly avoided by heading towards the opposite hip and copying Erwin.

Eren fisted his hands in the sheets next to him, following the unspoken order not to touch himself as he bucked his hips up. “Please…” he breathed, his cock aching for attention.

His boyfriends ignored him until they had kissed every inch of his front except his dick.

Finally, Levi lifted his lips from Eren’s skin and climbed up to straddle Eren’s chest and look down at him. “Do you get it now, brat?” he asked. “Do you get how fucking gorgeous you are?”

Eren just whined and bucked his hips to no avail. “Come on…” he complained. He didn’t care about his body image anymore. He just wanted to cum.

But Levi wasn’t having any of that. He grabbed a fistful of Eren’s hair and pulled his head up so that Eren was looking directly at Levi’s dick. “See how fucking hard I am, Eren?” he asked. He turned his head to look at Erwin, who was observing them, and shifted so Eren could see the oldest man’s dick as well. “Erwin, too,” Levi added, and then he released Eren’s hair, letting the boy’s head flop back onto the bed. He leaned down so the two of them were face to face and stared Eren in the eyes. “That’s all because of you, brat. That’s all just from fucking touching you. You didn’t even have to do a thing and you still make us hard, even Mister Viagra over there-“

“Hey!” Erwin objected, but Levi continued anyway.

“So do you get it now? You are fucking gorgeous. Shit, wasn’t I just telling you last night what a perfect twink you were? And with your ass, fuck.”

Erwin realized Levi was getting off topic and decided to step in. “What Levi’s trying to say,” he said, still kneeling by Eren’s hips. “Is that we’d love you no matter what you looked like, but you don’t even need to worry about that because you are beautiful. Objectively _and_ subjectively.”

“Exactly,” Levi concurred. He looked back into Eren’s eyes. “Do you understand now?”

Eren nodded slowly, beginning to believe their words but knowing that they would take time to process. And they would process better when he wasn’t fucking hard as a rock.

“Good,” Levi finished. He gave a quick peck to Eren’s lips before he crawled off of his chest and back down towards his hips, once again going to the side opposite Erwin. He smirked at the blond man, and Erwin smiled mischievously back, and Eren worried for his heart, knowing that the two were silently planning something.

Suddenly, there was not one but two mouths on his cock. Eren threw his head back and groaned, overloaded by the dual sensations. He would never have expected Levi to agree to do this, since he wasn’t fresh out of the shower. But Levi surprised him, mouthing at the head of his cock while Erwin sucked at the base. If Eren thought having one person suck his dick was amazing, that was no preparation for having two people do it at the same time. He eventually managed to prop himself up on his elbows so he could watch what his boyfriends were doing, realizing that he did not want to miss out on the opportunity to add some great material to his mental spank bank. He rarely had to actually use that, because he had two boyfriends to satisfy his needs, but it was always helpful to add to it.

He nearly came right away when he saw Erwin and Levi’s lips meet at the tip of his cock and the two exchanged a kiss while managing to keep his dick in between them. And then Erwin started taking him down his throat and Levi began sucking at his balls, and Eren couldn’t stand to watch anymore. He fell back and let his eyes close and just focused on the pleasure. Erwin and Levi kept trading off focusing on his cock and balls, and when he started to get close Eren reached down and grabbed a fistful of each of his boyfriends’ hair and tugged to warn them. They switched so Erwin was sucking the tip of his cock and Levi was gently nipping at the base until Eren tensed up completely and came into Erwin’s mouth. The man milked him through it as Levi pulled away and moved up to kiss Eren and swallow his moans.

Finally Eren groaned and shimmied his hips away from Erwin as he became over-sensitized. Levi pulled away from Eren too and both boyfriends looked down on the panting brunet.

“That was…” Eren attempted to say. “Fuck.”

Levi chuckled. “Get it now, brat?”

Eren nodded as he tried to catch his breath, and he grabbed the back of Levi’s hair and pulled him down for another kiss. “I love you,” Eren panted, sloppily kissing Levi for a minute before he let go of him and reached for Erwin instead. He pulled him in in a similar fashion and kissed him as well, uncaring about the taste of his cum in the man’s mouth. “Love you too,” he gasped between kisses, and he eventually let go of him as well to lay back and finally catch his breath.

“We love you too, Eren,” Erwin assured him. “And we think you’re gorgeous.”

Eren looked his two boyfriends over and realized that the both of them were still painfully hard. “I’m exhausted,” he said, and he made grabby hands at Levi and pulled him over towards Erwin. “You two fuck. I’ll just watch.”

And they did. Eren moved over to give them plenty of room as Erwin got out the lube again and started fingering Levi open. Eren reached over to lightly trail his fingers down Levi’s arm and play with his fingers. When Erwin started brushing Levi’s prostate – which Eren could tell by the way the man shuddered and groaned – Eren decided to reach over further and play with Levi’s nipple, rubbing and flicking and pinching until between Erwin and Eren’s ministrations Levi was a wreck and growling at Erwin to just get on with it.

Erwin leaned down to kiss Levi as the shorter man adjusted to his cock, so Eren moved his hand away from Levi’s chest and just watched his boyfriends for a bit. He was still exhausted from earlier, and it was definitely too soon for him to get hard again, but he was perfectly content to just watch them. After a few minutes Erwin started to move, and Eren reached out to grab Levi’s hand and linked it with his own, kissing his fingers and his wrist just so that he felt like he was doing something.

Since they had already been so hard thanks to worshipping Eren before, it didn’t take very long for Erwin and Levi to get close to the edge. Propping himself up on one arm, Erwin used the other one to jack Levi off as he continued to pump into him. Levi moved the hand Eren was still holding to grip the back of the youngest’s head and pull it towards his own so the two could kiss, this time Eren the one swallowing Levi’s sounds as he came. Erwin came soon after and Eren moved off Levi so that Erwin could take his turn kissing him.

The two of them slowly came down from their high, and eventually Levi crawled out from underneath Erwin to go clean himself up. Erwin followed him after a few minutes to go throw away the condom and clean himself off. Eren decided that he should help too, and he put away the lube and fixed up the bed before crawling under the covers. Levi and Erwin came back not too much later and got back in bed as well, curling up on either side of Eren for lazy kisses and cuddles until they finally slipped asleep to take a short nap.

 

* * *

 

They went out to eat that night, wanting to keep the day special since Erwin and Levi would be going on their mission in a few days, and since they had already been unhealthy enough with the donuts before they decided to just throw the whole day away. Sometimes it could be a bit awkward when the three of them went out together, because once they showed any signs of affection towards the others people started looking at them like they were disgusting heathens. It had bothered Eren at the beginning of their relationship, all the dirty looks and comments they got, but he’d learned to just shake it off and focus on having a good time with his boyfriends. It wasn’t that bad this time anyway, since they didn’t end up making too many public displays of affection, other than Levi trying to play footsie with both Eren and Erwin at various times during their dinner.

Normally when they went out to eat, they got a dessert to share, but they had decided to go out to Cheesecake Factory so there was no way they were splitting that. It didn’t matter how big the slices there were; they each got their own slice of cheesecake. It was the whole reason they went there, after all. They didn’t go to Cheesecake Factory for the bread – though it was pretty good as well. Of course, they were stuffed by the time they finished the bread and their meals, so they got their cheesecake to go and ate them once they had gotten home and digested a bit more. At home it was also easier for them to snag bites of each other’s cake, too, so it all worked out in the end.

They had kind of planned on having another round of sex before bed, but they all felt too fat after dinner and dessert, so they just lazed in front of the TV until they crawled into bed and just cuddled until they fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

A few days later, Erwin and Levi said goodbye to Eren before they left for their mission. Eren made them all a big breakfast as a sendoff, and he tried to look unaffected when they kissed him goodbye, but his boyfriends knew him better than the slight frown he showed as they put their shoes on.

“We’ll be fine, Eren,” Erwin promised. “We’ll be back in four days.”

Eren crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. “I know,” he said. “Will you call?”

Erwin sighed.

“We can’t risk that,” Levi said.

“Oh.” Before Eren got kidnapped, they would try to call when they could when they were on missions. But he guessed that now that that’s happened, they wanted to keep Eren as hidden from their enemies as possible.

“We’ll be ok, brat,” Levi promised, pulling Eren into his arms. “You know that.”

“I don’t though,” Eren said. “You can’t promise me you won’t get hurt. You don’t know for sure.”

Erwin finished tying his shoes and stood up, putting a hand on Eren’s shoulder. “We’ll try our best,” he amended. “That’s all we can do.”

Eren rested his forehead on Levi’s shoulder. “Alright,” he sighed. He hugged Levi tighter. “Don’t get hurt,” he ordered. He moved to hug Erwin and told him the same thing.

“We’ll try,” Erwin repeated. “Do you have plans for while we’re gone?” He and Levi were worried about Eren going back to a dark place without them there.

“Yeah,” Eren said. “Mikasa and Armin are coming over for dinner tomorrow, and I’m hanging out with Sasha and Connie sometime, too.”

“Good.”

“I wish I still had my job,” Eren mentioned offhand. It would give him something else to do to distract himself while they were gone.

“I know,” Erwin said.

“You could start looking for one now that your leg’s better,” Levi commented, even though he was still hesitant about Eren working again. He and Erwin were still worried about him getting kidnapped again.

“Yeah, maybe…” Eren said, thinking about if he wanted to do that or not. He brought himself back to the present. “Well, I guess you guys should get going now, right?”

“We should, yes,” Erwin agreed. He leaned down to give Eren another hug and kiss. “I love you,” he said as he hugged the younger.

“I love you too,” Eren responded. “Stay safe.”

“I will.”

Erwin moved out of the way to give Levi the room to say goodbye to Eren. Eren hugged Levi and the two of them kissed as well.

“You stay safe too,” Eren ordered Levi. “I love you.”

“You too, brat,” Levi said, kissing Eren once more before they left.

Eren watched from the doorway until his boyfriends were in the elevator and he could no longer see them, after which he went to lie down on the couch and try to watch TV.

 

* * *

 

Two days later, Eren hadn’t slept a wink. This was always the worst part of Erwin and Levi’s missions – even when they were gone for a week, Eren could barely sleep out of worry. He got sick of infomercials after a while so he turned on Netflix – he mentally thanked Levi for convincing him and Erwin to get a smart TV – and watched some _Dexter_. Honestly, it probably wasn’t the best show to watch in his current state, but he was in the middle of a season and at least he would be able to concentrate on it.

It was about four-thirty in the morning when there was a knock on the door.

The suspicion that Erwin and Levi had trained him to have kicked into gear and Eren paused his show. He crept over to the table by the door and pulled out the gun in the drawer. He turned off the safety as he looked through the peephole. The girl standing there looked awfully familiar… Didn’t he see her while he was recovering at Survey Corp? She brought them the new cell phones…

But since he wasn’t positive, Eren kept the chain on the door and just peeked out, holding the gun to the floor but making sure the woman could glimpse it through the crack.

“Eren?” the short woman asked when he opened the door. She looked at the gun but didn’t show any signs of fear or violence. “I’m Petra,” she said. “We’ve met before?”

“Yeah,” Eren said, not showing any signs of moving to let her in. His heart was pumping with adrenaline and he still didn’t trust this woman, no matter if he’s already seen her.

“Oh,” she said, realizing how Eren was still a bit hostile. “Um,” Petra seemed to be thinking of something. “Maria?”

Eren was just thankful he was able to turn the safety back on before he dropped the gun to the floor. That was their safety word. Not only their safe word in bed but their all-purpose safety word. They’d set it up back when Erwin and Levi told Eren what they did for a living. Petra saying it to him meant he could trust her, but it also meant something else. It meant they were hurt or worse.

He managed to pull himself together to unlatch the door so Petra could come in.

“What happened,” Eren demanded, not even realizing how heavy his voice was with tears that were about to fall the second Petra told him what happened.

Petra remained calm as she entered the apartment and closed the door behind her. She looked sadly at Eren. “Eren,” she said, reaching out to put a comforting hand on his arm. “You need to get to the hospital.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gets to the hospital only to learn some bad news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I've gotten myself busy writing yet another fanfiction, Gyroscope, which has sort of taken over my life. I really need to get another chapter of icsmwo up too, so hopefully that'll be up soon. But since I left you on such a cliffhanger here I decided to prioritize this over icsmwo. 
> 
> I also got a full-time internship that I'm starting in 2 weeks, so when that comes updates may slow down. I'm really excited about this internship, though. It's a great opportunity. 
> 
> But yes, it's a short chapter but you finally get an answer as to what happened here! Sorry to keep you waiting so long.
> 
> As always, you can find me on tumblr at [downtheupstairs](http://downtheupstairs.tumblr.com/).

“What is it?” Eren asked, unable to move. “What happened?”

Petra moved for him, finding his shoes and lifting his feet and slipping them on for him. Eren allowed it. He was too shocked to do anything else. Before he even got an answer Petra had gotten the house keys and pulled Eren out the door and locked up.

She didn’t answer until they were in the elevator down.

“Erwin got hurt,” she said. “They were in a factory, and their cover got blown…”

“Is he still alive?”

“As far as I’m aware, yes.”

Eren let out a sigh of relief, but the feeling didn’t last long. “What about Levi?”

“For the most part unharmed,” Petra answered.

“Good.” Eren didn’t think he’d be able to stand it if both of them were hurt. He wasn’t even sure he could stand it when it was only one.

Before he knew it they were in a car and Petra was driving through the nearly empty city streets.

“You said we’re going to the hospital?” Eren confirmed, making sure he’d heard right.

Petra bit her lip before answering. “Yes,” she admitted. “We don’t have the… necessary resources at the office.”

“Necessary resources?”

“We’re only equipped for simpler things.”

Eren tried not to think about what that meant for Erwin’s status and changed the subject. “Why didn’t Levi come get me?”

“He’s staying with Erwin. He sent me because he was worried about you driving after you heard.”

Eren felt stupid for assuming Levi would leave Erwin’s side after getting injured. Sure, Eren was worried, but Levi would be even more. He had probably seen what had happened. He probably knew more about what had happened. He must be scared to death.

But Eren was glad he’d had the foresight to send Petra. Eren could barely function at the moment, and he should not at all be in control of an automobile. Sending Petra had been a good call.

The drive to the hospital seemed to take forever.

There was no traffic, and they didn’t even hit many red lights, and Petra was definitely pushing the speed limit, but Eren could have sworn it took an hour for them to get there, even though more realistically it’d be around fifteen minutes.

It didn’t help that they had to park in a parking garage and walk almost a block to get in, since they were visiting. Once they finally got to the emergency room entrance, Eren nearly ran in. He was only stopped when Petra put a hand on his arm as he approached the counter and was about to demand to know where Erwin was.

But Petra just held up a badge and one of the nurses told them to come “right this way” and escorted them through the halls.

Eren swore the nurse walked slower than a fucking snail. He had all this terrified energy and he just wanted to see his boyfriend, where was his boyfriend, was he ok, what exactly happen, would he be alright-

The nurse dropped them off at a waiting room, and she was saying something, but Eren was focused on the fact that Levi was there. He ran over and completely enveloped the other man in a hug, burying his head in Levi’s shoulder.

Standing still finally forced all the nervous energy out through his eyes in the form of tears and he was suddenly sobbing. He vaguely recognized that he was shaking and that Levi was rubbing circles on his back but he just needed to cry for a bit. Just enough to get the knots out of his stomach and jitters out of his veins.

After a few minutes he managed to wipe his tears on Levi’s shirt and pull away to look at the man’s face.

“Where’s Erwin?” he asked, voice thick with tears. “What happened?”

Eren realized as Levi gently wiped under his own eyes that he had been crying as well.

“He’s in surgery,” Levi said, and Eren could tell he was trying not to sound as if he’d been crying. “They don’t know how long it’ll be.”

Looking over Levi’s shoulder, Eren spotted some empty chairs – most of the chairs were empty, actually; they were almost the only ones in the waiting room – and led them over to sit down. He still didn’t take his hands away from Levi’s shoulders. “What happened?” he asked again.

“It was my fucking fault,” Levi snapped, looking away. “I was being backed into this shredder at the factory and I should have gotten out of it on my own but I waited too long and he came and shoved me out of the way but-“ He stopped speaking, apparently unable to continue.

“A shredder?” Eren repeated, even more worried about Erwin now than he’d been before.

“His arm-“ Levi’s jaw snapped shut, as if his body was forcibly stopping him from saying anything else.

But Eren didn’t need to hear any more. He shifted in his seat so he could pull Levi onto his lap, the two of them uncaring about Petra and the few other people in the room seeing them like that.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Eren assured Levi, holding him close as possible.

“It was,” Levi protested. He let his forehead rest on Eren’s shoulder as he leaned into the younger.

“He’ll be fine,” Eren tried again. He was trying to convince himself just as much as Levi now. “He’ll be fine. We’ll all be fine.”

 

* * *

 

They waited another two hours and forty-five minutes before the doctor came out to talk to them. Eren and Levi were still huddled together, Levi on Eren’s lap and the two of them just comforting each other in their worry. Eren grilled Levi about his own injuries, and it turned out he’d been grazed in the leg, but it had already been fixed up, and the rest of the blood on Levi’s body apparently belonged to Erwin.

As soon as the doctor came into the waiting room, Levi got out of Eren’s lap and the two stood up, talking over each other as they both asked about Erwin’s status.

The man held his hand up and the two worried boyfriends quieted down to let him speak. He glanced at a clipboard before he began.

“Mister Smith _will_ be ok,” he started. “The machinery did a number on his arm, however. It was basically as if his arm got stuck in a large blender.”

“But you can fix it, right?” Levi demanded.

The doctor sighed and Eren and Levi both knew the news wasn’t good. “I’m afraid we couldn’t. The damage was just too extensive.”

“What are you saying?” Eren pressed.

The doctor took a deep breath. “We had to amputate the arm.”

Eren couldn’t speak. He couldn’t move. It was as if Petra had told him they needed to get to the hospital all over again. His mind couldn’t process what the doctor had just said. His legs gave out on him, and he stumbled back into a seat.

Levi, on the other hand, was furious. He grabbed the doctor by the collar of his lab coat and pulled him down to his eye level. “ _What did you do?”_ he seethed.

“There-There was no other way!” the doctor stammered, taken aback by Levi’s harsh response.

Hanji came around the corner then, having been in the room during Erwin’s surgery. When they saw Levi they ran over and pulled him off the doctor. “Levi!” they exclaimed. “Levi! It’s not his fault, Levi. We couldn’t do anything else. If you had seen what it looked like-“

“I _did_ see!” Levi yelled, shaking Hanji off. “I was _right fucking there!_ ”

“Then you should know!” Hanji shouted back, and in the vague corner of Eren’s mind that was paying attention to the situation he realized that this was the first time he’d ever seen Hanji cry. “There was no way he could have lived with that arm! The nerves were _shredded_ , Levi! _Shredded._ _If_ the bones and muscle could have healed, and _if_ he even had feeling in what was left, he would constantly be in pain for the rest of his life. This was the _only_ choice we had.”

Levi still fumed, but he didn’t respond. He knew Hanji was right. He wasn’t angry at the doctors. He was angry at the universe; angry at himself.

Finally Eren looked up at the other three. “Can we see him?”

Hanji and the other doctor exchanged glances, and then the hospital doctor said, “He’s still unconscious from the anesthesia we gave him. We’re going to keep him in a medically induced coma for a couple of days to let his body heal some more. But you can go back and see him if you’d like. Dr. Zoe, will you show them to his room?”

“Of course,” Hanji answered, ushering Eren and Levi down the hall. As they were walking, Eren reached out and grabbed Levi’s hand for support.

Seeing Erwin lying on the hospital bed rooted Eren in his spot in the doorway. Levi had to tug him gently forward into the room and to Erwin’s side. There were cannulas in the blond man’s nose to provide him with oxygen and a tube coming out of his mouth that Eren didn’t know what it was for. His hair was caked with blood and there were scrapes and spatters over his face, but nothing too bad.

The worst part was covered by a blanket that had been pulled up to his neck. A couple of tubes came out of it on the left side, the IV lines that were stuck into his left – his only remaining – arm.

Levi finally gathered the courage to pull down the blanket and see the damage. Beside him, Eren gasped as they got a look of the empty space where Erwin’s right arm should lie. His arm had been cut off just a couple inches above the elbow, so there was a bit of a stump there. The stump was wrapped tightly in layers of bandages, so thankfully they couldn’t see the actual arm. Eren was afraid of what it would look like. He was afraid for Erwin, who wouldn’t be able to write, who wouldn’t be able to drive, who wouldn’t be able to hold both Levi and him at the same time ever again.

He pulled Levi into his arms and began to cry again. He felt the slight shaking of Levi’s shoulders and held him even tighter, the two of them leaning on each other and sobbing for who knows how long. They eventually calmed enough to bring two chairs up to the bedside and sit, holding each other the best they could in the position. They weren’t going to be leaving Erwin’s side until he was better, and if the doctor’s earlier words were any indication, they had a long wait in for them.

 

* * *

 

The next few days were quiet. Eren and Levi sat in Erwin’s hospital room, just watching the unconscious man breathe. Sometimes one of them would sleep, resting either on the other’s shoulder or with their head on the edge of Erwin’s bed. They left only to go to the bathroom, and they always made sure at least one of them was keeping an eye open for any change, even though they knew it’d be a few days until the doctors would wake him up. There was a 24-hour guard outside the room, and when Eren asked Levi about it he said that they were other Survey Corps members, making sure nobody tried to finish Erwin off while he was in such a fragile state. Some of the guards seemed to know Erwin and Levi, expressing their condolences as they showed up for their shifts.

Petra or Hanji would bring them food and sit for a while, everyone mourning the loss of Erwin’s arm in silence. Eren had never seen Hanji so solemn before. Levi and Eren would only eat a few bites of food that their guests brought and then lose their appetite. Eren called Mikasa to let her know what was going on and not to worry if she didn’t hear from him for a while. She and Armin visited once, bringing flowers for Erwin and food for Eren and Levi.

Eren didn’t ask for details about what happened. He thought about it, a few times, but each time he opened his mouth to ask Levi, he decided that he really didn’t want to know. It was for the best, anyway. He knew Levi wouldn’t want to talk about it just as much as he didn’t want to know.

So they just sat. When their legs went numb they walked around the room until they got the feeling back and then they sat some more. They drank gallons of coffee and barely ate anything. Eren wondered if this was how Erwin and Levi had been while they waited for him to wake up, and he knew that it was. He suddenly felt terrible for Levi, having to go through this twice. After that realization, he made sure to hold the shorter man even more tightly.

 

* * *

 

Four days later, the doctor decided to wake Erwin up. They didn’t let Eren or Levi in the room for his actual waking. Apparently they just wanted the doctor and a psychologist there when they told him about his arm. Levi had threatened to cut off the doctor’s own arm for not letting him stay, but Eren just ushered him out, too tired to fight anymore, and held Levi close as they waited to be let in.

It seemed to take forever. How long does it take someone to wake up? But they supposed the doctors had a lot to tell him, after what happened. Eren and Levi just wanted to be there to help him deal with it.

Finally, _finally_ , the doctors came out and said they could go inside.

“Before you go in,” the psychologist said. “Know that he’s still a bit in shock. It’s a big adjustment, and it’s very painful. So be careful when talking to him. I’ll be back later to talk with him some more.”

Eren and Levi knew all this already. In some of the many free hours they’d had the past couple of days, the doctor had told them what to expect after Erwin woke up. They knew that waking up to one less limb wouldn’t exactly be a walk in the park.

When they entered, Erwin sniffled, and Eren and Levi saw tears on his cheeks. Erwin made a motion as if he were trying to wipe his tears, but the hand he wanted to wipe them with was no longer there. When he realized his mistake, he did the action with his other arm, but the failed action just caused new tears to well in his eyes. He was obviously trying to hide the fact that he was crying, even from his boyfriends. Eren didn’t think he’d ever seen Erwin cry before. He knew for a fact that he’d never seen either of his boyfriends cry from pain. They barely even winced when Eren dug bullets out of them.

But these tears weren’t necessarily from pain. They didn’t look particularly pained. Eren realized that he was mourning, just as he and Levi had done the last few days.

“You can cry,” Eren said from where he and Levi were still standing by the doorway, hesitant to come forward. He didn’t even realize he said anything until the words were already out. “I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t.”

Erwin stared for a long moment at Eren, and then all of a sudden he broke down.

Eren and Levi rushed forward to comfort him, managing to both hug him at the same time while not jostling the stump of his amputated arm or the IV lines coming from the other.

There was nothing they could do for a while but hold him. They whispered things to him as if they were precious secrets, things like, “It’ll be ok,” and “It’s alright, let it out,” and “You’re alive, that’s what matters,” and “I love you. _We_ love you.” Neither of them had ever seen Erwin break down like this, and they got the feeling this was the first time it had happened to Erwin, too, by the way he tried to hold it in, which worked just as well as holding a towel up to a waterfall to stop its flow.

None of them knew how long Erwin cried, and they didn’t care to know, because they all knew without saying in the backs of their minds that this would be a moment that got tucked away in the back of their sock drawers and never mentioned again.

Eren and Levi let Erwin use their shirt collars as tissues, something to which Levi would usually harshly object, but nothing about this situation was particularly usual. As Erwin calmed, his two boyfriends pulled up chairs on either side of him and kept close. Levi held Erwin’s remaining hand and Eren played with the sheets over Erwin’s chest. And once again they just sat there. Erwin rested his head back against the bed, looking up at the ceiling and blinking through his remaining tears.

His arm was gone.

What was he supposed to do now? He definitely couldn’t go back to his job. He wouldn’t be able to fight, to escape from difficult situations, to drive, to do anything. He’d stand out too much with only one arm. He wouldn’t even be able to hold a pencil. He’d have to learn to write all over again, this time with his left hand. So many things required two hands, and he wouldn’t be able to do any of them ever again.

He was useless.

And that didn’t even start to include the pain. It felt as if his arm was caught in the machine all over again, constantly getting chewed up over and over and over. The doctors had warned him he’d feel this before Eren and Levi came in the room. Phantom limb pain. The pain meds he was on would do nothing to help it, since it was all in his mind to begin with. It’d get better eventually, with therapy and time, but for now he had to live with it.

He didn’t know if he could do that. He didn’t know how to even try.

 

* * *

 

Erwin didn’t actually talk until a few hours later. His first attempt was cut short, and Eren ran and got him a cup of water for his dry throat before he tried again.

“Did we at least finish the mission?” he asked, looking at Levi.

Levi didn’t say anything in response, but the way he looked away was answer enough.

“Fuck,” Erwin said. “We didn’t even find out anything?”

Levi still didn’t meet Erwin’s eyes.

“Not even how they’re making their drugs?”

“Nothing,” Levi said quietly.

“You’re talking about the Titans, right?” Eren asked.

“Yeah,” Levi said.

Eren was quiet after that, deep in thought. Levi explained the cover story Erwin was supposed to follow so that Survey Corp remained secret. He was only staying in the hospital until he was well enough to transfer to the ward in the Survey Corp building, anyway.

Eventually the psychologist knocked on the door and came in, asking to talk to Erwin alone again. Eren and Levi left and went to sit in the waiting room. Levi looked at Eren, confused, because he seemed like he was focusing very hard on something and Levi couldn’t imagine what that would be.

After a few minutes, Eren stood up. “I’ll be right back,” he mumbled, not even looking in Levi’s general direction before he swiftly walked out of the waiting room. He walked down the hallway until he found a stairwell. Nobody was in there because they stairways were out of the way and the elevators were much more convenient, so he was alone.

Eren took his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it, heading to his contacts. It took him a few moments to find the number he was looking for.

The phone only rang a few times before the person on the other line picked up.

“Dot Pixis?” he asked. “It’s Eren Yeager. I changed my mind. I’m accepting your offer.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I'm gonna say is that I made myself cry writing this, so... please don't murder me.
> 
> As always, my tumblr is [downtheupstairs](http://downtheupstairs.tumblr.com/).

Eren walked back to the waiting room after getting off the phone with Pixis – he told Eren on the phone to call him that – trying to come up with an excuse as to why he had left Levi so suddenly. He knew he’d have to tell Erwin and Levi eventually, especially since he was scheduled to start training in two weeks but… not now. Erwin just woke up today. He needed to wait a bit to tell them. Yeah, maybe what he was doing could be called procrastinating but… Well, there was nobody to call him out on it so it wasn’t a problem.

Levi raised his eyebrow at Eren when the younger walked back into the waiting room. Fuck, the eyebrow. Levi always did that when he knew someone was hiding something from him. Eren hated it when Levi gave him the eyebrow. Just one glance at the eyebrow made guilt bubble up in Eren’s throat and threaten to spill the truth out of his mouth. And Levi knew exactly how that look made Eren feel.

“Do anything exciting?” Levi asked, turning his eyes away from Eren and pretending to inspect his nails disinterestedly. That just made Eren feel worse.

“No,” Eren said, but even he could hear how obvious his lie was. He walked over to Levi and sat down next to him, but they didn’t touch.

Levi scoured Eren’s face for any signs of the truth, but all he saw was guilt. He scowled and grabbed Eren’s chin to make him look up and meet his eyes. “Look, kid,” he said, glaring at Eren, who was now cowering like a guilty puppy. “I don’t know what you’re up to, and maybe it’s not my place to know – it’s not like I’m your fucking boyfriend or anything – but you’d better get it through your head that Erwin is in there, and he just found out he lost his fucking arm, so before you choose to keep secrets remember that we have to fucking be there for him and if you’re not prepared to do that then you should just leave right now.”

A slew of emotions flickered over Eren’s face in record time. Guilt, shame, sadness, shock, disbelief, finally settling on anger. “Of course I’m going to be there for him!” he exclaimed, standing up. “I can’t believe you’d think I wouldn’t!”

Levi stood as well, not backing down from this. “Well how the hell would I know? Apparently there was something important enough for you to go sneak away right after he woke up!”

“We’re kicked out of the room anyway!” Eren protested.

“What’s so important that it couldn’t wait?!”

Eren balked. He took a step back. He looked at the ground and held his fists at his sides. “I _will_ tell you,” he promised. “Just… wait for a bit, ok?”

Levi softened, though he was still pretty pissed. He sighed. “What the fuck is going on, Eren?”

“Please,” Eren said, not taking his eyes off the floor. “Just trust me.”

Levi crossed his arms and looked to the side, sighing again. “Alright,” he agreed. “I’ll trust you. Just remember that this is about Erwin.”

“I do.”

They sat in the waiting room after that, and things were still tense. Levi sat with his arms crossed over his chest and still visibly pissed at Eren. Eren just sat next to him – still not touching him – and linked his fingers in his lap, letting his knee bounce with nervousness.

He was actually going to become a spy.

Eren’s inner ten-year-old was jumping with glee, but the rest of him was downright terrified. He couldn’t help but remember being kidnapped, being beaten, being forced to piss his pants. He couldn’t help but think about Erwin in the room down the hall, one limb short because of what Eren had just willingly agreed to do. In all honestly, Eren really did not want to do this.

But he needed to.

He couldn’t just sit back anymore. They hurt Erwin, and that was unacceptable. He had been ok with letting the questions eat at him before this – the questions of why they kidnapped him and why they didn’t want to kill him and who was behind all of this – but he couldn’t do that anymore. They hurt Erwin, and now they needed to be brought down. Eren wanted to kill the Titans and everyone who had ever been involved with them. He wanted to kill them all.

Eren had never honestly wanted to kill anyone before. It was a terrifying feeling, and he knew he couldn’t let it get the best of him. He’d mess up if he just went into a blind rage. He needed to go about this the right way, joining Survey Corp and having them train him on what to do. He didn’t know how to kill someone. Well, he knew of many ways to kill someone, he just didn’t know how to do so without getting killed himself or ending up in jail for the rest of his life. He wanted neither of those.

All he wanted was revenge.

* * *

 

They were let back into Erwin’s room about half an hour later.

Erwin was still lying in bed, probably not allowed out yet, and Eren and Levi went back to their places on either side of him. Levi shot Eren a look as they stepped down, and unfortunately it did not go unnoticed by Erwin.

“What happened?” he asked, looking between the two of them.

Before Eren could explain, Levi started for him. “He won’t tell us,” he said, keeping his eyes on Eren. “But he promises he will later.”

Eren closed his eyes and sighed. “Please,” he begged. “Just forget it for now.” He opened his eyes and looked at Erwin. “Let’s just focus on you. Please.”

“What am I supposed to say?” Erwin asked, souring. “I lost my arm. There’s nothing I can do about it. I’m a cripple.”

Levi and Eren both looked at Erwin with a poor attempt at hidden pity.

“Erwin…” Eren sighed. “That’s not-“

“Not what?” Erwin asked, too tired to snap. “Not the truth? It is. I’m just being realistic. I can’t even _write_ anymore.”

“You’ll learn to write with your other hand,” Eren assured him. “It’ll take time, but you’ll learn.”

Erwin didn’t respond. He just laid back and focused his eyes on a point on the wall as if he was thinking about something. Eren and Levi took the hint and just sat there silently, waiting for the oldest to be ready to talk.

They all got lost in their own toxic thoughts.

 

* * *

 

Eren thought more about what he’d just done. He’d signed himself over to the government. He still didn’t know much about the Survey Corp, or what they did, or the Titans. All he knew was he wanted to kill whoever did this to Erwin. He knew it might not have been a very smart idea, which was one of the reasons he was scared to tell his boyfriends. He could easily get hurt or killed. He had no clue what it took to be a spy. Yeah, he knew how to shoot a gun, and after Erwin had taught him he’d gotten pretty good at it, but he knew whatever he was getting himself into was going to be a hell of a lot more than that. Was he really up for it?

No, but he had to be. He couldn’t let anyone get away with hurting Erwin like this. He couldn’t let them get away with hurting him anymore, either. Between the kidnapping and this, he couldn’t help but snap. He may not know exactly what he was getting himself into, but he knew he’d persevere. He’d get through it all, if only for the chance at killing whoever was doing this.

 

* * *

 

It was all Levi’s fault. That was what was going through his mind.

He was supposed to be the one protecting Erwin on these missions. Erwin may have been in the profession longer, but Levi was better in the field. Erwin was good at strategy and all that kind of stuff, which was why he was in charge of planning a lot of the missions. Levi was the assassin of the two. He should have known how to hold himself in a fight. He shouldn’t have even let himself get in a position where he had his back to any moving machine. He should have had a better handle on the situation and his environment. He should have handled the fight on his own. He should never have let Erwin jump in for him, but he had messed up. He had gotten too eager. He wanted to get the mission over and done with as soon as he could. It was the first time since the kidnapping that they were leaving Eren alone while they were on an extended mission, and he wanted to go make sure he was all right. That anxiety had made him too eager, and that eagerness made him sloppy. He’d let himself get backed into a bad position and Erwin had had to jump in and save him, and Erwin had paid the price for Levi’s sloppiness.

The worst part was that Levi could never admit this guilt aloud. He knew that Erwin would completely reject Levi’s admittance of guilt and say that it wasn’t his fault. He would say that he had chosen to save Levi out of his own derision and Levi didn’t force him to stick his arm in the machine. Erwin would surely blame himself. He would think that _he_ was the sloppy one, who couldn’t hold his own in a fight and that _that’s_ why his arm got chopped up. It was a stupid way of thinking. He wouldn’t have even needed to be in that fight if it weren’t for Levi. He would never have been anywhere near that machine if it weren’t for Levi. It was all his fault, but Levi promised himself he’d never say that, at least not in front of Erwin. He didn’t want to have to argue the point. He wanted to wallow in his guilt like he deserved.

 

* * *

 

As for what Erwin was thinking…

He let out a bitter laugh, snapping Levi and Eren out of their thoughts and their eyes to him.

“I probably deserved it,” he said, and it was obvious by the way his eyes were closed and head tilted back that he wasn’t specifically talking to Levi or Eren.

“No,” Eren said. “What do you mean? How could you-“

“It’s payment,” Erwin explained, eyes still closed. “For all the people I’ve killed, all the subordinates who have died under my command. It’s retribution.” He was practically shaking with emotion now, but he kept his eyes closed and pointed towards the ceiling. “It’s the least I could give for their lives.”

“What the _fuck_ do you think you’re talking about, Smith?” Levi asked, peeved.

Erwin wasn’t particularly expecting that reaction and he opened his eyes to meet Levi’s. Eren just sat aside, confused as to why Erwin would think this way.

Levi stood and put a hand on either side of Erwin’s body, leaning down to force him to look into his eyes. “Were any of those subordinates forced to do what they did? Were any of them coerced into this lifestyle?”

Erwin tried to look away, but Levi’s eyes were pinning him there, forcing him to look back. “No,” he said weakly. “But that doesn’t change-“

“They knew the risks, Erwin,” Levi explained. “If they weren’t prepared to die, they wouldn’t have accepted the job. It’s not your fault they chose to do what they did.”

Beside the two, Eren felt a lump form in his throat and he swallowed thickly, but he was ignored as Levi kept staring Erwin down.

“Don’t you think for a second that you deserved this,” Levi ordered. “Do you know how many lives you’ve saved? How many government secrets you’ve kept safe? How many drug cartels and terrorist groups you’ve stopped? How many people you’ve helped? Do you have any _fucking_ clue?”

Erwin didn’t have an answer for that.

“You are _never_ going to say that you deserved this ever again, alright?” Levi asked.

“Alright,” Erwin said, fully chastised. He still couldn’t help the way he was thinking, but he just wouldn’t say it in front of Eren or Levi again.

Eren looked up at Levi. “It’s not your fault, either,” he said.

“What?” Levi asked, confused as to how Eren knew he’d been thinking that. The brat had never been particularly good at reading people before.

“I know you were thinking it,” Eren continued. “From what you told me about how it happened… I know you, Levi. You’re thinking this is your fault.”

“Well it is,” Levi argued. “If I had been able to hold my own-“

“Levi,” Erwin interrupted. “Don’t. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

“No,” Eren said, and Erwin and Levi looked at him, surprised. “It was the Titans’ fault.”

“I guess you’re right,” Erwin agreed. “It is.”

Eren steeled himself. It was the right time to come clean. He had been planning on waiting a couple of days until things with Erwin calmed down, but… he couldn’t stand keeping things from his boyfriends. Would that make him a terrible spy? Probably. Crap. Anyway, he needed to tell the truth.

“That’s why I’m going to help take them down,” he admitted, pointedly looking at the sheet covering Erwin’s chest.

“What?” Levi asked, unamused.

“I’m going to help you take down the Titans.”

“I _heard_ that, brat,” Levi said. “What do you _mean_ , you’re going to help take down the Titans?”

“I’m joining Survey Corp.”

“ _What._ ” Levi and Erwin didn’t even realize that they spoke in synchronization they were so thrown.

“I’m becoming a spy.”

“No you’re not,” Levi responded.

“Yes, I am,” Eren insisted. “That’s what I was doing, when I left. I called Pixis and told him I accepted his offer.”

“What offer?” Erwin asked, pretty angry himself.

Eren was even more nervous now. He had expected Levi to be pissed, but he hadn’t expected Erwin to be so angry. He’d thought Erwin would be more disappointed than angry, but apparently he was wrong. And now he had to admit that he’d hidden something for them for months. “W-when I was still in the medical ward,” he explained, hating how his voice shook. “You guys were both gone, and Pixis came in and… he offered me a job.”

Levi practically growled, and Eren flinched away.

“I said no,” he said to try to calm him down. “At first. But he gave me his number and told me if I changed my mind…” Eren closed his eyes and spoke with renewed determination. “I can’t let them get away with this. After what they did to me, and now what they did to you-“ He opened his eyes and looked at Erwin, now fully focused on his revenge. “They aren’t going to get away with it.”

“Of course they aren’t,” Levi snapped. “But you’re not risking your life to stop them!”

Eren turned his eyes toward Levi, the two of them now facing off. “I’m not going to sit by and do nothing!” he shouted.

“You aren’t going to go risk your life to get back at them!”

“This isn’t your choice, Levi!”

“You can’t seriously expect us to let you do this!”

“Of course I-“

“Guys,” Erwin sighed. The two quieted down and looked at the man. “Please, don’t fight.” They had to listen, considering Erwin’s circumstances. Erwin looked over at Eren. “Eren, we know it’s your choice, but don’t you think our feelings should merit some consideration?”

Eren faltered. He _did_ sound pretty selfish when Erwin put it that way. “T-they do,” he said. “But… I need to do this. I just… I can’t just do nothing. I can’t let them do this. I can’t let them get away with this. I’m not letting them hurt you again.”

Levi forgot about being calm and almost jumped over the bed to grab ahold of the front of Eren’s shirt. “So you’re going to let them hurt _you_ instead?!”

“If that’s what it takes to make them pay for hurting Erwin, then yes!” Eren yelled in return.

Erwin tried to separate them, but it was hard in his position, so all he could do was watch as Levi growled and gripped tighter at Eren’s shirt.

“I knew you were an idiot but I never thought you were a suicidal one,” Levi scathed.

The room froze. Eren’s shirt managed to slip from Levi’s grasp as the boy took a step back in shock. “Oh,” Eren said. He tried not to let the tears welling up in his eyes become too obvious. He tried to be strong.

“Eren…” Erwin sighed, face crumpling with apology, even though it hadn’t been his words that had shot through the youngest’s heart, but Levi was still frozen with the weight of his own insult.

Blinking to keep the tears from his eyes, Eren looked down at the ground. “I need to… I’m just going to…” he stammered, trying to come up with an excuse to get out of there. When he couldn’t think of one, he just quickly mumbled, “I need to go.”

He turned and headed for the door, and just as his hand touched the knob he heard Levi’s voice call out to him.

“Eren, wait-“

But for once, he didn’t.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably not as many feels as you're expecting.
> 
> For all of you who are reading more than one of my current fics, I've decided to set up a cycle. Basically it keeps me from focusing too much on one fic and neglecting my others. So after this, Gyroscope will update, and then ICSMWO, then this one again, and so on.
> 
> As always, feel free to follow me/ask me things/give me prompts at my tumblr, [downtheupstairs](http://downtheupstairs.tumblr.com/).

Eren found himself in the stairwell again. He hadn’t known where else to go. If he went to the elevator he’d have to wait, and he didn’t want to risk Levi running after him. He didn’t want to talk to him right now. He knew he should stay because of Erwin but… He just couldn’t stay there. Not with what Levi just said.

He sat in the stairwell and tried to breathe. He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe Levi. He knew Erwin and Levi wouldn’t react well, but he hadn’t known that Levi would dig that low. He knew just how turn hurt Eren, and he did it perfectly.

Eren dug out his phone from his pocket. He couldn’t stay at the hospital anymore. He wanted to stay at the hospital with Erwin, but… well, he’d come back later. Probably. He didn’t know. He just wanted to get out of here.

He opened the group message he, Armin, and Mikasa kept going. He didn’t know if either of them were home, but one of them probably would be able to come pick him up soon.

However, he hesitated before he sent the message. He stared at it. All the message contained was him asking if either of them could get him, but he knew how worrying that sounded. Levi had brought the car back from the apartment when he went to pick up some clothes and toothbrushes, but he still had the keys, and Eren wasn’t about to go back and ask for them.

After some consideration, Eren deleted the message. He didn’t want to have to explain. He didn’t want to cry about it. Levi had hurt his feelings, sure, but he wasn’t about to sob about it. Ok, sure, he’d had a bit of a panic attack but… that was just because he was in shock. He was over it now. He could deal. He wasn’t going to let a couple little words hurt him. No. He knew what he was going to do.

He was going to get drunk.

He texted Sasha and Connie. They were always up to get drunk. He simply asked if they wanted to hang out and if so could they pick him up a few streets away from the hospital. He didn’t want to tell them to pick him up at the hospital because then they’d worry and ask questions, and that wasn’t what he needed.

Once Sasha assured him that they’d be there soon, Eren left the hospital and walked to where he’d asked them to pick him up. He felt kind of bad. He hadn’t spent much time with them or any of his other college friends in a while because of everything that had gone on with the Titans and Levi and Erwin. He missed them. So, even if it was because of a bad situation, Eren was glad he’d be hanging out with them again.

Connie and Sasha rolled up half and hour later in their beaten-up minivan, nearly crashing into a parked SUV as they did so. They’d never been the safest drivers, but Eren didn’t mind a little danger now. According to Levi he was suicidal, anyway.

He shouldn’t be thinking about that now, though. Now, they were on their way to pick up Christa, Jean, and Marco. Ymir was at work, otherwise she would join them. Eren counted his lucky stars that it was a Sunday so most of his friends were free.

After they shoved everyone into the minivan, they headed to a bar they used to frequent when they were in college. It was just off campus and was pretty cheap, if a little shady. But it was a fun place.

Since it was the afternoon, there weren’t many people in the bar, so it was easy for the group to find a big table to sit around. They all got their respective drinks – once again Christa stuck to just one beer so that she could be the designated driver when they decided to leave – and settled down.

“So, Eren,” Sasha began after taking a few sips of her Long Island Iced Tea. “Haven’t seen you around in a while. Anything exciting going on?”

Eren gulped down half of his whiskey sour. “Um, nothing much. Just… yeah, nothing much.”

“Oh, well _that’s_ convincing,” Jean said from where he sat across the table with his arm around Marco’s shoulder. He rolled his eyes. “Come on, you too good for us now?”

“You wish,” Eren spat, and he sat back in his chair. “No, it’s just… stuff.” He shrugged. “I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

“Problems with your boyfriends?” Marco asked. “What are their names again?”

“Erwin and… Levi, right?” Christa guessed.

Eren just nodded to let Christa know she was right, but just brooded otherwise.

Jean smirked. “Ooh, trouble in paradise?”

“I really don’t want to talk about it,” Eren repeated.

“Aw come on,” Sasha pressed, bumping her shoulder into Eren’s. “We can’t help if you don’t tell us what’s going on.”

“Guys,” Jean said. “It’s not like he ever tells us anything about them anyway.”

“Yeah, Eren,” Connie chimed in. “What’s the big secret?” Then he suddenly gasped. “Wait, guys, are we sure they actually exist?”

“They drop him off or pick him up sometimes,” Marco reminded him, before turning to the whole group. “If Eren doesn’t want to talk about them then he doesn’t have to.”

“Thanks, Marco,” Eren said, finishing off his drink. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you guys about them or anything, just… They’re pretty secretive people. They don’t like a lot of people knowing things about them.”

“Well, as long as they make you happy,” Marco assured him.

Eren hesitated before saying, “Yeah.” He realized his glass was empty. “I’m gonna get another drink.” He stood and went to the bar, leaving his friends to talk amongst themselves. He could tell they were talking about him, so he wasn’t very surprised when he sat back down with his beer and Christa piped up.

“They _do_ make you happy, right, Eren?” she asked.

Eren sighed and sipped his beer. “Yeah,” he said. “It’s just. We had a fight. Well, Levi and I had a fight.”

“About what?” Sasha pressed.

“It’s… I can’t really explain,” Eren hedged. “Just… Levi said some shit and I don’t want to think about it anymore.”

“What did he say?” Connie asked, everyone deciding to press further no matter what Eren said about not wanting to talk about it.

“He…” Eren began, and then he finished quickly. “Hecalledmeanidiot.”

“An idiot?” Sasha repeated, disbelieving.

“Well, you are,” Jean shrugged.

“ _Jean_ ,” Marco chastised, and then he turned back to Eren. “You’re not an idiot, Eren. He shouldn’t have said that.”

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it,” Christa assured Eren.

“You don’t know Levi,” Eren mumbled.

“You three have been together forever,” Connie reminded him.

“Only since junior year,” Eren corrected.

“Still, that’s a long time,” Sasha said. “You shouldn’t let one word tear you apart like that.”

“Yeah,” Jean added. “If anyone can put up with you that long you’d better keep ‘em.”

“Fuck you too, Jean,” Eren casually told him, and then he sighed. “I just don’t know if they want me back.”

“I’m sure they do,” Christa said. “I think you just need to go talk to them.”

“I will,” Eren promised. “Eventually. Right now I just want to forget about it and get drunk.”

“I’m down with that!” Connie exclaimed, eliciting a cheer from the entire group as they all lifted their glasses and took a good long sip, ready to get blackout drunk at 3 p.m. on a Sunday afternoon.

 

* * *

 

“What did you just do?” Erwin asked as the door closed behind Eren.

Levi hit his fist on the door. He’d followed Eren that far but he knew he shouldn’t try to run after him any further than that. The door had slammed and Eren obviously didn’t want to be followed. After banging on the door Levi rested his forehead on it, feeling like shit after what he just did. “You don’t have to fucking ask that,” he snapped at Erwin. “I know I fucked up.”

“You don’t need to snap at me, too,” Erwin said.

Levi sighed. “I know,” he said more calmly. He moved from the door and started pacing the room. “I fucked up,” he repeated, more chastising himself this time.

“He’ll forgive you,” Erwin assured him. “Just give him some time, and apologize like hell when he comes back.”

“Yeah,” Levi agreed, leaning against a wall and crossing his arms.

“And not like you usually do,” Erwin continued. “You have to actually say that you’re sorry.”

“I _know_ ,” Levi said. He didn’t like being told what to do, even if he was aware how crappy he tended to be when it came to apologies.

He decided to change the subject. “First, though,” he said as he pushed himself off the wall. “I’m calling fucking Pixis.” He pulled out his phone and dialed the man. He picked up after several rings.

“Hello, Levi,” Pixis said, obviously expecting the call. He sounded a little too happy for Levi’s taste.

“ _Pixis_ ,” he scathed. “Eren is _not_ joining.”

“I don’t believe that’s your choice, Levi,” Pixis said.

“I don’t care. He’s not joining.”

“He already made the commitment.”

“Pixis, I will cut off each of your limbs with a rusty saw one inch at a time if you don’t let him quit,” Levi threatened.

Used to threats like these, particularly from Levi, Pixis was unruffled. “Well, I might consider it if Eren was the one to actually request it, but since that isn’t the case… I’m sorry, but Eren is joining the company.”

“You’re planning something,” Levi said, knowing that Pixis wouldn’t be so adament about Eren coming on if he didn’t.

“Perhaps,” Pixis oh-so-helpfully responded.

“I’m shoving a pinecone up your ass next time I see you,” Levi promised, but Pixis just laughed.

“I look forward to it,” he said. “Goodbye, Levi.” And then he hung up.

“ _Fuck!”_ Levi said after Pixis hung up. He threw his phone across the room.

Erwin sighed, not caring that Levi just destroyed his phone. “You didn’t honestly expect him to agree, did you?” he asked.

“No,” Levi admitted, crossing the room to go sit by Erwin’s bed again. “I’m still fucking him up the ass with a pinecone.”

“Ok.” Erwin knew Levi was just talking shit, but honestly he wouldn’t mind if he made good on his promise. Though he wasn’t quite as mad as Levi was, he was still pretty pissed Pixis offered that job to Eren, especially because he didn’t talk to them about it first, and he was obviously keeping something from them. The morphine in his system might be helping keep him from being so pissed, though.

Levi calmed down and put his head on Erwin’s lap. Erwin moved to stroke his hair and then realized he didn’t have the arm there to try that. He swallowed down the grief and pain he felt at that and used his other hand instead.

“What are we gonna do?” Levi asked Erwin.

Erwin wasn’t sure what in particular Levi was talking about – his arm, what he said to Eren, Eren joining Survey Corp – but whatever it was had the same answer:

“I don’t know.”

 

* * *

 

“And then Sasha tried to stuff three whole loaves of bread under her shirt and convince the workers that she was pregnant!”

Everyone laughed as they remembered the story. They were pretty drunk by now, and whenever that happened they all started reminiscing about their college days. It may have only been three years ago, but they talked as if it was decades.

“Hey! That wasn’t cool!” Sasha protested, slamming down her beer stein. “I got banned from the dining hall for an entire semester!”

“But it did make me the king of sneaking food out of the dining hall without ever getting caught!” Connie said proudly.

“You bought that turkey at a grocery store!” Jean protested.

“Maybe,” Connie conceded. “But the rest of that Thanksgiving dinner came courtesy of Trost University Housing and Dining Services!”

A cheer went up around the table and they all clinked glasses.

“No but remember that time?” Marco asked between giggles. He was a giggly drunk. “That the cops came to that party at Eren’s and Mikasa answered the door-“

“And when they told her there’d been noise complaints,” Connie finished. “She pointed to Sasha and said it was her farts!”

Everyone around the table erupted in laughs.

“They almost arrested Mikasa!” Eren laughed.

“Hey!” Sasha protested. “Why are we only doing stories about me?” Her protests were made weaker by the fact that she was laughing as she said them. “What about that time freshman year when Jean streaked at that hockey game?”

Everyone burst out laughing again.

Christa, who had been sitting there enjoying the drunk people’s antics, leaned over and looked at Jean. “Wait wait wait. An _ice_ hockey game?!” She hadn’t really hung out with them all until the end of freshman year, so she wasn’t there for all the stories.

“I still can’t believe you actually did that, man!” Eren said as Jean turned beet red.

“I still say you cheated on that bet, Jaeger!” Jean snapped back.

Sasha butted in. “I still bet your balls haven’t come back down yet!”

“Oh, they’ve come back down,” Marco assured them, eliciting a group sound of disgust from everyone but him and Jean, who just smirked and pecked Marco on the cheek.

“Ugh!” Eren said, slamming his stein down. “Nobody wants to hear about Jean’s peanuts!”

“Jealous that I actually have them, Jaeger?!”

The two stood up and everyone could tell they were going to fight if they didn’t calm things down, so Sasha quickly tried to think of another story.

“Remember that party in sophomore year-“ she said desperately, trying to tug Eren back down as Marco did the same to Jean. “-When that guy hit on Christa at and Ymir saw and she broke three of his ribs?”

“Yeah!” Connie exclaimed. “Man-boobs!”

“Man-boobs!” Sasha, Jean, and Marco echoed. Christa just looked upset at the memory. She never did like it when Ymir beat up guys who flirted with her.

“Wait,” Eren said. “Man-boobs?”

“Yeah, man!” Connie said. “Don’t you remember? You were there.”

“Blond guy,” Jean helped. “Totally ripped, huge man-boobs.”

Eren had never sobered up as quickly as he did in the next five seconds as all the blood drained out of his face. Everyone was starting to look concerned about him, but Eren wasn’t paying any attention to that now.

All he was thinking was about how he remembered exactly who that person was.

It was Reiner.

In his life a whole year before he met Erwin and Levi.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long and is so short! Between my internship (which is going great but is a lot of work) and this chapter being difficult, it took forever. 
> 
> I would like to thank alliechick on tumblr for drawing some FABULOUS [fan art](http://alliechick.tumblr.com/post/89854101674/i-couldnt-sleep-last-night-so-i-drew-some/) of this story so I want each and every one of you to go and look at it and gaze upon its beauty because it is just fantastic.
> 
> As always, you can follow me on tumblr at [downtheupstairs](http://downtheupstairs.tumblr.com/). **ALSO** I am proud to say that i am the new mod of [threelosersinlove](http://threelosersinlove.tumblr.com/) which ALL OF YOU NEED TO GO FOLLOW BECAUSE IT IS PURE ERURIREN AND IF YOU'RE READING THIS STORY I'M GUESSING YOU LIKE THAT.
> 
> This story will update again sometime, but I can't promise it'll be soon because of my other fics and my internship and i'm going on vacation in a couple of weeks where i won't have internet. But don't think that I'm abandoning this because I promise I'm not! It'll just take a little longer between updates.

“Eren?”

“Are you ok?”

“Eren?”

He couldn’t hear them. He couldn’t pay attention. All Eren could think of was how the fuck it was possible that Reiner had been following him even before he’d known Erwin and Levi. It wasn’t about them. It was about him. Erwin and Levi weren’t the ones they’d really wanted.

It was him.

He was going to throw up.

Ignoring all of his friends’ worries, Eren pushed out his chair and sprinted back to the bathroom. He barely made it to a toilet before he blew his chunks. He didn’t stop heaving until well after his stomach was completely empty, and when he finally stopped and caught his breath, he heard someone come in the bathroom and call his name.

Marco found the stall Eren had run into and crouched down next to him.

“Eren?” he asked. “Are you ok?”

He didn’t know when he started crying, but Eren became well aware of it when Marco grabbed a wad of toilet paper and helped wipe his face.

“What happened?” Marco continued when Eren didn’t answer.

“I-“ Eren began, and then he remembered just why he’d been in here vomiting and he had to turn to dry heave some more. He finally finished coughing and grabbed some more toilet paper from Marco to wipe his mouth.

“Did you just drink too much, or…?” Marco suggested, but he really didn’t think that was the issue. He’d seen Eren drink much more and not get sick before.

Eren tried to breathe but was finding it frustratingly difficult. “I-“ he managed again, and he forced himself to gasp in a breath and finish his sentence. “I need to get to the hospital.”

“The hospital?!” Marco exclaimed before composing himself. “Ok, come on. We’ll get you to the ER.”

“No!” Eren shouted. “Not- not the ER. Erwin and Levi-“

Someone else burst into the bathroom. “Eren?” Connie asked. “Man, you ok?” He found Marco and Eren where they were kneeling in the stall. “ _Ooh_ ,” he said when he saw the situation. “You are _not_ ok.”

“Erwin’s in the hospital,” Eren finally managed to get out, oblivious to Connie’s words. “I need-“

“Ok,” Marco said, misinterpreting the situation and assuming that Eren’s freak-out was from hearing that his boyfriend was in the hospital. “Come on, let’s go ask Christa to drive you.”

Eren managed a nod as Marco helped him stand and he and Connie helped Eren out of the bathroom. They led him over to the table where everyone else was waiting anxiously to hear how he was doing. Eren didn’t really care about the embarrassment or anything – he was still just focused on Reiner and how hard it was to breathe.

Somehow he ended up at the hospital. He wasn’t exactly sure how, except he was pretty sure Christa drove. Eren spent most of the drive with his head between his knees, trying to breathe and not try to vomit again.

He didn’t even wait until the car was completely stopped before he jumped out. He thankfully still had on his visitor’s bracelet – hidden under the sleeve of his hoodie – so he didn’t have to sign in or anything, though he did get a bunch of strange looks as he ran up the stairs (elevator would be too slow) to Erwin’s floor.

He was sprinting and he felt like he was about to pass out by the time he made it to the floor, but he had to keep going. He had to be with Erwin and Levi. They would know what to do. Eren had no clue. Wasn’t he going to be a spy? He should know how to deal with things like this. He should be stronger than this. He shouldn’t be throwing up and running to his boyfriends just because somehow he was personally targeted by one of the biggest drug cartels in the country-

Ok. Maybe a tiny freak-out was warranted. But _this?_

Eren didn’t have time to think about that, though. Oxygen wasn’t exactly reaching his head all that great between the sprinting and the difficulty breathing.

Petra was the guard assigned to be outside of Erwin’s room, and as soon as she saw Eren she got her gun readied in case there was somebody following him and called out to ask him what was wrong. He didn’t answer, though, barely registered her presence as he slammed into the door and fumbled with the handle, his trembling hands not able to grip it for some stupid reason.

Levi had his gun readied as well by the time Eren managed to open the door, worried by the banging and fumbling outside. As soon as he saw that it was Eren, however, he re-holstered it and rushed over to pull the shaking boy into his arms.

“Eren?” he asked, the urgency in his tone covering all signs of gentleness. “What happened?”

Eren wheezed in a few breaths and gripped tight to Levi, only vaguely noticing Erwin sitting up straight on the bed, frustrated by his inability to do anything.

“Reiner-“ Eren finally choked out.

“ _What.”_ Both Erwin and Levi prepared for the guy to burst into the room. Levi turned so that Eren was behind him and trained his gun at the door. Erwin wasn’t really sure what he’d do, but he was ready to jump out of bed regardless of the IV line still in his remaining arm and at least try to protect his boyfriend.

Clutching to Levi’s back, Eren managed to explain, though his thoughts got muddled when he tried to turn them to words. “No-“ he said. “Not- Not now. Before. College. He-“ He gripped tighter into Levi’s shoulders and the man once again put away his gun and turned to hold Eren properly.

Needing Eren to calm down before they could get a proper explanation out of him, Levi led Eren over to the bed and sat him down on the edge of it, where Erwin could reach out and stroke Eren’s hair as Levi took Eren’s hands in his own to try to keep him calm.

“Eren,” Erwin said calmly. “Just try to breathe. It’s all right. Nobody’s going to hurt you. We’re right here.” He basically said every comforting phrase in the book, but it still took a good fifteen minutes of that until Eren’s hands stopped trembling in Levi’s and his breathing evened out. “There you go,” Erwin concluded once he saw that Eren was doing better. “Now, what exactly happened, Eren?”

In order to keep from trembling, Eren gripped Levi’s hands even tighter. “I remember,” he said. “In college. Reiner. He was there.”

“What do you mean?” Erwin prompted.

“He was _there_ ,” Eren insisted. “Reiner. He was there and going to the same parties as me and in my classes and-“ He choked off, desperately trying not to panic again.

“They probably had him start tailing you as soon as you started seeing us,” Levi offered, sure that there was some explanation to this.

“No,” Eren insisted, shaking his head insistently in protest. He had to swallow a couple of times before he could continue. “Before. Before I even met you. A whole year before. He was _there_.”

“That’s impossible,” Levi shot back. Why would the Titans even care about Eren before he had met him and Erwin? It didn’t make any sense. Even if Eren had met them just once, it would make at least _some_ sense. But a whole year before that… There had to be a reason.

“I know,” Eren said, leaning until his forehead was pressed up against Levi’s chest. Now that he was done panicking he was just exhausted. Levi moved his hands to wrap them around Eren’s shoulders to hold him close. “It’s true, though,” Eren continued, slightly muffled by Levi’s shirt. “My friends mentioned him. He was at a party sophomore year.”

“You’re sure it was him?” Erwin asked.

“He’s pretty distinctive,” Eren groaned.

Erwin sighed, trying to think. He didn’t want to think that it was actually him, but Eren didn’t seem to think that there was another option. The three of them stayed there like that for a few minutes, trying to come up with some sort of explanation. There had to be a reason.

“Maybe,” Erwin finally suggested. “They recruited him because you did know him before.”

Levi and Eren both turned to look at Erwin in confusion.

“If they knew you knew him, or had seen him around before,” Erwin explained. “Then maybe they recruited him so that you wouldn’t be as suspicious. If you’d remembered him it would’ve made you think he really was just a guy who went to the same college as you and not anybody to be wary of since you met him before.”

“You think they’re really that smart?” Levi asked.

“I can’t think of any other explanation,” Erwin admitted. “It’s the only thing that makes sense.

“Yeah…” Eren said, turning his head back into Levi’s chest. “I guess you’re right. I just overreacted.”

“No you didn’t,” Levi assured him.

“They really went out of their way,” Erwin added. “We were just as confused as you were.”

Eren wrapped his arms around Levi’s waist to use his chest as a pillow. “I just… I thought they were after me for some reason.”

“That wouldn’t make any sense,” Erwin reassured, reaching out his arm and stroking comfortingly down Eren’s back.

“Yeah…” Eren mumbled. He leaned further into Levi’s chest and groaned. “I feel so gross…”

“Why?” Erwin asked before Levi could, knowing that the man would inevitably sound disgusted about it.

“I hurled a few times before I got here…”

Erwin shot Levi a look that told him not to even _dare_ letting go of Eren right now no matter how horrified and disgusted he was, because Eren needed someone to hold him and Erwin couldn’t right then.

They’d been together long enough that Levi knew exactly what Erwin meant by that look, and so he grudgingly kept holding Eren just as close, glad that the kid couldn’t see his face.

Eventually Eren pulled back and stood without looking at either of his boyfriends. He shuffled into the bathroom, mumbling about needing to brush his teeth. He shut himself in the small bathroom attached to Erwin’s room, where their toothbrushes and toothpaste were already on the small shelf because they’d stayed there the past few days and had needed them. Eren brushed his teeth, taking extra care to be very thorough in his cleaning, both to get the acidic taste and feel out of his mouth but also to buy him some time.

He didn’t want to go back out to his boyfriends. He’d overreacted so harshly to remembering Reiner, it was embarrassing. And especially because of their argument before, he was worried they’d just use this as even more reason for him not to join Survey Corp.

But Eren saw this as even more reason to join, when he thought about it. As much as Erwin’s idea made sense, it didn’t seem very likely. Why would they go through so much effort to recruit someone Eren knew? What’s the chance that the Titans could find someone Eren had known who was willing to befriend and then kidnap him? Eren had never had any enemies – so why would someone who barely knew him agree to do that? Sure, some people would do anything for money, but… It still didn’t seem likely.

He needed answers.

And joining Survey Corp was the only way to get them.

 

* * *

 

After about fifteen minutes in the bathroom, Eren finally got up the courage to leave. He was even more determined than before to join Survey Corp, and he was over his reaction to remembering Reiner, so he was ready to go back and face his boyfriends.

He left the room with his head held high, going to sit next Erwin’s bed. The reason why he’d left in the first place was coming back to him, and with that his anger returned.

Needless to say, the atmosphere in the room was… a little tense. Neither Erwin nor Levi knew quite what to say, and Eren wasn’t really in the mood to talk.

They were all almost thankful when Eren’s phone started to ring.

After looking at the caller ID, Eren saw that it was Mikasa, and he knew immediately that one of his friends had told her what happened at the bar. He couldn’t blame them – they all knew how the two were like family and that Mikasa (Armin, too) would be worried and want to know. If Eren and Mikasa were in opposite positions, Eren would want to know, too.

That didn’t mean he was especially looking forward to talking to her about it.

“Hey, ‘Kasa,” he said sheepishly as he answered the phone.

“Eren!” Mikasa exclaimed. “What happened? Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” Eren assured her. “I’m fine. I’m with Erwin and Levi again.”

“What happened?” she repeated.

“Um,” Eren said, not exactly sure how to go about explaining the whole situation. “Well, basically I was at the bar with Sasha and Connie and everyone and we were talking about college and I… I sort of remembered seeing Reiner there.”

“The guy who kidnapped you?” Mikasa asked, voice darkening immensely. “He was at the bar?”

“What?” Eren asked, confused. This was hard to explain. “No. In college. He…” Eren glanced up at his boyfriends, knowing that they were staring at him, testing his reaction to this. He had to stay strong. “He was there. At a party. A year before I met Erwin and Levi.”

“ _What_.”

“Yeah…” Eren didn’t know what else to say to that.

“I don’t understand.”

“Well, that makes two of us,” Eren responded, chuckling.

“This isn’t funny.”

“I _know_ it isn’t, ‘Kasa. Fuck I threw up when I first remembered.”

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” Eren said, even though his voice wasn’t quite as steady as he wanted. “I’m fine now.”

Mikasa mulled the words over, obviously not really believing them. “Why were you at the bar anyway? I would’ve thought you’d be glued to Erwin’s side,” she finally asked, and Eren winced. He really didn’t want to have this discussion. But he also knew Mikasa wouldn’t let him out of this without an explanation.

“Levi and I had a fight,” he said, glancing up a second at said man before looking away.

“About what?” Mikasa knew that it’d take a lot for Eren to walk out on Erwin in this state.

Suddenly, the phone was taken from Eren’s hand.

“Your brother,” Levi practically sneered into the phone, looking straight at Eren. “Has decided to join Survey Corp.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi, Eren is already angry enough at you do you really need to do this


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long! Life got crazy and then I decided to start yet another fic, [Come As You Are](http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/4603563/), which is also Eruriren if you want to check that out. 
> 
> I want to thank most of you for being patient and not pressuring me to update. Between life, my other fics, and fucking fibromyalgia, there are times where I'll be able to post a lot really quickly and then not for a while. Pressuring me just makes me sad, because I already know you're expecting an update and I feel bad for not being able to get it to you.
> 
> Anyway, reminder that you can find me on tumblr at [downtheupstairs](http://downtheupstairs.tumblr.com/) and that you should definitely take a look at the blog I mod, [threelosersinlove](http://threelosersinlove.tumblr.com/), which is an Eruriren blog.
> 
> Also, sorry about the end of this. Blame my Levi muse. It's all his fault.

Eren sat there, frozen in shock, for about ten seconds before he started for the door again. As soon as he did, Erwin and Levi broke from their places as well.

Levi shot after Eren and grabbed his arm. "Wait, Er-"

" _What?_ " Eren scathed, turning towards Levi and shaking his arm out of the man's grasp. "What are you going to say? You're _sorry_?"

"I shouldn't have-"

"No, you shouldn't. I'm not a kid; you can't just tattle to Mikasa and expect me to change my mind. She doesn't control me anymore than you do."

"I know that; I-"

"Do you?" Eren asked, growing slightly crazed in his anger. "Is that why you called me a suicidal _idiot_? Even though you knew what would happen if you did?!"

"I didn't mean it like tha-"

"Yes you did." Eren's voice was strangely calm now, and that calm was even more terrifying than the crazed tone of his previous statements. "You knew there was only one way I could take it. But you said it anyway."

Levi was getting pissed about being interrupted so much, and the anger started to show in his voice. "Eren, just let me-"

"Tell me." Eren was staring at the ground, fists by his side, but he forced himself to look Levi in the eyes as he continued. "Are you really that desperate to keep me from joining that you'd risk losing me altogether?"

"Eren..." Erwin's voice sighed softly from the bed, filling the silence as Levi gaped.

But then Levi's expression hardened. "Yes," he said sternly, and Erwin snapped his eyes to Levi in surprise.

"Levi!" Erwin warned, but Eren just waited for an explanation, face growing harder and angrier.

"I-if it's between letting you get killed or never being able to hold you again, I... I'd let you- break up with me." The words sounded painful for him to say, but he was still confident as he said them. Eren didn't pay any attention to how broken the words sounded.

Instead, he tightened the fists at his sides and felt all of his muscles tense as he glared down at the man in front of him. "Well congratulations," he said. "You might just get both."

He turned to leave, but Erwin’s voice stopped him.

“Eren!”

He wanted to leave, but he couldn’t leave Erwin again. He’d already done that once today, and he felt bad enough about that. Erwin needed him. He needed both of them, if Eren was perfectly honest, but there was no way Eren and Levi could be in the same room right now. Erwin seemed to realize that, too.

“Levi, why don’t you go out to the waiting room?” Erwin asked, though his tone didn’t give Levi any option.

The man seemed to want to protest as he looked between Eren and Erwin, but the realization that he’d majorly fucked up shamed him enough to silently leave, wondering how the hell he was going to fix this.

Levi closed the door gently behind him as he left.

There was a long silence then, as Eren stared at the white linoleum tile at his feet and Erwin stared at Eren. Something needed to happen; someone had to say something, but they didn’t seem to know how.

“Eren,” Erwin finally said, soft enough that it was barely more than a breath, but it served its purpose of making Eren turn around. Erwin tried to hold out his hand, to tell Eren to come to him, but realized too late that the arm he tried to use was no longer there. He found himself looking down at where his arm wasn’t, shocked again at the empty space he saw there.

“Shit,” Eren mumbled, watching Erwin’s stunned expression as he walked over to Erwin’s side – his left side, because he was too hesitant to touch Erwin’s wounded side at all. He pulled up a chair as close as he could to Erwin’s bed and gently slipped his hand into Erwin’s remaining one. He brought it to his lips and kissed the hand once before resting his forehead against it. “Levi and I have been acting like asses and you… We should be focusing on you.”

Erwin turned his head to smile gently at Eren and moved his hand to cup the boy’s cheek. “It’s ok,” he assured Eren. “I’d rather be distracted… Though this isn’t really my favorite way of doing it.” He managed to quirk the corner of his lip up in a small smile.

“I’m sorry,” Eren said, holding Erwin’s hand to his cheek.

“It’s not your fault,” Erwin assured him, and Eren felt bad for making Erwin assure him of anything right now. He should be the one assuring Erwin that things would be ok, not the other way around. “Though I can’t say I’m happy with your decision to enlist either, Levi… went too far.”

“Yeah…” Eren sighed.

“You know he didn’t really mean it, right?”

“I know, but…”

“But that doesn’t excuse it.”

Eren shook his head. “It’s just… He _knows_ what that…” He trailed off, not even wanting to go into it.

Erwin leaned forward and kissed Eren’s head. “You’re not an idiot, Eren,” he promised. “You know we don’t think of you that way.”

“Levi does,” Eren mumbled, burying his face in Erwin’s hospital gown. “That’s what he said. ‘I always knew you were an idiot.’”

“Levi says horrible things when he’s angry. He doesn’t mean any of it. He’s just trying to protect you, and he goes about it the wrong way. It doesn’t make it ok, but he doesn’t mean that.”

Eren didn’t say anything, just pressed his face closer to Erwin’s side.

“How could we think you’re an idiot?” Erwin asked. “Out of the three of us, you’re the only one who went to college.”

“I was a History major because I didn’t know what I wanted to do and the only job I could get after I graduated was a minimum-wage one that I got _fired_ from,” Eren reminded him.

“You only got fired because you were injured and couldn’t work, you managed to pay your own way through school, and you graduated _magna cum laude_.”

Eren wasn’t able to respond to that. He’d been told so many times when he was younger that he was an idiot that it was hard to believe it when someone told him otherwise. But everything Erwin was saying was a fact. He couldn’t argue with that.

They laid there in silence for a while. Erwin attempted to stroke his fingers through Eren’s hair, but with the IV line in his elbow and the fact that it wasn’t his dominant hand – though it would have to become that now – his movements were stilted and jerky. Eren didn’t mind. It still felt nice.

After a while Erwin decided to speak up. “As much as I wish you wouldn’t join,” he began. “I think I understand your decision, and can respect it. Levi, he… didn’t exactly have a choice when it came to enlisting. This isn’t something he’d ever choose to do with his life. For me, it was definitely a choice. Perhaps… perhaps it might not have been the best one” – he felt a jolt of phantom pain down the space where his right arm used to be – “but it was my decision.

“Obviously, you and I are choosing for very different reasons, but we both chose. And I would say your reasons for joining are much more valid than mine were. If I’d known what I was getting into, I can’t say I would have made the same choice. But yours is an informed one. You know the risks, and yet you still decided to enlist. And because you already know those risks, there’s not really much I can say to convince you to change your mind now, is there?”

“There isn’t,” Eren confirmed.

“So, the only thing I can do is support you, and try to help you so you’ll be safe.” Erwin looked at the stump of his arm. “Not that there’s much I can do to help, anyway.”

Eren sat up and looked at Erwin with what he hoped wasn’t a pitying expression, though he wasn’t sure he was hiding it well. “We’ll figure something out,” he promised. “I’m sure there’s plenty you can do.”

“Not on the field,” Erwin said, unable to even meet Eren’s eyes. He knew he would find pity there, no matter how well Eren tried to hide it.

“Well, there’s got to be stuff off the field, right?” Eren asked optimistically.

“Maybe…” Erwin said, not too positive about it himself. He didn’t want to talk about that right now, though, so he changed the subject. “What I was saying though, was that I support you.”

Eren laid back down at Erwin’s side, accepting the topic change for what it was. “Thanks,” he said. “If only Levi thought that way.”

“He’ll come around,” Erwin assured him. “He always does.”

 

* * *

 

Levi felt like crap. That was an understatement. He sat in the waiting room with his head in his hands, cursing at himself. He just couldn’t stop being an idiot, could he?

He’d always had this problem. He was crap at being in relationships. He spoke before he thought, did things before he thought, just went with instinct first and analyzed it later.

It was what made him a great assassin and a terrible boyfriend.

He meant well. It just seemed like there were things in his head that he couldn’t express properly, and when he tried he messed everything up spectacularly. He hadn’t had a big issue with this in a while; had been doing pretty well, but then Erwin lost his arm and Eren joined Survey Corp and everything went to shit.

Levi didn’t know how he was going to fix this. He knew how Eren felt about being called an idiot. Part of why he’d said it was because he knew how much it would hurt. He’d hoped, in some terrible piece of his mind, that the hurt would cause Eren to change his mind.

“Hey. You.”

Levi slowly looked up to see a displeased Mikasa and a worried Armin standing in front of him. The fact that he didn’t notice them the second they entered the room was a testament to just how out of it he was.

“What are you doing out here?” Mikasa continued, noticing how unlike himself the man was, even more so than when they’d visited Erwin while the man was still asleep.

“I fucked up,” Levi answered honestly.

“What now?”

Levi couldn’t help but scowl at the accusation that he was always doing that, but then he thought about it and realized it was true. “I pissed Eren off,” he responded, looking back down at the floor.

He didn’t need to be looking at them to tell Mikasa’s restrained stony anger and Armin’s much quieter pissed-off curiosity.

“What did you do?” Armin demanded, managing to sound both completely calm and deadly serious at the same time. It almost reminded Levi of Erwin.

“Why don’t you do talk to him yourselves,” Levi suggested, too tired to deal with any of this.

“We will,” Mikasa assured him. “And we’re not letting him join-” She seemed to realize at the last second that she shouldn’t say the organization’s name out loud in a public place.

Levi scoffed. “Good luck with that,” he drawled.

Neither Armin nor Mikasa answered before they walked away.

 

* * *

 

Eren didn’t want to move when he heard the knock on the door. He knew exactly who it was, and he wasn’t looking forward to another lecture.

“It’s ok,” Erwin assured him. “We can talk to them.”

Knowing that Erwin was on his side and willing to fight for him was the only thing that got Eren to stand up and go to the door to let Armin and Mikasa inside.

“You’re _not_ joining,” Mikasa said as she stepped inside, Armin following more calmly behind her.

Eren groaned. “It’s not your choice, ‘Kasa.”

“You _can’t_ join,” Mikasa tried next.

“I can and I am,” Eren defended, closing the door and crossing his arms as he looked at his sister.

“You aren’t strong enough. You don’t know how to defend yourself.” Of _course_ she would say that, being a Judo champion. As if just _knowing_ that she was so good at it while he barely had the patience for two classes wasn’t bad enough.

“I’ll _learn_ ,” Eren argued, just getting angrier. “They’ll _train_ me.”

“You’re going to get yourself killed.”

“Well at least I’ll die actually _doing_ something with my life.”

“If you want to do something with your life, backpack through Europe! Write a novel! Don’t _die_ for nothing!”

“Nothing?!” Eren didn’t even realize he was yelling by now, was barely conscious of Armin and Erwin over on the sidelines watching and trying to figure out how to calm Eren and Mikasa down. “Is getting the people who took Erwin’s arm _nothing_?! Is finding the people who kidnapped me _nothing?!”_

“Do you really want to go through that again?” Mikasa argued. “Do you want them to do that to you again?”

“I’m not going to let them!”

“How do you know you’ll be able to stop them?”

“I don’t!” Eren yelled, nearly in tears now for how incensed he was. “But I have to! I _have_ to do this Mikasa! I know what I’m getting myself into! You don’t have to approve of it, but I’m doing this. So get used to it.”

Eren and Mikasa stared each other down for a few minutes until Armin cleared his throat.

“Mikasa,” he said carefully. “He has a point. If all this happened to you… Wouldn’t you want to do something about it?”

Mikasa looked at Armin for a few minutes as she tried to figure out a good argument against that, but eventually sighed. “You’re right.” She looked back at Eren and frowned. “I’m still not happy about this.”

“You don’t have to be,” Eren responded simply.

The door handle turned then and the door was pushed open slowly until Levi’s head just poked in.

“I’m, uh,” he said, more awkward than Eren had ever seen him before. “I’m going to get food for everyone, so.” He didn’t seem to know what to say after that, so he ducked out and closed the door behind him.

Seeing Levi reminded Mikasa of something else she wanted to talk about. “What did he do?” she asked.

Eren was confused for just a second before he realized what she was talking about. “Oh,” he said. “It’s nothing.” He didn’t want to talk about it, and he especially didn’t want to have to convince Mikasa not to kill Levi when he wasn’t too sure he didn’t want to kill Levi himself.

Mikasa crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

“He just said some things,” Eren said, realizing that he wouldn’t be able to get away with keeping this from his sister.

“What things?”

Eren knew she’d ask that. “He…” he began, not looking forward to her reaction. He forced the words out in one quick breath. “He called me an idiot.”

Mikasa tried to keep herself contained. Her fists clenched at her sides and her eyes narrowed, but otherwise she thought she did well. “He _what_?”

Eren sighed. “He called me an idiot.”

“I’m going to kill him.”

“No,” Eren said tiredly. “You don’t have to do that, ‘Kasa. Just… let us figure it out, ok? There’s a lot going on right now, and I just…” He sighed again.

Normally Mikasa would have kept vying for blood, but there was something in the defeated shrug of Eren’s shoulders that stopped her. So instead, she stepped forward and hugged him.

Eren was shocked at the gesture, having expected more of Mikasa’s fury, but he relaxed into his sister’s arms. A few seconds later, another pair of arms wrapped around him and he looked to see that Armin had joined them.

“Are you ok, Eren?” Armin asked softly.

“No,” Eren answered honestly. “But we will be.”

 

* * *

 

To be honest, Levi _did_ intend on only getting food. It wasn’t much, but it was something he could do, and he was going crazy sitting in the waiting room with his guilt. He knew how much Eren loved Panera, so he planned on going there to get him some mac n’ cheese and then a burger for Erwin from Five Guys, and then top it all off with some donuts from this amazing little shop not too far from their apartment that they went to every so often.

He didn’t even know how he ended up outside Survey Corp, but he looked around and found himself in the parking lot. And then Levi’s feet led him inside, his hands pulled his badge from his pocket and showed it to the guard, and he was in the elevator before he even thought about what he was doing.

Levi wasn’t sure why he was doing this. He knew it wouldn’t help. He knew it was a bad idea. He was just making things worse. He should just turn around and go get food like he promised; he should definitely not walk past the secretary and barge into the office and call out, “Pixis!”

But he did. He couldn’t stop himself. And it was too late now.

“Levi,” Pixis greeted after he hung up from the phone call he’d been on. “I was wondering when you’d show up. I already told you, it’s Eren’s decision.”

“That’s not why I’m here.” Levi closed the door behind him but stayed close to it, his feet deciding now that they didn’t want to move.

“Oh?” Pixis asked, leaning back and steepling his fingers.

Levi swallowed heavily before he began. “Why him?” he asked. “Why Eren?”

Pixis smirked. “Why not?” he returned. “He’s determined, he’s passionate; he already knows more than an outsider should, so it seemed the logical choice.”

Levi’s legs finally decided to move again as he stormed up to Pixis’s desk and slammed his hands down on it. “Don’t give me that crap,” he seethed. “It’s no coincidence that you asked him right after he got taken. What do you know?”

Pixis hummed as he thought. “Can I trust you not to keep it to yourself if I told you?” Levi knew what that meant: could he keep this from Erwin and Eren?

He wanted to say no. He really wanted to say that he was done pissing them off; that he wouldn’t lie to them, especially about something that was so important. But instead he said, “Depends. Will it put them in more danger if they know?”

“Most likely,” Pixis answered casually, as if they weren’t talking about the two most important people in Levi’s life potentially dying.

“Then yes,” Levi decided, regretting it as he did so. “You can.”

Pixis smiled and leaned forward, setting his elbows on the desk. “Alright then,” he said with a smirk. “Why don’t you sit down?”

 


End file.
